Advice for Rope Tops and Bottoms. After this second failing I realized there’s a lot of talk about how to tie, safety, design, preparing physically for going into ropes, preparing a space for it, etc, but not a lot of talk about caring for the actual relationship between rope top and rope bottom.
It isn’t necessary that the rope top/bottom relationship is a romantic one to need these important elements addressed. Many rope tops simply don’t know that being a rope bottom is very vulnerable and it pays to address caring for this aspect beyond just the time you are together, something they often can’t know because they themselves have never been in rope in this way. BDSM: over stepping limits and rape. How to Approach a Dominant You Are Interested In. Photo by O5com (CC BY 2.0) Consider for a moment that there is a Dominant that you’ve had your eye on for awhile but you think that s/he may not even know you exist.
Do you just wait and hope that they will discover you or do you get the nerve to talk to them? Several of the submissives I’ve talked to recently have an issue approaching Dominants for one reason or another but the key to all of them is that they are afraid they won’t seem submissive if they are the pursuer instead of the pursued. What Makes A Good Sub? I've been asked this question numerous times.
The truth- you ask 100 people, you will get 100 different answers. A lot of it depends on your individual relationship and personality. The caring submissive. Submissive Body Language. Techniques > Using Body Language > Submissive Body Language Body positions | Gestures | See also A significant cluster of body movements is used to signal fear and readiness to submit.
This is common in animals, where fighting (that could terminally harm each animal) is avoided by displays of aggression or submission. Body positions The body in fearful stances is generally closed, and may also include additional aspects. Regaining Submissive Mind-Space Through Ritual. Many submissives have jobs where they are managers, business owners, or in charge in some way or another.
Sometimes it can be difficult to re-enter your submissive head-space at the end of a busy work day. A sub can use rituals in order to help her achieve the right mind-apace, leaving the outside world behind and re-gaining the D/s world. Using Rituals. BDSM 101 - a New Submissive's Guide to Subspace. This article will discuss subspace.
Yes, newbie sub, there is such a thing as subspace and no; you are not deficient because you have never experienced it. Some newbies are frightened of this state of mind as well, because it truly signals complete handover of control. It is not to be feared and I will show you why. It is a spiritual experience for many and one that becomes easier and easier to reach as your level of experience grows. Thinking Kink: Is Vanilla Sex Boring? Who Gets to Decide? "Those of us who have different ... notions of eroticism and sensuality are simply dismissed.
The pejorative word [being] 'vanilla,' which is ironically, one of the most sensual aromas. " – Andrea Dworkin. "I wish [BDSM folks] would stop referring to me as 'vanilla.' Thinking Kink: Safewords. I always get a little bit cautious when I here talk of safewords as though they must be a hard and fast rule. Granted, I'm in one of those longterm Master/slave relationships that are excepted from this "rule", but the part of it that bothers me is the tendency to say that only a certain kind of kink is acceptable, which this kind of thought can lead to. Simply put, for some people "lack of consent" is their fetish. Thinking Kink: Swinging Both Ways (Christian Grey Included) Christian Grey is not actually a Dominant.
Yes, you read that right. No, not because the "baddie" of 50 Shades of Grey is actually kind of a big softie and not really that scary.