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Hearing noises when home alone and just accepting the fact you're gonna die

Speaking to your friends with a charlie the unicorn accent

Picking up chicks at subway because they know how to handle a footlong

The awkward moment when you have a tribal tattoo, but no tribe

I prefer the upright version of planking, it's called standing.

Liking People's Depressing Statuses

The awkward moment when a customer thinks they're right

Being the more tanned one in the relationship

Abs on a skinny guy is like a fat bitch with big tits- it doesn't count.

Going to a party looking like Megan Fox and coming home like Amy Winehouse

I'm just saying, she looks like she can take a dick.

You had me at proper grammar.

Being a strong black woman who dont need no man

Slapping your girl on the ass to show your authority

Being the less retarded one in a relationship

English teachers put more thought into a novel than the author did.

Relating your teacher's bad mood with their lack of sexual satisfaction.

Complimenting fat girls at the gym as a future investment

Not using your indicators because no cunt needs to know your business.

Beating your ginger child to prepare them for society.

Telling people their hot straight out cause your a confident cunt

Calling your girlfriend beautiful because your dick wont suck itself

Being so sarcastic that you arent even sure if your joking

When girls pay for photoshoots and think they are models

Barking at bitches because you're trying to speak their language

Using bible verses as pickup lines.

Liking your mates comment in argument - just to show moral support.

Handing in your assignment after a hard day of removing hyperlinks

Grammar Nazi United (GNU)

Saying 'awkward' during awkward moments to make it even more awkward.

Making a big deal over nothing because you're a woman

Saying "lol", while showing about as much emotion as an oven mit.

The face you pull after a shot of vodka

Meeting someone who is also drunk and immediately becoming best friends