proposal graphics | Flickr - Fotosharing! Simon Rich: “Unprotected” I born in factory. They put me in wrapper. They seal me in box. Three of us in box. In early days, they move us around. One day in store, boy human sees us on shelf. He goes to house, runs into bedroom, locks door. I stay in wallet long, long time. This is story of my life inside wallet. The first friend I meet in wallet is Student I.D. In middle of wallet, there live dollars. I also meet photograph of girl human. When I first get to wallet, I am “new guy.” Soon after, I am taken out of wallet. A few days later, picture of girl human is gone. That summer, I meet two new friends. MetroCard is from New York City and he never lets you forget it. When MetroCard meets GameStop PowerUp Card Jordi Hirschfeld, he looks at me and says, No wonder Jordi Hirschfeld not yet use you. That night, MetroCard tells me many strange things about myself. It is around this time that we move. No more GameStop PowerUp Card Jordi Hirschfeld. I am angry. At this point, I am in “panic mode.” I am confused.
Teachers Top 100 Books for Children The following list was compiled from an online survey in 2007. Parents and teachers will find it useful in selecting quality literature for children. Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss Good Night Moon by Margaret Wise Brown I Love You Forever by Robert N. A Mother's Dictionary This page is brought to you by UC Berkeley Parents Network Back to the Jokes & Quotes Collection The opinions and statements expressed on this page are those of parents who belong to the UC Berkeley Parents Network and should not be taken as a position of or endorsement by the University of California, Berkeley.
Bay of Fundie» Blog Archive » Asshole Jesus I’ve seen the original versions of these pictures floating around the internet for quite a while now. They’re somehow supposed to be “inspirational”. I find the whole idea that there’s an invisible guy following me around and watching everything I do to be quite creepy. Maybe that’s just me. Anyway, I found these recaptioned versions over at Boredville. Update: 7/5/10 I was able to track down the original source for these drawings. You can find more of these great recaptioned versions over at Know Your Meme, in the “Jesus is a Jerk” sub-meme of “LOL Jesus”.
Thank Your Ex Thank you for arguing with me. You taught me the correct way to disagree, as well as the incorrect way. You pushed me to my breaking point, so now I know to never go there again. Thank you for second-guessing every romantic gesture I made. Thank you for sharing with me. Thank you for boring evenings on the couch. Thank you for the loss of affection. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for facing a tough decision with me. Thank you for leaving me. Thank you for reconnecting. Thank you for ignored phone calls. Thank you for impacting me. Thank you for changing me. And, finally, thank you for helping create a me who is loved. Tagged 20 Somethings, Break Up, Change, College, Cooking, Dating, Dating Sucks, Exes, Expectations, Fights, growing up, jack daniels, learning, Love & Sex, Love Hurts, loxe-sex, Maturity, Monogamy, Realism, Relationship, Relationships, Romance, Thanks, The Notebook, The Office
Top 6 Things Moms Wish Dads Knew - New Parent - Your Life No matter how painstakingly daddies-to-be pore over the pregnancy and parenting guides, there’s invariably a lesson or two they’ll overlook about dealing with a new baby and a postpartum woman. And, according to Bumpies, guys tend to miss the same few things over and over. From real moms, here are the top things women wish new dads knew (yes, there’s an entire section dedicated to diapers). Pregnant women/new moms: Print it out, add your notes, and hand to your husband. New/soon-to-be dads: Memorize it. Now. #1. "After having a baby, we never get tired of you telling us that we’re still sexy and that we look ‘the same’…even though our jeans tell us that’s not entirely true!" "Even though she’s now the mother of your child, she’s still your wife and wants to be treated that way." -- chromiumman "New moms need just as much attention as that cute baby!" "All we want is to be loved, appreciated, and told how amazing we are -- not just as moms, but as sexy wives too." -- Emmajoanne #2. #3. #4.
Kids Matter: The economics of fatherhood 'Education for kids' | ActiveDad Wo holen seliger denn nehmen ist - SPIEGEL ONLINE - Nachrichten - Kultur Für die meisten Deutschen sind "holen" und "nehmen" zwei Verben mit unterschiedlicher Bedeutung, zwischen denen es nur selten zu Verwechslungen kommt. In Trier und Umgebung kommt es sogar noch seltener zu Verwechslungen, weil das Verb "nehmen" in der dortigen Umgangssprache praktisch nicht existiert. Wo unsereins "nehmen" sagt, da sagt der Trierer "holen". Die Porta Nigra in Trier: "Ich hol das Hühnerfrikassee!" Im Trierer Land wird wenig genommen, dafür umso mehr geholt. Zugegeben: Es ist ganz schön verwirrend. Als ich selbst einmal einen Herrn aus Trier nach einem gemeinsamen Restaurantbesuch fragte, ob ich ihn im Taxi mitnehmen könne, antwortete er höflich: "Lassen Sie nur, ich hol den Bus!" Das Holen-statt-Nehmen-Phänomen ist eine Besonderheit des Moselfränkischen und daher auch im Saarland verbreitet. Als Ortsfremder mag man das sonderbar finden oder einfach nur zum Schmunzeln. Geben ist seliger denn nehmen, heißt es in der Bibel.
Does She Love You? Have a question? Need some advice? Ignored by everyone else? Question: How do I know if a girl loves me or not? Answer: If one night you go out drinking and end up back at her place, pass out together on the bed with your shoes on, and wake up a few hours later only to discover that you’ve peed the bed, which she takes in stride, changes the sheets, and then the next morning has a laugh about it, later leaves some pamphlets from the local health clinic about child bedwetters in your mailbox, and eventually after a few weeks tells your friends but never, ever tells hers: She loves you. If she knows what song is coming next on the mix CD you made her: She loves you. If she hides your shoes when you’re late for work, and from a supine position on the couch plays “Hot/Cold,” and, finally, after 15 minutes of you ignoring her screaming, “Boiling! If she calls you at work that day to ask, “How are those shoes working out?” If you’re Gael García Bernal: She loves you.
The ten best foods for babies by Evonne Lack Reviewed by the BabyCenter Medical Advisory Board There are lots of healthy, baby-friendly foods out there, but some stand out from the pack. These ten culinary superheroes are loaded with essential nutrients, reasonably priced, easy to prepare, and delicious. How to make baby food at home What's more, now's the perfect time to introduce them. Here are ten of our absolute favorites. Squash Squash is an excellent source of vitamins A and C, is naturally sweet, and has a pleasing, creamy texture. Serving idea: Sprinkle parmesan cheese and a little chili seasoning on half a squash, roast it, and scoop out a serving for your baby, suggests pediatrician Susanna Block, owner of World Baby Foods, an ethnic baby food line. Lentils Crammed with protein and fiber, lentils pack a powerful nutritional punch. Serving idea: Combine cooked lentils with mixed vegetables, rice, and seasonings of your choice. Dark green leafy vegetables Leafy greens boast high amounts of iron and folate.
DAU Jones | 9915 Witzige Geschichten vom Dümmsten Anzunehmenden User ( daus ) | Top 10 | dau - Sprüche | Lustige Erlebnisse am Computer | DAUjones.com It Happened to Me: I Had An Emotional Affair Adventures in shady texting. Recently, someone asked me if I have ever cheated on anyone, and I felt a familiar storm of guilt begin to brew in the pit of my stomach. “Once,” I said. “Not physically.” Not physically? I met Jack at a college party 6 months before I started dating my boyfriend, Nick. While I know it would make a more dramatic story to say that Jack and I had crazy, skin-clawing sex in a bathroom at a party while Nick lingered by the keg wondering where I had gone off to, this never happened. My relationship with Jack was was strictly emotional, and our sole ways of connecting were through text message, and something we called “elbow rubbing.” Throughout the first few months, Jack and I would text daily. It can be hard to decipher what counts as emotional cheating, because it isn't physical. Ah yes, and the elbow rubbing.The first year of our textual relationship, Jack and I never met face to face. So what made it an affair? Adventures in elbow rubbing.
Quirky Ways to Get Your Kids to Behave I've made a lot of bad rules in the decade I've been a mom, from irrational threats ("No graham crackers in the house ever again if you eat them in the living room even one more time") to forbidding human nature ("You may not fight with your sister"). But occasionally I've come up with rules that work better than I'd ever contemplated. These made-up rules have an internal logic that defies easy categorization, but their clarity and enforceability make them work. Rule #1: You can't be in the room when I'm working unless you work, too Goal: Get your child to help, or stop bugging you, while you do chores It might seem odd, but I don't mind doing laundry, cleaning floors or really any kind of housework. I tried to explain to my expanded brood that if they helped me fold laundry, we could do something together sooner. They actually want to be with you as much as possible. I played fact one against fact two and told her that she didn't have to help me but couldn't just sit and watch.