Cat versus human. Meowmania. That Time I Tried On Spanx & Almost Called 911. I am shopping in a department store. WITHOUT kids. I’m on a quest for a sun hat. I try on hats. There is a mirror on the end of the display aisle. I select a hat and walk over to the mirror. I try on a red one that makes me feel fabulous. In the mirror, I get a glimpse of the display behind me. I turn to look at it: It is Spanx®. Oh, I’ve heard of it. So it is settled. I gingerly fondle the tank tops that promise to transform me into something way better than I currently am.
I picture the new me and it truly is fabulous. Hourglass here I come. I head to the dressing room and shove myself into it. After a short struggle I manage to pull it down over my breasts (had to shoehorn them one by one – that is the secret trick) and I finish putting it on. It is time! I look in the mirror: It successfully turned my torso into a sausage with a too-tight casing. In other words, no. Sigh, I can’t even wear Spanx®. I start to take it off: Which is even more difficult than getting it on. Way more difficult. Why Snow White has become a source of comic relief... - LIFE TBH. 2837. Bitter About Glitter. Shake Yer Blues Away. A Period of Time. Zombies Everywhere: Tat-Tuesday: Fingers. Picture Diary. If my brain were an imaginary friend. How to Suck at Facebook. All artwork and content on this site is Copyright © 2015 Matthew Inman.
Please don't steal. TheOatmeal.com was lovingly built using CakePHP All artwork and content on this site is Copyright © 2015 Matthew Inman. Please don't steal. TheOatmeal.com was lovingly built using CakePHP. Two Lumps.