6 'Facts' About Historic Figures (Their Enemies Made Up) The truth is like Silly Putty: you can stretch it, mold it and use it to destroy someone's life. Just ask anyone who's ever run a nasty smear campaign; a good, juicy lie or half-truth about someone can not only follow them to the grave, but can echo down through history long after. Just look at how the following "historical facts"--all complete bullshit--have continued to show up in print for centuries after the subject has passed away. Napoleon Was Really, Really Short Quick, let's do word association. When we say "Napoleon" you say the first word that comes to mind.
About 20 percent of you just said, "French! " Yes, in a world where our hazy history education won't let most of us quote even five facts about the guy, what we all know is that he was a tiny, tiny little man. Now, it's true Bonaparte didn't tower over anyone. But most agree that Bonaparte was almost 5' 7", which was in fact just above average for the early 19th century (and wouldn't exactly make him a freak even now). J. Why? Viking Jewelry Unearthed in Denmark. Several pieces of Viking jewelry, some of which contain gold, have been uncovered at a farm site in Denmark that dates as far back as 1,300 years.
Although the Vikings have a popular reputation as being raiders, they were also farmers, traders and explorers, and the craftsmanship seen in this jewelry demonstrates their artistic skills. Archaeologists working with volunteers used metal detectors to find the jewelry in different spots throughout a farmstead on Zealand, the largest island in Denmark. The remains of the site, which is now called Vestervang, date from the late seventh to the early 11th centuries. Finding such lavish goods at such a modest farm site poses a puzzle, the archaeologists said. The reason why the farm site would hold such treasure may lie in a legendary site located nearby. [See Photos of the Sparkling Viking Jewelry] Heart-shaped animal head "The neck is covered by a beadlike chain," Kastholm writes. A golden Christian mystery Rich jewelry at a modest site. Images: Viking-Age Jewelry Revealed in Sparkling Photos. Europe’s Top 25 Castles – The Best Castles in Europe.
There is something about castles that inspires awe and at the same time touches a gentler, more romantic side in each of us. And if you want to visit and tour some of the best castles in the world, then Europe should be your destination as this continent certainly has more than its share. Here are the top 25 castles in Europe, in no particular order. 1. Castle Neuschwanstein in Germany Neuschwanstein Castle For many of those that see this castle for the first time, they get a niggling feeling that Castle Neuschwanstein looks so familiar. 2. Peles Castle Known as one of the most beautiful castles in Europe, Peles Castle can be discovered in the majestic Carpathian Mountains, near the town of Sinaia, Romania. 3. Bojnice Castle Bojnice Castle is located in Bojnice, Slovakia and is one of the most delightful romantic castles in Europe. 4.
Castillo de Coca 5. Brodick Castle Situated in the Isle of Arran in Scotland, this castle is one of the oldest. 6. Veliki Tabor Castle 7. Ksiaz Castle 8. 9. 10. The 6 Most Important Things Humanity Just Plain Forgot. If you could draw a graph showing the growth of mankind's knowledge and technology, you'd think it would look like a staircase, steadily edging upward year after year as we get a little bit smarter than our ancestors. It's not true, though. Some of the most amazing things ever discovered wound up lost or forgotten for centuries, for utterly ridiculous reasons.
Such as... A whole lot of the modern world you're enjoying right now exists thanks to the invention of the steam engine, which kicked off the industrial age. It was invented in 1712 and later improved by James Watt, who would get all of the credit (right down to everyone using his last name to measure electricity). Wait, did we say it was invented in 1712? Because that's actually off by 1600 years or so. Some time in the first century, an engineer called Heron of Alexandria, or Hero to his friends, set to work on an aeolipile--a small, steam-powered turbine that propelled itself by shooting steam out of one or more orifices.
Poser. The 6 Most Impressive Serial Criminals in the Animal Kingdom. Have you ever turned around and caught your cat staring at you like he was planning something illegal? Well, guess what? It turns out that, judging by the actions of these animals, he probably totally was. The results range from creepy to adorable. #6. Sam the Seagull: Shoplifter Getty Unless you've been hiding under an Internet rock for the past few years, you've probably seen an animated gif of this seagull stealing a bag of chips from a store (and if you haven't, your day is about to improve dramatically): Via Eatnineghost.com Ha! So, to get his fix, he regularly visited a local shop to swipe a pack. As the shop assistant put it, "He's got it down to a fine art. Sam became so popular, and the locals found his thievery so hilarious, that the locals started paying for the chips he stole so that the store wouldn't be tempted to try to stop him.
GettyHe's an angry bird because all those Snickers bars gave him diabetes. #5. And Fred's crew likes to break into cars. #4. 11 Modern Technologies That Are Way Older Than You Think. For a long time, we've been able to pride ourselves on the fact that we're smarter than our primitive ancestors. Sure, they made fire and the wheel and invented language, or whatever, but we brought technology. Turns out a lot of our most technologically sophisticated inventions were already invented, which does nothing but remind us how useless we are. Believed to have been invented in... In 2001, if you are a die hard Mac fan. Or 1997, if you are aware cheaper MP3 players existed before Steve Jobs figured out people would pay twice as much to hear their pirated songs on the bus if the MP3 player looked like the bastard son of Eve from Wall-E and a pocket calculator.
Actually Invented in... In 1979, Kane Kramer and his friend, James Campbell, came up with the idea of a portable music player the size of a cigarette box. They even built five prototypes they showed potential investors. Late 19th century or early 20th century, or whatever the hell that World of Motion ride at EPCOT said. Back? 5 Ridiculous Sex Myths From History (You Probably Believe) Since the sexual revolution of the '60s, we tend to think that sexuality from the Baby Boomers back to the beginning of time was a long history of repressed urges, prudish fundamentalist restrictions and brutal rape politics.
But it turns out that a lot of what BBC dramas tell you about sex in history is just a fanciful cover for sex lives that didn't differ that much from our own. Myths that persist to this day include ... #5. Victorians Were Repressed and Sexless When you think about the Victorian era, you probably remember a whole bunch of jokes about how women couldn't show their ankles without it being considered indecent exposure. If they ever did have sex, they would first have to peel off so many layers of clothing that it almost wasn't worth it. Queen Victoria is rumored to have told her daughter to "just lie back and think of England" when the princess was concerned about having to fulfill her wifely duties on her wedding night.
GettyWe can barely conceal our boners right now. 5 B.S. Renaissance Myths You Learned in History Class. #2. Renaissance Rome Was Not a Magnificent Cultural Center Hemera Technologies/AbleStock.com The Myth: Renaissance Rome must have been a spectacular sight indeed. If science would only hurry its ass up with that chrono-phonebooth, we'd all travel straight back there to snap ourselves some pics of it in all its artistic glory. Then we'd run them through a shitty filter and fill them with misspelled hashtags, because that's how the future rolls, bitches.
Via Wikimedia#selfie The Reality: Want to see what Renaissance Rome looked like? Medioimages/Photodisc/Photodisc/Getty ImagesOn the plus side, house cleaning was pretty straightforward. At the height of the Renaissance, Rome's population had fallen to its lowest ever: Just 10,000 inhabitants lived in a city that had once been home to as many as a million.
. #1. Daniel Stockman, via Wikipedia Jupiterimages/liquidlibrary/Getty ImagesWhen they weren't busy cupping their balls, that is. You can't really blame the witch hunters, though. 6 Ridiculous History Myths (You Probably Think Are True) Everybody knows that people in the past were insane. They wore funny hats, used words like "wherefore," and don't get us started on the pants. But some of the historic anecdotes we love repeating again and again simply aren't true. As convenient as it may be to think of our ancestors as murder-happy torture enthusiasts, they were crazy, but they weren't that crazy. Gun Fights in the Violent Wild West The Insanity: A gloriously mustached man sits at a card game in an old saloon, surrounded by cowboys and surprisingly fresh-faced prostitutes.
He looks up, and notices that the player opposite him is hiding an extra card up his sleeve. The cowboys and prostitutes go back to their drinks, well-accustomed to this sort of random violence, as the man nonchalantly twirls his pistol and says: "Guess he couldn't read my poker face. " A typical western saloon, moments before everyone in the room shot each other. But in Reality... How many murders do you suppose these old western towns saw a year? 5 Ridiculous Myths You Probably Believe About the Dark Ages. From Stone Age to Space Age, every era in human history has ultimately been about progress. Well, almost every era. The Dark Ages are an exception to the rule -- everyone knows that after Rome fell, the world stumbled ass-backward into a figurative night that lasted for centuries. It was a period of intellectual and economic darkness where everyone was either a brutal warrior or a filth-encrusted victim. Well, that's what they say, anyway. Although the Dark Ages were definitely darker than modern times (in the same way cellphone reception was significantly worse during the Bronze Age), they were by no means the bottomless pit of despair they're generally presented as.
(The Dark Ages aren't the only era you've been lied to about. . #5. The Myth: Look, they were called the goddamned Dark Ages for a reason. Skulls smile, right? The Reality: Actually, the standard of living was pretty decent, even if you were poor as hell. Hulton Archive / GettyWelcome to the real Medieval Times. #4. . #3. 6 Ridiculous Myths About the Middle Ages Everyone Believes. When you think of the Middle Ages, chances are you picture gallant knights sitting astride brilliant destriers galloping through a sea of plagues, ignorance, and filth.
And you can hardly be blamed for that, when everything from the movies you watch to your high school history teacher (who was mainly the football coach) has told you that ... #6. Scientific Progress Was Dead Getty The Myth: They call it the Dark Ages for a reason. Getty"No, we can't cross the ocean there, don't you see that sea monster in the way? " The Reality: Aside from the fact that, as we've already explained, most people in the Middle Ages did not think the Earth was flat, the church wasn't responsible for killing science -- to the contrary, it was largely responsible for saving it. After the barbarians invaded Europe and Rome went the way of the dinosaurs, the Catholic church was the last remaining aspect of Roman culture in Western Europe. SjuPfft, like people are going to want to learn a whole other set of characters. 5 Ridiculous Cold War Myths You Learned in History Class. The second half of the 20th century was dominated by the world's two remaining superpowers facing each other down.
The rest of the world rallied behind one or the other as Soviet and American forces started in on spying and covert warring. There were good guys and bad guys, and it was all bullshit. For instance ... #5. It was the culmination of Kennedy's remarks in West Germany at one of the most volatile points in the Cold War. See, while Kennedy confidently delivered his kicker, "Ich bin ein Berliner" and prepared to drop the mic and walk offstage, the Germans were laughing their asses off. Wikipedia"This comedian is terrible. Why It's Bullshit: According to German professor Reinhold Aman in his epic volume Maledicta, "No intelligent native speaker of German tittered in Berlin when JFK spoke.
" Getty"I am neither delicious nor fattening" has a special word in 36 languages. The pedantic jack offs who still repeat this anecdote claim the use of the word "ein" is what screwed Kennedy. . #4. 27 Great Moments in History If The Internet Was Around. 6 Historic Acts of Revenge That Put 'Kill Bill' to Shame. There's nothing like the vaguely sadistic pleasure of a good revenge movie, from Uma Thurman hacking the limbs off the entire Japanese mafia to any of the 36 vengeance-crazed madmen Mel Gibson has played. But it's all fantasy, right? Real people don't go on a Payback-style path of destruction when they're wronged. Well, maybe you should consider... The Trung Sisters' Kung Fu Rebellion Trung Trac and Trung Nhi were simple-living sisters in a small village sometime in first century Vietnam, who by the way had been trained from childhood in martial arts.
The area at the time was ruled with an iron fist by the Chinese, who had a kind of zero tolerance policy when it came to their subsidiaries acting like they were all unique and independent. They executed the outspoken rebel, and then went ahead and raped his widow Trac because why not. OK, see this? The Payback: Due to their traditional Confucian teachings, the Han Chinese considered women to be pretty useless.
Conwhocius? Among other things. 6 Insane Coincidences You Won't Believe Actually Happened. America's Freak Luck During the Battle of Midway The Battle of Midway may be remembered as one of the most spectacular naval battles in history and one of the huge turning points in the Pacific theater, but it started out as a pure clusterfuck for the Americans. Despite going into battle with most of Japan's game plan in their pocket thanks to American codebreakers/Bothan spies, the U.S. Navy had little to show for it in the early hours of June 4, 1942. Just about every aircraft that took on the Japanese that day was destroyed, and all without delivering any serious damage.
In short, the Battle of Midway started off like the Battle of Endor, only with every fighter in the Rebel Fleet crashing into the Death Star's deflector shield. Where it Gets Weird: There was one squadron of American dive bombers lead by Lieutenant Commander C. His squadron started dropping like flies until, in an act of sheer luck that would make even J.K. Where it Gets Even Weirder: ...when he wasn't busy being a pimp. 5 Shockingly Progressive Ideas from 'Primitive' Cultures. If you view history in time-lapse, it's like a Benny Hill sketch with the ethnic majority zanily scrambling around to the tune of "Yakety Sax," beating the minorities with their shoes ... then brutally raping and murdering them.
We're a terrible species, and it's only recently that we've started to accept that we should maybe possibly (kind of) consider accepting each other's differences (a little bit), rather than trying to oppress folks into normality. But that's a faulty assumption: We're not only less progressive today than you might think, but there have been some truly shocking moments of tolerance in history that make the modern world look downright bigoted. #5. Vikings Had Progressive Rape Laws Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images News/Getty Images When you think "Vikings," you think "casual rapists" somewhere after "horned helmets," but before "longboats. " But in actuality, Vikings win extra bonus points for their relatively fair treatment of women. . #4. . #3. Austinweeklynews.com No? 6 Great US Presidents and Their Crimes Against Humanity. 27 Crazy Inventions From The Past.
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