Rape fantasies. I have been struggling with my sexuality for a few years. My main concern is that I become greatly aroused when thinking about rape. It is not a fantasy, but I often cannot feel any kind of arousal when thinking about "regular" sex. I am also bisexual, and have never been sexually abused or assaulted to the best of my knowledge. This is worrying me, because I have great difficulty imagining being intimate with my partner and I have never experienced an orgasm when we have become sexually intimate. I want to have a healthy relationship, but I fear I will never experience satisfaction with another person.
Should I tell my partner about my arousal when imagining being raped? Dear Lisa, The single most common theme in romance novels is some variation on the "gentle rape. " For reasons probably related to guilt induced by Judeo-Christian messages, many people experience guilt around their thoughts of rape. I encourage you to share your arousal when thinking of rape with your lover(s). Sexdoc. Consent (BDSM) Consent within BDSM is when a participant gives their permission for certain acts or types of relationships. It bears much in common with the concept of informed consent. It is an issue that attracts much attention within BDSM, as well from outside observers. Consent is an explicit agreement to acts, terms, and conditions. It can be confirmed verbally and/or in writing. The underlying principle is a classical liberal idea that a person's freedom can be measured by lack of interference with their personal choices.
As in classical liberalism, the harm principle comes into play. Informed consent is the idea that consent is offered with sufficient information and understanding of what is being agreed upon. Another concept is contemporaneous consent. Consent is a vital element in all psychological play, and consent can be granted in many ways. It is not unusual to grant consent only for an hour or for an evening. For long term consent, a "Slave Contract" is sometimes used. What is consent? The nature and effects of consensual non-consent. Non-Consensual Consent? « Poundcake. I recently saw the documentary Graphic Sexual Horror, and am still mulling it over.
The movie is a documentary covering the now defunct insex.com, an early and notorious internet bondage site that ran from 1997 to 2005. The site exclusively featured female submission, with stills, videos, and live feeds, and had something like 35000 members at the height of its popularity. The movie has extensive interviews with the creator of insex.com, Brent Scott (known as “pd”), as well as with some of the former models, members, and staff.
At first, insex.com seems like a bondage paradise. Cheery models are interviewed, explaining how much fun (in a super intense way) that they had, and how it was a great way to make easy money. Scenes of the shooting are shown, during which models are extensively queried as to their health and comfort between shoots (to ensure that the during-shoot distress that they are displaying is only an act for the camera). Like this: Like Loading... 2 Comments. The Issue of Consensual Non-Consent in Spanking « Finding Sara. From Under The Desk | consensual non-consent. Consensual Non Consent? No one really doing anything they do not want to do so there really is any such things as a total power exchange relationship? Well it depends on how you want to look at it. Of course with two mentally healthy people the big picture is of course the slave is doing what they want.
No one mentally healthy is being forced into doing things that make them miserable. But that is not what is going on. What is going on in a TPE relationship is non consensual things done within the relationship from mundane to severe and from here and there to something’s prolonged that both people want and need in the relationship to be happy overall which makes it consensual. A slave like me does things and endures things because we want and need them to be done to us by our owner not because the individual things bring us pleasure. There are people who are in various power exchange relationships that will not do or order another to do something if they do not specifically want it.
The Dark Side » Blog Archive » DARK SIDE #042 Consensual Non-Consent - Interview. 20Feb This week DA and KnotNice interview wayward_woman - the presenter of a Rape Play Workshop. The discussion is about taking some of the darker fantasies and making them real - Rape Play, Take Down scenes, as well as Gang Rape Play; how to prepare, how to fulfill, and how to succeed. The difference between real rape and rape play is HUGE, starting and ending with consent. Rape play is a common fantasy, and wayward_woman steps up thru ways to put one together, and what her own progression has been, including how her own sexual assault effected her original fantasy. We also get into a new group in the Toronto Ontario area for people who wish to enjoy group sex called the Fuck Club - who also do gang rape play for select members.
Sponsor : EHBC NEWS #1 : Immokalee man, outraged by men in drag, arrested on weapon and disturbance charges NEWS #2 : The Dark Origins Of Valentine's Day PODCAST SHOUT-OUT : 2 Homos. Consensual Non-Consent. A couple of blog posts by others have got me thinking about 'non-consent'. Eliane writing about the power of the word 'no'. She likes being told it; I like saying it. And Kami's description about a very intense rape scene she did recently. For me 'non-consent' is a powerful turn on. And 'no' is a great word to reinforce the helplessness and impotency in a scene. But the most important thing is we wouldn't enjoy any of these scenes if we had not previously given our consent. Giving consent in advance to a trusted play partner allows the 'non-consent' in the scene to take place safely and enjoyably, for both parties. His sense of power is heightened as equally as her despair is, making the scene work even better for both of them.
As this was on all my mind last night it's no wonder then that I had the following dream: 'I was held by a Domme that I knew, but had never played with. I'm still trying to figure out if the dream meant I really want to be abused, completely non-consensually. Consensual Non-Consent « Femdom Blogs. Non-Consensual Sex. Consensual non-consent | The Happy Sadist. The Fantasy of Acceptable 'Non-Consent': Why the Female Sexual Submissive Scares Us (and Why She Shouldn't) | Sex & Relationships. December 28, 2008 | Like this article? Join our email list: Stay up to date with the latest headlines via email. The following excerpt is from the book Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape, edited by Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti. Because I'm a feminist who enjoys domination, bondage and pain in the bedroom, it should be pretty obvious why I often remain mute and, well, pretty closeted about my sexuality.
BDSM (for my purposes, bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism) makes a lot of people uncomfortable, and the concept of female submission makes feminists really uncomfortable. As someone who works in the feminist media and who advocates against violence against women and for rape survivors' rights, I never really felt I was allowed to participate in the fantasy of my own violation. But when you throw a little rape, bondage or humiliation fantasy into the mix, a whole set of ideological problems arises. Women's Rape Fantasies: How Common? What Do They Mean? Some women have fantasies of being forced into sex . At first glance, rape fantasies make no sense. Why fantasize about something that in real life would be traumatic , repugnant, and life-threatening? But on closer examination, such fantasies are not unusual.
Many men daydream about getting the girl by rescuing her from a dangerous situation--without the slightest wish to confront armed thugs, or be trapped in a fire on the 23rd floor. Fantasies allow us to "experience" the outer limits of our imaginations safely, with no risk--and for some people, that includes fantasies of coerced sex. But rape fantasies raise thorny issues. From 1973 through 2008, nine surveys of women's rape fantasies have been published. For the latest report (Bivona, J. and J. Sixty-two percent said they'd had at least one such fantasy. Frequency of rape fantasies varied substantially. Rape fantasies can be either erotic or aversive.
Romance novels are often called " porn for women. " What do rape fantasies mean? Why Men Should Fear the Rape Fantasy: Sex + Other Releases. Jim was hiding between two bushes in the back yard, but lack of space was the least of his concerns. Standing next to a window so that he had a perfect view into a woman's bedroom—where, dressed in a thigh-length pink negligee, she was masturbating to porn—Jim had one main worry: that the woman's neighbors would see what he was doing, or worse, what he was about to do. Jim (not his real name), a 40-year-old Bay Area aviation manager, wasn't an ordinary Peeping Tom: The woman inside the house—let's call her Tina—had given him her address and told him when to show up.
She'd also left the back door unlocked so that he could easily get in. Her instructions, however, were more explicit than that: He was to slap her across the face, throw her against the wall, and tie her up with rope she'd left for that very purpose. Jim, you see, was there to fulfill her sexual fantasy—or to try to. Human Nature : Rape, Fantasies, and Female Arousal. Do some women fantasize about rape? Do some become aroused during rape? If so, what does it mean? Daniel Bergner, a contributing writer for the New York Times Magazine , raises those questions in the magazine's current issue . Obviously, Bergner's a guy. So am I. But the evidence and theories in the article come from women who have been researching female sexuality. For instance, Meredith Chivers, a psychology professor at Queen's University, Will Saletan writes about politics, science, technology, and other stuff for Slate. Follow has confronted clinical research reporting not only genital arousal but also the occasional occurrence of orgasm during sexual assault.
How could anyone want something done to her against her will? The answer, some of these researchers propose, is that women's sexuality is split. Chivers speculates that female sexuality might be split between "physiological" and "subjective" systems. So does reproductive logic, according to Chivers: What's Behind Rape Fantasies? - Page 1 - People. How many women have rape fantasies? " my friend Michael Malice asks over drinks. The question comes out of thin air. "I don't know, but it's not uncommon," I reply. "I'd think a lot of women have rape fantasies," says another guy friend. "Every girl I've been with wants to be dominated. " photo: Erin Hosier Lisa Carver Details Related Stories More About "You should know, since you're into spanking," replies Michael.
I find rape fantasies disconcerting. I called Lisa Carver (myspace.com/drugsarenice), the woman behind the infamously in-your-face band Suckdog and author of the brilliant new memoir Drugs Are Nice (Soft Skull Press, 2005). The desire to be captured, taken, used, and abused—while enjoying it—came up several times. In my random sampling, only one woman, "Dana," wanted to rape a guy. These fantasies may sound scary, disturbing, or even laughable, yet they are real coping mechanisms. Feminist writer Jill Soloway (jillsoloway.com) thinks rape fantasies work on an evolutionary level. Rape fantasy alert. Meet Roxxxy.
Five-foot-seven, 120 pounds, sexually insatiable and fascinated by everything you say. She is the world’s first sex robot. Unlike your standard issue Real Doll, Roxxxy is interactive, touch sensitive, and inspired by Sept. 11. After the World Trade Center attacks, New Jersey inventor Donald Hines decided to design a program that could store the character of his friend who died. It’s unclear which of Roxxxy’s five downloadable personalities is Hines’s late buddy: “Frigid Farrah” (reserved and shy sexy), “Wild Wendy” (outgoing and adventurous sexy), “S&M Susan” (extreme pleasure / pain sexy), “Young” (spunky, virginal sexy) and “Mature Martha” (experienced, maternal sexy). It’s also unclear why Hines chose only baby-boomer names. Thanks to the skills of Disney and Muppets animatronics experts, Roxxxy can feel you stroke her shapely prosthetics. Evolutionarily, these men were not meant to sow their seed.
Roxxxy is like a Rohypnoled co-ed. Rape fantasies are tricky. Women's Rape Fantasy. Rape fantasies. Some Rules of the Game for Dominants. Some Rules of the Game For Dominants Be patient! Until you enter into a contract with a submissive, you have no more right to order him/her around than does anyone else. Give your bottom time to get to know you and what you are like. Finesse and subtlety are major elements of dominance.
Be humble. Be open. Communicate! Be honest. Be sensitive. Be realistic. Be really dominant! Be healthy! Have fun! Some Rules For Submissives Be patient! Be humble. Be open. Communicate! Be honest. Be vulnerable. Be realistic. Be really submissive! Be healthy! Have fun!
Rituals. Bdsm encyclopedia -R.