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Why I Will Never Have a Girlfriend -

Why I Will Never Have a Girlfriend -
Tristan Miller German Research Center for Artificial Intelligence[1] 20 December 1999 Why don't I have a girlfriend? This is a question that practically every male has asked himself at one point or another in his life. Not the author, though. Lest anyone suspect that my standards for women are too high, let me allay those fears by enumerating in advance my three criteria for the match. That said, I now present my demonstration of why the probability of finding a suitable candidate fulfilling the three above-noted requirements is so small as to be practically impossible—in other words, why I will never have a girlfriend. Number of people on Earth (in 1998): 5 592 830 000[4] We start with the largest demographic in which I am interested—namely, the population of this planet. …who are female: 2 941 118 000[5] I'd've thought that, given the title of this essay, this criterion goes without saying. …in "developed" countries: 605 601 000[5] …currently (in 2000) aged 18 to 25: 65 399 083[4][5] Related:  Pop Culture ~ Aphorisms

10 places that don’t exist (but should) We've all read a book or watched a movie and wished the places it transported us to were real. Some of the most enduring destinations are fictional. Well, not completely. So, here are my top mythical locations. 10. The home of Winnie the Pooh, Christopher Robin, Piglet, Eeyore, Tigger and friends, the lush and charming Hundred Acre Wood is the literary soul mate of Ashdown Forest in Sussex. 9. 8. The mythical city of gold has come to represent things opulent or unattainable. 7. Rumour has it only children can visit Neverland, but if you think happy thoughts you might just find your way to the famous home of Peter Pan, Captain Hook and the Lost Boys. 6. Who wouldn’t like to travel via rabbit hole? 5. Arthurian scholar Norris J. 4. The subject of debate since Plato first wrote about it in 360BC, Atlantis is said to have sunk into the seas one night around 9000 BC after its people (descended from the god Poseidon), invaded one kingdom too many. 3. 2. 1. Runners Up: Fantasia Stormwind Step 7. Take the bottom piece of the can and start to ruffle the perimeter of the can with your thumb. (Figure 10.) · Isopropyl alcohol works well with the stove but it does not burn as clean as denatured. · You will notice the aluminum strip creates an inner wall to the stove. · You can set your cooking pot right on top of the stove and cook. · Although, no amount of blowing will extinguish the flame. · Please! Scoop on Poop by Brenna E. Lorenz All contents copyright © 1998 Brenna Lorenz, Megaera Lorenz, Malachi Pulte. All Rights Reserved.Reproduction of any part of site without express permission is strictly prohibited. Note: This is the original Scoop on Poop. Poop Photo Gallery! What is poop made of? About 3/4 of your average turd is made of water. Why does poop stink? Poop stinks as a result of the products of bacterial action. Why is poop brown? The color comes mainly from bilirubin, a pigment that arises from the breakdown of red blood cells in the liver and bone marrow. What other colors of poop are possible? Poop is mostly shades of brown or yellow, but other colors can arise under certain circumstances. What is the cause of yellow poop? According to Michael F., one cause of this is Gilbert's Syndrome. What is the cause of green poop? (Question submitted by ap, CrAzYMiC98 and several others) Why is bird poop white? (Question submitted by Sarah Beth) Unlike mammals, birds don't urinate. What causes diarrhea?

Murphy Laws Site - The origin and laws of Murphy in one place. 6 Insane Coincidences You Won't Believe Actually Happened America's Freak Luck During the Battle of Midway The Battle of Midway may be remembered as one of the most spectacular naval battles in history and one of the huge turning points in the Pacific theater, but it started out as a pure clusterfuck for the Americans. Despite going into battle with most of Japan's game plan in their pocket thanks to American codebreakers/Bothan spies, the U.S. Navy had little to show for it in the early hours of June 4, 1942. Where it Gets Weird: There was one squadron of American dive bombers lead by Lieutenant Commander C. His squadron started dropping like flies until, in an act of sheer luck that would make even J.K. Where it Gets Even Weirder: While finding the ships at all was luck, by some kind of ridiculous freak luck McClusky's squadron arrived at the precise moment when all three Japanese carriers were reloading and rearming their aircraft. It'd be like this happening four times, and all in one battle. ...when he wasn't busy being a pimp.

TM): Great quotes by comedians Great quotes by comedians ----- Begin NetScrap(TM) ----- Great quotes by comedians "If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me." --Bobcat Goldthwait "I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money." --Kevin Meaney "My mom said she learned how to swim. Someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. 100 Ways to Serve Others I’ve continued to be inspired by people’s 100 lists and you’ve probably seen many that I’ve highlighted in recent resource lists. Dragos wrote one that triggered me to write another with his excellent post on 100 tips to write huge lists. This list is on my favorite subject and while the length of these lists makes them quite a challenge to make, this particular subject is one I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about and writing goals in so its a great topic for me to tackle in a list. The items were actually fairly easy to come up for me without any research or added web surfing, but the real effort was then in putting a short description or example for each. Anyway, I’m thrilled to have this list completed and can’t wait to experience and see the results of personally doing every single one on the list. 1. This is a great habit to develop to start each and every day and to practice whenever you have the chance. 2. 3. I mean when it comes to transportation or as a physical destination.

Is Getting Naked Good For Your Brain? This article argues the health benefits of nudity, noting that clothes deprive our brain neurons of vital stimulation, since they strangle our range of motion and cause most of our epidermis to atrophy. “Going shoeless is now recognized as an anti-Alzheimer’s, brain-boosting activity because the sole sensation entices your brain into growing extra, efficient neuron connections, while also increasing brain flexibility.” “Plus, clothes are a breeding ground for filthy fungi and bad bacterium, causing yeast infections, urinary tract infections, and rotting toenails.” It also notes the historical precedents for nudity — including the 70,000 Germans who attended naked co-ed schools and naked church services in North Africa, Bohemia, the Netherlands, and England. Even famous people were nudists, including Alexander Graham Bell, Leonard Nimoy, and science fiction author Robert Heinlein. But in addition to all this, clothes are just a huge money/time-suck. 2Share 2666Share