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Generic Love

Generic Love
Some years ago I was having dinner with my girlfriend, Liz; among other items on my plate was a heaping mound of mashed potatoes. When Liz noticed I had finished eating all of my potatoes, she instantly ladled another scoop onto my plate, without asking. She had done this before, and I felt I needed to say something: "Please don't automatically give me more food without checking first to see if I want more." "Oh. Sorry." It was a short-lived but friendly relationship, and about six months later she was living happily with a new man, one of my housemates, Steve. Meanwhile, I was formulating a theory about love: it's nothing personal. I began to reflect on my previous relationship, with Cathy. Again, I got it: love is generic. My personal idiosyncrasy in love is that I like for both of us to have the same cute little pet name for each other. With Noodles, it eventually became clear that our generic love styles really didn't match. "Who is it?" "Rochel, the shoemaker's daughter." "Rochel?

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-99th-monkey/201004/generic-love

The Top 10 Psychology Studies of 2010 The end of 2010 fast approaches, and I'm thrilled to have been asked by the editors of Psychology Today to write about the Top 10 psychology studies of the year. I've focused on studies that I personally feel stand out, not only as examples of great science, but even more importantly, as examples of how the science of psychology can improve our lives. Each study has a clear "take home" message, offering the reader an insight or a simple strategy they can use to reach their goals , strengthen their relationships, make better decisions, or become happier.

Maslow Self Actualization - unlearn. "Self Actualization is the intrinsic growth of what is already in the organism, or more accurately, of what the organism is." Abraham Maslow Maslow studied healthy people, most psychologists study sick people. The characteristics listed here are the results of 20 years of study of people who had the "full use and exploitation of talents, capacities, potentialities, etc.." Self-actualization implies the attainment of the basic needs of physiological, safety/security, love/belongingness, and self-esteem. Maslow's Basic Principles:

10 simple ways to save yourself from messing up your life Stop taking so much notice of how you feel. How you feel is how you feel. It’ll pass soon. What you’re thinking is what you’re thinking. It’ll go too. Tell yourself that whatever you feel, you feel; whatever you think, you think. How to Kiss Want to see her again? Leave her with a kiss she'll remember. According to a recent study of kissing, good kissing technique can pave the way to a long-term relationship—and the sex that comes with it—or leave you spending the night alone. 10 Ways Our Minds Warp Time How time perception is warped by life-threatening situations, eye movements, tiredness, hypnosis, age, the emotions and more… The mind does funny things to our experience of time. Just ask French cave expert Michel Siffre.

Apocalypse Now: Why Believers Will Grow Stronger If the World Doesn’t End In case you haven’t heard, the world is about to end on May 21. According to 89-year-old radio host Harold Camping and his followers, who have been placing billboards and subway ads across the country, people must repent now and “cry mightily” for God’s mercy in order to be “raptured” into heaven on Saturday, or risk being left behind as the world is wracked by earthquakes, plagues and, ultimately, complete destruction. Psychology is typically lousy at predictions. But it can predict, with the weight of some pretty strong evidence, that if the world doesn’t in fact end this weekend, most true believers of the apocalypse will not lose their religion. Indeed, the failure of the apocalypse to materialize will only strengthen believers’ convictions. The psychology behind this phenomenon applies to far more than fanatical religious behavior.

The Egg The Egg By: Andy Weir You were on your way home when you died. It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. Is love an addiction In the early days of a new romance, it's oh so easy to let friends, work and other areas of your life fall by the wayside as you spend all of your time focused on your new love. In many ways, this all-consuming love can be a lot like an addiction, with each condition characterized by a lack of control, or even a sense of obsession. When psychiatrist Donatella Marazziti studied the brain chemistry of people in love, she found that the levels of serotonin in their brains were much lower than normal [source: BBC].

Casanova's Principles of Sex and Seduction Despite an unremarkable mug, no man is more renowned for his power over women than Giacomo Casanova. In fact, his name has become synonymous with seduction. During his 73 years, he made love to noblewomen, actresses, dancers, chambermaids, Greek slave girls, a priest's niece, a farmer's daughter, five sisters (plus their mother), a transvestite, a hunchback (with "an excitingly misplaced vulva"), a nymphomaniac, and two unrepentant nuns -- 132 ladies in all.

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