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"How To Bullshit Your Way Through Any Essay" by K W Schroeder

"How To Bullshit Your Way Through Any Essay" by K W Schroeder
If there is one thing college kids neglect the most, besides basic diet and hygiene, it’s the homework assignment essay. Hastily written and utterly unedited the night before it’s due, the modern essay has become something of a nightmare for lackadaisical college students. But writing an essay that seems like it was written by someone with more than a double-digit IQ is not nearly as difficult as it seems, I assure you. Even the laziest Guitar Hero II god can whiz through an essay that reads like it was written by F. Scott Motherfucking Fitzgerald. What seems difficult and scary is actually as simple and accessible as you can want. 1)The introductory paragraph. 2)The thesis. 3)Topic sentences. 4)In-text quotes and citations. 5)The conclusion. Slap some page numbers on that bitch and load a bowl—your essay is done.

http://www.collegehumor.com/article/2974714/how-to-bullshit-your-way-through-any-essay

Eight Secrets Which Writers Won’t Tell You Image from Flickr by Lazurite This is not particularly relevant to the post, but I’m getting an awful lot of comments telling me, often a little snarkily, “it’s ‘THAT’ not ‘WHICH’”. The “don’t use which for restrictive clauses” rule comes (as far as I can tell) from Strunk and White. Plenty of authors, including Austen, have used “which” exactly as I use it in the title.

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Book-A-Minute Classics Got another book report to do? English teachers have the inconsiderate habit of assigning mammoth-sized works of literature to read and then actually expecting you to do it. This wouldn't be so bad except that invariably the requisite reading is as boring as fly fishing in an empty lake. Half of those books don't even have discernible plots. And let's face it -- the Cliff's Notes are pretty time-consuming too.

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Pixar's 22 Rules of Storytelling These rules were originally tweeted by Emma Coats, Pixar’s Story Artist. Number 9 on the list – When you’re stuck, make a list of what wouldn’t happen next – is a great one and can apply to writers in all genres. You admire a character for trying more than for their successes.You gotta keep in mind what’s interesting to you as an audience, not what’s fun to do as a writer. They can be very different.Trying for theme is important, but you won’t see what the story is actually about til you’re at the end of it. Now rewrite.Once upon a time there was ___. Every day, ___.

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