5 Artistic Geniuses Who Only Became Great After Selling Out. There's nothing sadder than when artists become "sellouts," losing all of their edge to make some kind of family-friendly garbage.
Or at least that's the way we usually hear it. The truth is, though, that some of the greatest works of music, film and art have happened only because the artist agreed to compromise in the name of success. Just ask... 8 Amazon Products With Impressively Sarcastic Reviews: Pt. 2. As we learned a few months ago, Amazon.com is apparently a hidden treasure trove of aspiring comedy writers.
Digging up ridiculous products and writing amazingly sarcastic reviews for them has become the Internet's favorite pastime. So let us salute more of these works of unappreciated genius. Male Testicular Exam Model Anatomy. If Every Children's Game Was Turned Into A Movie. 5 Lovable Animals You Didn't Know Are Secretly Terrifying. If there’s two things Cracked is all about, it’s fucked up animals and dongs.
And since they won’t let me write “The 7 Most Fucked Up Animal Dongs,” (Editor's Note: Only because it's been written already) I had to settle for focusing on just the animal stuff. So hey, here you go: Here’s a bunch of adorable animals that will probably nonetheless scar you for life. Let's skip the pleasantries and get right down to hyperventilating and swearing at nature, shall we?
6 Disgusting Ways Animals Can Improve Your Health. By and large, nature is disgusting.
It's chock full of bugs and hobos and other things that roll in feces. But amidst that slurry of nasty, science has been finding a number of medical breakthroughs. Nauseating, repulsive medical breakthroughs. The 5 Most Horrifying Bugs in the World. There are about 10,000,000,000,000,000,000 insects on earth at any given moment.
Seriously, that's a real number. For every one of us, there are 1.5 billion bugs. But some of them are so horrifying, just one is too many. Here are five you want to avoid at all costs. Japanese Giant Hornet (vespa mandarinia japonica) From: Japan, obviously. 15 Retarded Dungeons and Dragons Monsters. Not all of us have had the pleasure sitting down with a bag of oddly-shaped dice and playing Dungeons & Dragons, and the ones who have tend not to admit it.
The 6 Creepiest Places on Earth. It doesn't matter whether or not you believe in ghosts, there are some places in which none of us would want to spend a night.
These places have well earned their reputations as being so creepy, tragic or mysterious (or all three) that they definitely qualify as "haunted. " The 5 Most Popular Safety Laws (That Don't Work) Really, is it ever possible to be too safe?
Especially when it's our children at stake? Actually, yes. Especially when the rule or law intended to make us safe is so poorly thought-out that it either does nothing but suck up public money, or creates a ripple effect of unintended side effects. Arnold Schwarzenegger. This is a page about the life and work of Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Please imagine Arnold reading the page to you for maximum comedic impact. 22335.jpg (550×413) 5 Ways Stores Use Science to Trick You Into Buying Crap. A big chunk of the world economy runs on human weakness.
Peer pressure, vanity, insecurity, the fact that we just cannot resist the sight of melted cheese -- all of these will make us fork over our cash. And really, we're fine with that. But what you may not know is that there are some other, much weirder scientific principles that factor into what you buy. You might not know about them, but the people selling you things sure as hell do. You Move in Predictable Patterns You step in the front door of your nearest chain grocery store. 5 Things You Use Every Day That Are Getting Awesome Upgrades. Show a time traveler from 1950 your iPhone and he'll probably crap his pants.
That little device would seem to be beyond magic. Show that same guy your bathroom and he'll be right at home. Bathrooms have barely changed. Same with T-shirts and countless other everyday items that have stopped innovating even though they're far from perfect. The 15 Most Shameless Fake Photos Ever Passed Off as Real. If It Has a Black or White Person In It Do you feel like the presence/absence of a black person in a photograph immediately makes it racist? Well don't worry, it just means that you're white and middle-class and probably suffer from the same racial guilt, awkwardness and possible unconscious prejudices as the picture editors of the below publications. 6. Black Guy Photoshopped In In the summer of 2000, in a small room in the University of Wisconsin, the editors of the fall admissions brochure were frantically searching through every single photo ever taken on campus, desperately trying to find photographic evidence that black people went to their school.
Coming to terms with the fact that the black two percent of their student body were also afraid of cameras, they fired up Microsoft Paint and set out to integrate the university by circling a black man with a magnetic lasso, cutting of his head and dropping it in amongst a group of celebrating white people. 5 Things TV Writers Apparently Believe About Smart People. Ever since House showed up on our televisions in 2004, the networks decided you couldn't have a drama without an eccentric genius in the mix. So, now you have geniuses solving mysteries using math (Numb3rs), novel writing (Castle, Bones), fake psychic powers (the Mentalist, Psych) and an ability to detect lies that borders on mind reading (Lie to Me). Among others. The key here is the characters aren't just really smart, they're incredible and borderline supernatural scientific ubermenschen who are better at their jobs than anyone has ever been at anything.
You think Einstein was good at physics? If he'd been on TV in 2011, he would have actually invented faster-than-light travel by the age of 25. But what, exactly, has this popular breed of shows been teaching us? Only Know Six Languages By Age 30? DIY: Do It Yourself. D.I.Y. stands for Do It Yourself, Screw Half of It Totally, Buy Really Inexpensive Circular-saw, Kill Self (the S.H.I.T.B.R.I.C.K.S is silent.
Even though it's most often screamed at the top of your lungs.) 6 Famous Movies With Mind-Blowing Hidden Meanings. Most of us are familiar with movie metaphors. We all know that the Narnia movies are full of Christian allegories, that Alien is bursting with rape symbolism, and so on. But it's easy to forget that almost every movie has some kind of subtext. The 9 Most Racist Disney Characters. These old Disney movies are a little bit like your aging Uncle Frank. Honestly, he means well when he points out that Will Smith is "well-spoken.
" It's just that he, like the assemblage of clips below, dates from a time when people were unfairly characterized by their ethnic background (the acceptable methods are, of course, religion, geography, sexual preference and income). The Merchant from Aladdin The opening musical sequence from the hugely popular 1992 animated film had to be edited due to protest from Arab-American groups for saying about the Middle East what most of us were merely thinking. Lesson Learned: The Middle East is a barren wasteland where the justice system runs on a clear and simple limb-removal policy. 6 Reasons Kittens Suck (Learned While Raising Them) The Internet is heavily under the influence of the powerful pro-kitten lobby, but I need you to listen to the truth: kittens are terrible and will ruin your life. The Last Airbender Movie. 5 Popular Zombie Survival Tactics (That Will Get You Killed)
Everybody has a zombie contingency plan. A unique and ingenious stratagem they've spent hours contemplating that ensures they and their loved ones will stay alive in the event of a zombie apocalypse. The only problem?