The Futile Pursuit of Happiness If Daniel Gilbert is right, then you are wrong. That is to say, if Daniel Gilbert is right, then you are wrong to believe that a new car will make you as happy as you imagine. You are wrong to believe that a new kitchen will make you happy for as long as you imagine. You are wrong to think that you will be more unhappy with a big single setback (a broken wrist, a broken heart) than with a lesser chronic one (a trick knee, a tense marriage). A professor in Harvard's department of psychology, Gilbert likes to tell people that he studies happiness. Until recently, this was uncharted territory. The problem, as Gilbert and company have come to discover, is that we falter when it comes to imagining how we will feel about something in the future.
On Making the Right Choice: The Deliberation-Without-Attention Effect Contrary to conventional wisdom, it is not always advantageous to engage in thorough conscious deliberation before choosing. On the basis of recent insights into the characteristics of conscious and unconscious thought, we tested the hypothesis that simple choices (such as between different More Contrary to conventional wisdom, it is not always advantageous to engage in thorough conscious deliberation before choosing. Apocalypse Now: Why Believers Will Grow Stronger If the World Doesn’t End In case you haven’t heard, the world is about to end on May 21. According to 89-year-old radio host Harold Camping and his followers, who have been placing billboards and subway ads across the country, people must repent now and “cry mightily” for God’s mercy in order to be “raptured” into heaven on Saturday, or risk being left behind as the world is wracked by earthquakes, plagues and, ultimately, complete destruction. Psychology is typically lousy at predictions. The psychology behind this phenomenon applies to far more than fanatical religious behavior. Previous studies of apocalyptic religions have explored believers’ reactions when the world doesn’t end as predicted. Before the prophecy foundered, believers had already begun preparing for the world’s end, quietly and with little publicity quitting jobs or school and giving away their money and possessions. What accounts for this “irrational” behavior? (More on TIME.com: Dr.
Generic Love Some years ago I was having dinner with my girlfriend, Liz; among other items on my plate was a heaping mound of mashed potatoes. When Liz noticed I had finished eating all of my potatoes, she instantly ladled another scoop onto my plate, without asking. She had done this before, and I felt I needed to say something: "Please don't automatically give me more food without checking first to see if I want more." "Oh. Sorry." It was a short-lived but friendly relationship, and about six months later she was living happily with a new man, one of my housemates, Steve. Meanwhile, I was formulating a theory about love: it's nothing personal. I began to reflect on my previous relationship, with Cathy. Again, I got it: love is generic. My personal idiosyncrasy in love is that I like for both of us to have the same cute little pet name for each other. With Noodles, it eventually became clear that our generic love styles really didn't match. "Who is it?" "Rochel, the shoemaker's daughter." "Rochel?
The Top 10 Psychology Studies of 2010 The end of 2010 fast approaches, and I'm thrilled to have been asked by the editors of Psychology Today to write about the Top 10 psychology studies of the year. I've focused on studies that I personally feel stand out, not only as examples of great science, but even more importantly, as examples of how the science of psychology can improve our lives. Each study has a clear "take home" message, offering the reader an insight or a simple strategy they can use to reach their goals , strengthen their relationships, make better decisions, or become happier. If you extract the wisdom from these ten studies and apply them in your own life, 2011 just might be a very good year. 1) How to Break Bad Habits If you are trying to stop smoking , swearing, or chewing your nails, you have probably tried the strategy of distracting yourself - taking your mind off whatever it is you are trying not to do - to break the habit. J. 2) How to Make Everything Seem Easier J. 3) How To Manage Your Time Better M. J.
The free five minute personality test! Your Existing Situation "Is stubborn and strong-willed, once her mind is made up it is impossible to change it. she does not ask for much, so she feels when she does ask her needs should be met." Your Stress Sources "Would love a partner with which to share a happy and conflict free existence, but her need for individuality causes her to be over critical and demanding. This leads to problems and disagreements, bringing them close and then pushing them apart, so that her ideal situation can never be fully developed. Your Restrained Characteristics Current situations force her into compromise and placing her own hopes and desires on hold for the time being. "Seeking to broaden her horizons and believes her hopes and dreams are realistic. Conceited and is easily insulted. Your Desired Objective Searching for ways to relieve stress. Your Actual Problem "Wants to be valued and respected, seeks a close and peaceful relationship with a shared respect of each other." Your Actual Problem #2
Field Guide to the Loner: The Real Insiders Miina Matsuoka lives by herself in New York City. She owns two cats and routinely screens her calls. But before you jump to conclusions, note that she is comfortable hobnobbing in any of five languages for her job as business manager at an international lighting-design firm. Loners often hear from well-meaning peers that they need to be more social, but the implication that they're merely black-and-white opposites of their bubbly peers misses the point. Contrary to popular belief, not all loners have a pathological fear of social contact. James McGinty, for one, is a caseworker who opted out of a career as a lawyer because he didn't feel socially on-the-ball enough for the job's daily demands. Solitary Pleasures Matsuoka, who is divorced, is open to romantic relationships , but "whomever I'm with must know that at least one day a week I need to lock myself in my room and stick feathers on a sculpture," she warns. The Unhealthy Case of the Lonely Loner
Want to Know If Someone Likes You? Ever wondered if someone you're attracted to likes you or not, whether someone is your friend or foe, or whether your employees respect you? There's an easy way to find out... try to make them laugh . If the laughter comes easy, the answer is likely yes. In my bachelor days, I spent many years slowly learning about the ins and outs of the mating market. In my first corporate job, I was working on a project team for a few months where I didn't really like my two supervisors all that much. Many years later in grad school (my advisor was Prof. When we meet new people, it may take a while to figure out whether a relationship (of any kind) is desirable. Humor may serve many functions, but the "interest indicator" theory says that an important one is to indicate relationship interest, whether among potential or ongoing mates, friends, and allies, or among family members.
Revenge of the Introvert There are as many introverts as extraverts, but you'd never know it by looking around. Introverts would rather be entertained by what's going on in their heads than in seeking happiness. Their big challenge is not to feel like outsiders in their own culture. by Laurie Helgoe, Ph.D. After ten years as a psychologist practicing psychodynamic psychotherapy , I reclined on the couch of my own analyst feeling burdened by my chosen work. Then I heard myself say: "I don't like being a therapist." Suddenly I felt free, loosed from expectations that never fit. As a card-carrying introvert , I am one of the many people whose personality confers on them a preference for the inner world of their own mind rather than the outer world of sociability. Over the past two decades, scientists have whittled down to five those clusters of cognitions, emotions, motivations, and behaviors that we mean by "personality" factors. Although there is no precise dividing line, there are plenty of introverts around.
How the Brain Stops Time One of the strangest side-effects of intense fear is time dilation, the apparent slowing-down of time. It's a common trope in movies and TV shows, like the memorable scene from The Matrix in which time slows down so dramatically that bullets fired at the hero seem to move at a walking pace. In real life, our perceptions aren't keyed up quite that dramatically, but survivors of life-and-death situations often report that things seem to take longer to happen, objects fall more slowly, and they're capable of complex thoughts in what would normally be the blink of an eye. Now a research team from Israel reports that not only does time slow down, but that it slows down more for some than for others. An intriguing result, and one that raises a more fundamental question: how, exactly, does the brain carry out this remarkable feat? Researcher David Eagleman has tackled his very issue in a very clever way . Was it scary enough to generate a sense of time dilation?
How To Treat Others: 5 Lessons From an Unknown Author Five Lessons About How To Treat People -- Author Unknown 1. First Important Lesson - "Know The Cleaning Lady" During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. Surely this was some kind of joke. "Absolutely," said the professor. I've never forgotten that lesson. 2. One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. A special note was attached. Sincerely, Mrs. 3. In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10 year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it. "Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" The little boy again counted his coins. 4. In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. 5.