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Blog Archive & The Best Of The Evil Cows Meme Posted by Blaaaarg on May 22, 2012 The 50 Creepiest Pieces of Romance Advice Ever Published Sorry, single people, this week's column is for lovers only. Now that those lonely people are gone, hold that lover close and enjoy 50 highlights from three romantic books that offer tips for every day of the year: 365 Ways to KISS Your Love, 365 Great Ways to Say I Love You, and 365 Ways to be Romantic by everyone's favorite human dispenser of castration chemicals-- Godek. Warning: romance books are not good. Your reproductive systems are about to crawl out and run straight away from this page. Gregory J.P. Godek's idea of clever is writing "Forget-me-not" on a forget-me-not. Is this to convince her that I'm gay or that I forgot which day was her birthday? Ladies, let me save you some time. 1: "Is this because I hate you? 2: "You idiot slut, can I assume the rest of these envelopes are also birthday cards so we can just put this event behind us?" 3: "Hello, Batman? Godek, you fucking dumbass. This is the romance guru equivalent of tech support asking you if your computer is plugged in.