Field Guide to the Loner: The Real Insiders Miina Matsuoka lives by herself in New York City. She owns two cats and routinely screens her calls. But before you jump to conclusions, note that she is comfortable hobnobbing in any of five languages for her job as business manager at an international lighting-design firm. She just strongly prefers not to socialize , opting instead for long baths, DVDs, and immersion in her art projects. Loners often hear from well-meaning peers that they need to be more social, but the implication that they're merely black-and-white opposites of their bubbly peers misses the point. Contrary to popular belief, not all loners have a pathological fear of social contact. James McGinty, for one, is a caseworker who opted out of a career as a lawyer because he didn't feel socially on-the-ball enough for the job's daily demands. Solitary Pleasures Research by psychotherapist Elaine Aron bears out Guyer's hunch, demonstrating that withdrawn people typically have very high sensory acuity.
The Meaning of Life by Cliff Pickover The differences between men and women. This is my lastest book: The Book of Black: Black Holes, Black Death, Black Forest Cake, and Other Dark Sides of Life Easily read my latest tweets, for free, here. Return to Pickover's main web page.
The proper way of dealing with spiders The Top 10 Psychology Studies of 2010 The end of 2010 fast approaches, and I'm thrilled to have been asked by the editors of Psychology Today to write about the Top 10 psychology studies of the year. I've focused on studies that I personally feel stand out, not only as examples of great science, but even more importantly, as examples of how the science of psychology can improve our lives. Each study has a clear "take home" message, offering the reader an insight or a simple strategy they can use to reach their goals , strengthen their relationships, make better decisions, or become happier. If you extract the wisdom from these ten studies and apply them in your own life, 2011 just might be a very good year. 1) How to Break Bad Habits If you are trying to stop smoking , swearing, or chewing your nails, you have probably tried the strategy of distracting yourself - taking your mind off whatever it is you are trying not to do - to break the habit. J. 2) How to Make Everything Seem Easier J. 3) How To Manage Your Time Better M. J.
How to grow a Rainbow Rose, Naturally In 2004, two dutch companies, River Flowers and F.J. Zandbergen, experimented and successfully grew a rose that had its petals rainbow colored. As petals get their nourishment through stem, the idea is to split the stem into several channels and dip each one in a different colored water. Sources: 1, 2, 3 Watch: Flowers Color Time Lapse Top 10 Strange Phenomena of the Mind Humans The mind is a wonderful thing – there is so much about it which remains a mystery to this day. Science is able to describe strange phenomena, but can not account for their origins. We have all some experience of a feeling, that comes over us occasionally, of what we are saying and doing having been said and done before, in a remote time – of our having been surrounded, dim ages ago, by the same faces, objects, and circumstances – of our knowing perfectly what will be said next, as if we suddenly remember it! Déjà vu is the experience of being certain that you have experienced or seen a new situation previously – you feel as though the event has already happened or is repeating itself. Déjà vécu (pronounced vay-koo) is what most people are experiencing when they think they are experiencing deja vu. Déjà visité is a less common experience and it involves an uncanny knowledge of a new place. Déjà senti is the phenomenon of having “already felt” something. Jamie Frater
The Complexity of the Creative Personality Researcher Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi includes in his books and other writings descriptions of the diversity and multiple characteristics of creative people. In a post of hers, Juliet Bruce, Ph.D. notes that Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (pronounced me-high chick-sent-me-high-ee) wrote, “If there is one word that makes creative people different from others, it is the word complexity. Instead of being an individual, they are a multitude.” “Like the color white that includes all colors, they tend to bring together the entire range of human possibilities within themselves. Here are a few qualities he lists, as Bruce summarizes: A great deal of physical energy alternating with a great need for quiet and rest.Highly sexual, yet often celibate, especially when working.Smart and naïve at the same time. Do you relate to any of these qualities? One of these intriguing areas is androgyny. The photo is actor Tilda Swinton, at the 2008 Oscars, where she won for her role in “Michael Clayton.”
Generic Love Some years ago I was having dinner with my girlfriend, Liz; among other items on my plate was a heaping mound of mashed potatoes. When Liz noticed I had finished eating all of my potatoes, she instantly ladled another scoop onto my plate, without asking. She had done this before, and I felt I needed to say something: "Please don't automatically give me more food without checking first to see if I want more." "Oh. It was a short-lived but friendly relationship, and about six months later she was living happily with a new man, one of my housemates, Steve. Meanwhile, I was formulating a theory about love: it's nothing personal. I began to reflect on my previous relationship, with Cathy. Again, I got it: love is generic. My personal idiosyncrasy in love is that I like for both of us to have the same cute little pet name for each other. With Noodles, it eventually became clear that our generic love styles really didn't match. "Avram, I have a perfect match for your son, a wonderful girl."
Apocalypse Now: Why Believers Will Grow Stronger If the World Doesn’t End In case you haven’t heard, the world is about to end on May 21. According to 89-year-old radio host Harold Camping and his followers, who have been placing billboards and subway ads across the country, people must repent now and “cry mightily” for God’s mercy in order to be “raptured” into heaven on Saturday, or risk being left behind as the world is wracked by earthquakes, plagues and, ultimately, complete destruction. Psychology is typically lousy at predictions. But it can predict, with the weight of some pretty strong evidence, that if the world doesn’t in fact end this weekend, most true believers of the apocalypse will not lose their religion. The psychology behind this phenomenon applies to far more than fanatical religious behavior. Previous studies of apocalyptic religions have explored believers’ reactions when the world doesn’t end as predicted. What accounts for this “irrational” behavior? Festinger himself led another study that offers more insight into this phenomenon.
On Making the Right Choice: The Deliberation-Without-Attention Effect Contrary to conventional wisdom, it is not always advantageous to engage in thorough conscious deliberation before choosing. On the basis of recent insights into the characteristics of conscious and unconscious thought, we tested the hypothesis that simple choices (such as between different More Contrary to conventional wisdom, it is not always advantageous to engage in thorough conscious deliberation before choosing. On the basis of recent insights into the characteristics of conscious and unconscious thought, we tested the hypothesis that simple choices (such as between different towels or different sets of oven mitts) indeed produce better results after conscious thought, but that choices in complex matters (such as between different houses or different cars) should be left to unconscious thought.
The Futile Pursuit of Happiness If Daniel Gilbert is right, then you are wrong. That is to say, if Daniel Gilbert is right, then you are wrong to believe that a new car will make you as happy as you imagine. You are wrong to believe that a new kitchen will make you happy for as long as you imagine. You are wrong to think that you will be more unhappy with a big single setback (a broken wrist, a broken heart) than with a lesser chronic one (a trick knee, a tense marriage). You are wrong to assume that job failure will be crushing. A professor in Harvard's department of psychology, Gilbert likes to tell people that he studies happiness. Until recently, this was uncharted territory. The problem, as Gilbert and company have come to discover, is that we falter when it comes to imagining how we will feel about something in the future.
How to Keep Bad Moods From Taking You Over | Raptitude.com Photo by r.f.m II Well, it happens sometimes. I find myself in a lousy mood. Hard to say where it started, but it certainly has something to do with not getting much sleep Saturday night. I had big plans for Sunday, but the day was compromised by my zombie state. I think my IQ shrunk about thirty points from normal, for the whole day. My funk cruised on through today too. Today I was going to write a more in-depth post on another topic, but when I sat down to do it, it was like pulling teeth. The Nature of the Beast Low moods are a bizarre animal. Mine is currently sucking the excitement out of certain upcoming events that normally thrill me to think about. Thankfully I’ve learned to recognize what it means to be in a bad mood, and usually I can remember what to do about it. In a bad mood, the thinking mind sticks around (sometimes it even goes into overdrive) but wisdom seems to slink away when you’re not looking. The most important thing I ever learned about moods is this: A Warning
The free five minute personality test! Your Existing Situation "Is stubborn and strong-willed, once her mind is made up it is impossible to change it. she does not ask for much, so she feels when she does ask her needs should be met." Your Stress Sources "Would love a partner with which to share a happy and conflict free existence, but her need for individuality causes her to be over critical and demanding. Your Restrained Characteristics Current situations force her into compromise and placing her own hopes and desires on hold for the time being. "Seeking to broaden her horizons and believes her hopes and dreams are realistic. Conceited and is easily insulted. Your Desired Objective Searching for ways to relieve stress. Your Actual Problem "Wants to be valued and respected, seeks a close and peaceful relationship with a shared respect of each other." Your Actual Problem #2 "Tends to be too trusting, so she must protect herself from this or she runs the risk of being misunderstood or used by others.
Want to Know If Someone Likes You? Ever wondered if someone you're attracted to likes you or not, whether someone is your friend or foe, or whether your employees respect you? There's an easy way to find out... try to make them laugh . If the laughter comes easy, the answer is likely yes. If it doesn't, the answer is likely no. In my bachelor days, I spent many years slowly learning about the ins and outs of the mating market. In my first corporate job, I was working on a project team for a few months where I didn't really like my two supervisors all that much. Many years later in grad school (my advisor was Prof. When we meet new people, it may take a while to figure out whether a relationship (of any kind) is desirable. Humor may serve many functions, but the "interest indicator" theory says that an important one is to indicate relationship interest, whether among potential or ongoing mates, friends, and allies, or among family members.