background preloader

Parenting Test

Parenting Test
This page is brought to you by UC Berkeley Parents Network Back to the Jokes & Quotes Collection HOW TO KNOW WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE READY TO HAVE A BABY MESS TEST Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flower bed and rub on the walls. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer. Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos. (If Legos are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles.) The opinions and statements expressed on this page are those of parents who belong to the UC Berkeley Parents Network and should not be taken as a position of or endorsement by the University of California, Berkeley.

Related:  Family Matters

Generations Around the Globe by Tammy Erickson | 8:50 AM April 4, 2011 Geography significantly influences the formation of generational beliefs and behavior. Each country’s unique social, political, and economic events shape specific views and attitudes among today’s adults. Western generational models cannot be applied broadly to a global workforce. My latest research builds on an approach of understanding the generations by looking at the shared formative events that shaped their early years. Bay of Fundie» Blog Archive » Asshole Jesus I’ve seen the original versions of these pictures floating around the internet for quite a while now. They’re somehow supposed to be “inspirational”. I find the whole idea that there’s an invisible guy following me around and watching everything I do to be quite creepy.

Simon Rich: “Unprotected” I born in factory. They put me in wrapper. They seal me in box. Friends Resemble Each Other Genetically An analysis of nearly 1.5 million gene markers found that friends who aren’t biologically related resemble each other genetically -- about as much as "kissing cousins." “Looking across the whole genome,” James Fowler from University of California, San Diego, says in a news release, “we find that, on average, we are genetically similar to our friends. We have more DNA in common with the people we pick as friends than we do with strangers in the same population.” Thank Your Ex Thank you for arguing with me. You taught me the correct way to disagree, as well as the incorrect way. You pushed me to my breaking point, so now I know to never go there again. Thank you for second-guessing every romantic gesture I made. You believing them to be nothing more than measly attempts at covering up dark secrets, only solidified their necessity. You taught me that I am more than capable of being romantic.

PLEASURE In the fifteenth century Marsilio Ficino met with his fellow artists, architects, and philosophers in the enchanted villa of Careggi, just outside Florence, in an upper room where the walls were decorated with inspiring words. "Laetus in praesens" was one of the favored sayings, "Happiness now." These honored words expressed one piece in the humanist philosophy shared by those present, a Renaissance version of Epicureanism, which is the belief that pleasure is not only valid, but a necessary and inspiring goal in everyday life. Today the very word "pleasure" can have hedonistic, and therefore negative, associations, and for many it is hardly a worthy motive in daily living. We use the word "epicurean" to refer to the glutton, the gourmet, and the dandy, the person who makes good food and pleasant living their primary values, and we usually infer that this person goes to extremes and lives a superficial life. Ficino was a vegetarian, but he also loved and kept fine wines.

Timothy McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Global War On Bedbugs: Letters from Bedbug City. George Orwell had bedbugs. Down and Out in Paris and London opens with the owner of a hotel in Paris hollering a reminder at one of her patrons not to squash bedbugs against the wallpaper. They bothered him all over Paris. Does She Love You? Have a question? Need some advice? Ignored by everyone else? Send us your questions via email. The Non-Expert handles all subjects and is updated on Fridays, and is written by a member of The Morning News staff.

Inequality and the American Child by Joseph E. Stiglitz NEW YORK – Children, it has long been recognized, are a special group. They do not choose their parents, let alone the broader conditions into which they are born. They do not have the same abilities as adults to protect or care for themselves. That is why the League of Nations approved the Geneva Declaration on the Rights of the Child in 1924, and why the international community adopted the Convention on the Rights of the Child in 1989. Sadly, the United States is not living up to its obligations. In fact, it has not even ratified the Convention on the Rights of the Child. McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Thirteen Writing Prompts. [Originally published May 4, 2006.] Write a scene showing a man and a woman arguing over the man’s friendship with a former girlfriend. Do not mention the girlfriend, the man, the woman, or the argument. Write a short scene set at a lake, with trees and shit. Throw some birds in there, too.

It Happened to Me: I Had An Emotional Affair Adventures in shady texting. Recently, someone asked me if I have ever cheated on anyone, and I felt a familiar storm of guilt begin to brew in the pit of my stomach. “Once,” I said. “Not physically.” Not physically? What does that mean? Ask A Physicist To Speak At Your Funeral You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy is created in the universe and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all your energy, ever vibration, every BTU of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid the energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got. And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our energy is given off as heat.

why americans should never be allowed to travel I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?" I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts.

I Like Your Flaws I like how you mispronounce words sometimes, how you fumble and stammer and stutter looking for the right ones to say and the right ways to say them. I appreciate that you find language challenging, because it is, because everything manmade is challenging. Including man, including you.