Poll ranks '50 Shades of Grey' and other erotic 'mommy porn' novels. By Daily Mail Reporter Published: 04:10 GMT, 20 August 2012 | Updated: 04:49 GMT, 20 August 2012 The explosion in popularity of erotic novel 'Fifty Shades of Grey' has brought on a host of bondage-themed 'mommy porn' books aimed at titillating bored middle-aged women. But, not every whip-wielding hunk can measure up to Christian Grey's sadistic lashings -- and not every writer is capable to crafting filthily arousing literary sex scenes. What's a frustrated housewife to do? Keri English, a book reviewer for IndieReader, has devised a solution: 'The Penis Poll.' Gold standard: With 40million copies sold worldwide, 'Fifty Shades of Grey' remains the erotic novel by which all others are judged -- and it fairs well in the 'Penis Poll' Ms English read seven of the top-selling erotic novels and rated them based on her their levels of steaminess and how deviously their characters employed bondage and sadomasochism.
The 'Penis Poll' also rates the level of bondage from zero to five whips. The Penis Poll: How the Best Selling Erotic Books Measure Up. It’s summer time and the weather is hot. And so, evidently, is this season’s current reading list. “Mommy porn”, in all its sticky glory, continues to appear week after week on no less than the New York Times Best Seller list, freaking out, we imagine, all those middle-aged editors in bow ties and grey trousers.
But the big news isn’t that–screw what their husband’s think–women are buying these titles in droves. No, it’s that all of these books (at least the ones featured in these pages) began life as indies. To celebrate this throbbingly incredible achievement, IndieReader has created the first-ever Penis Poll to help readers sort out the levels of sex, B/D (bondage and discipline) and S/M (sadism and masochism) in today’s hottest best sellers. Each title is rated from 0-5 Penises (from “married sex” to “I think I just saw Jesus”) and 0-5 Whips (from no B/D or S/M to bossed around to fuzzy handcuffs to “Could someone please call the cops)”. SCORE: 5 Whips, 5 Penises. Andrew O’Hagan reviews ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ by E.L. James · LRB 19 July 2012. When it comes to erotic writing, the more explicit it gets – the more heaving, the more panting – the more I want to laugh.
Erotic writing is said to have a noble pedigree: the goings-on in Ovid, the whipping in Sade, the bare-arsed wrestling in Lawrence, the garter-snapping in Anaïs Nin, the wife-swapping in Updike, the arcs of semen hither and yon. But it’s so much sexier when people don’t have sex on the page. Yet if you were a working-class boy in the 1970s, badly written books about fucking – quickly followed in the 1980s by badly written books about shopping-and-fucking – were the kinds of book your mother read, and so, to be fair, did your father, and to be even fairer, 400 million other people. When I was about ten I went to a jumble sale to buy books only to discover that everything that wasn’t a copy of Jaws was by Jackie Collins, Harold Robbins, Sidney Sheldon, or Danielle Steel.
Robbins and Collins liked a plush car with a smooth chassis. He’s The Dominant. THE ultimate guide to mommy porn: the definitive steamy reading list. Relationship expert Tracey Cox says erotic fiction is the ideal way to fuel your fantasies Story of O by Pauline Reage First published in 1954, Story of O has become the cult erotic bestseller. Before Reage revealed her identity – and the fact she had written the book to impress a lover – critics thought her book was written by a man because of its extreme themes. O, whose full name we never learn, is a beautiful photographer who voluntarily undertakes a life of submission at the hands of her lover.
Perennial bestseller. Erotica rating: 10 out of 10 Tracey says: ‘This is my favourite erotic read. In Too Deep by Portia Da Costa You’ve got male! Erotica rating: 7 out of 10 Tracey says: ‘Mousey women who are transformed into sirens is a common theme in female literature because it appeals to people who aren’t obviously sexual. Cassandra’s Conflict by Fredrica Alleyn This was the first ever novel from erotic fiction publisher Black Lace and was reprinted five times in its first year.
Fifty shades of bad writing. Fifty Shades of Grey Life’s too short – after a certain age anyway – to spend time reading things like the worldwide bestseller “Fifty Shades of Grey”, though it is, evidently, a work of fiction that is giving a great and easy pleasure to a great many people. In a witty review published in the London Review of Books, Andrew O’Hagan, formerly a Daily Telegraph columnist and author of a fine novel, “Be No More” as well as another less fine one about Marilyn Monroe’s little dog, tells us that the heroine of Fifty Shades “thinks like a scullery-maid in a Victorian wank mag“.
He may be right. Being ignorant of the heroine, scullery maids and Victorian wank mags, I can’t say but, again, it may be that this is just what the troops want. I gather from Mr O’Hagan that the girl is submissive and Mr Grey, the hero, is dominant. Well, there is always mileage in the combination. But cajoling “through gritted teeth”? Memo to Romantic novelists: gritted teeth and lovemaking don’t go together. ‘50 Shades of Grey’ Speed Read: 14 Naughtiest Bits.
Rembrandt and Kim Kardashian have something in common: Both showed off in images they created of themselves. A new book reveals the self-portrait’s fascinating and revealing history. As history would have it, we all have a little Kim Kardashian in us—even masters like Velasquez. While the famed Spanish artist behind Las Meninas may not have been posting pictures of his rotund derriere on Instagram, he, along with many other well-known artists, were driven to create and disseminate portraits of themselves. While we may never know why Kardashian does it, knowing why artists like Rembrandt and Courbet did so is at the heart of art historian James Hall’s book, The Self-Portrait: A Cultural History. Self-portraits today are consumed by general audiences often with the cult of the artist in mind—that they are a window into a true genius or tormented soul, à la Munch or Van Gogh, as well as promotional. Hall highlights the best from this era. There is a palpable humility and subservience in St.
Speed Read: 12 Naughty Bits From ‘50 Shades Darker’ Food as foreplay, sex on a pool table, and more NSFW passages from the second installment of E.L. James’s ‘Grey’ series. The media frenzy over 50 Shades of Grey’s sadomasochistic antics and hackneyed narrative has subsided, but the trilogy continues to top bestseller lists and bedside tables. On Sunday, more than 500 women and men of all ages lined up to meet the author of the erotic trilogy, who had arrived in Miami for her U.S. book tour.
If the mixed crowd at E.L. The Cinderella storyline and spanking continues in 50 Shades Darker, but Christian Grey the sadist has softened considerably in the five days since Anastasia ran away from his “Red Room of Pain” at the end of the first book. Deprived of the racier BDSM scenes, the reader learns more about Christian’s dark past (hence the book’s title): his crack-whore mother; the “Mrs. Anastasia’s still scared of Christian’s ‘Red Room of Pain,’ but she wants his ‘kinky fuckery.’
“‘Kinky fuckery?’” “ ‘I don’t’ care if you hit or miss baby. 'Fifty Shades Freed': 11 Naughty Bits From the E.L. James Novel. For five long and very strange years, death haunted tiny Dryden, NY, a town near the Finger Lakes where a plague of car accidents, suicides, and even grisly murders involving two popular cheerleaders just kept mounting up. At the end of Fargo, Frances McDormand’s police chief, Marge Gunderson, captures the psycho played by Peter Stormare.
He’s in the backseat of her police cruiser and she talks to him as she drives. We see that she cannot fathom the evil she’s just seen. “And here ya are,” she says, “and it’s a beautiful day. Well, I just don’t understand it.” It’s as true a piece of acting as you’ll find—Marge really doesn’t comprehend a certain kind of human darkness.
I am not surprised by violence or horror but still sometimes find myself struck, not unlike Marge, in a kind of a daze, unable to wrap my head around it. Why do horrible things happen? In the meantime, dig into “The Cheerleaders.” The Cheerleaders by E. Welcome to Dryden. In the summer of ’96, many bonfires are built.