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zombies and such
Every Saturday, Cracked lets someone from another website do the update for us.
There's not a movie on Earth that wouldn't be drastically improved by the addition of zombies. Whether it's a romantic comedy, a buddy cop flick or a documentary about global warming, the inclusion of a sudden attack by relentless, blood-thirsty zombies is a surefire way to make any movie more compelling, more thrilling and more award-winning. To demonstrate this principle, we've hired a team of elite screenwriting geniuses who, using the finest Pentium computers available, are busy rewriting the classic movies of our age to include zombies.
Everybody has a zombie contingency plan. A unique and ingenious stratagem they've spent hours contemplating that ensures they and their loved ones will stay alive in the event of a zombie apocalypse.
We found out recently that if you try to leave a little kid in a graveyard late at night, he'll freak out. Even if you offer to leave him a gun to protect himself. Why?
Let's pretend for a moment that zombies are real (as if half of you weren't already daydreaming about that very thing). Have you noticed how most zombie movies take place only after the apocalypse is in full-swing? By the time we join our survivors, the military and government are already wiped out, and none of the streets are safe. There's a reason the movie starts there, and not earlier. It's because the early part, where we go from one zombie to millions, doesn't make any sense. If you let the creeping buzzkill of logic into the zombie party, you realize the zombies would all be re-dead long before you even got a chance to fire up that chainsaw motorcycle you've been working on.
Now is a good time to ponder the apocalypse. Iran and North Korea are going nuclear, the wonky weather is a harbinger of catastrophic climate change, and end-of-the-world blockbusters abound. (Tim Burton's ' 9 ' came out last week and ' 2012 ,' ' The Road ,' and ' Zombieland ' are all coming up later this fall.) In that dismal spirit, the Switched team has gathered its first choices for last-chance gadgetry -- a collection of 12 must-haves if society is in peril, whether it be by fire or ice , zombies or aliens. Using our handy "What Type of Apocalypse Will It Be?"
Public restrooms serve as both a creative playground for horrible people, and also as an outlet for those who like wrecking a place. Beware: it's dangerous in there. Just The Facts