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Texts from last night. The Official Real”ad”tor Awards. My First Time. Henryalford.com. Daily Shite - The best shite served daily! Very Demotivational - The Demotivational Posters Blog. Odd News | newslite.tv. QDB: Quote Database Home. The Problem with Young People Today Is… 309. Easy Solutions #1 So, you're in love with one of your friends, but she has a boyfriend and probably wouldn't have sex with you anyway. What you will need: 1 x knife, 1 x ring, access to a sunbed, the ability to grow a beard. Step One: Place the ring on your wedding finger and avoid contact with your friend for a month. Step Two: Stop shaving and use the sunbed to gain a tan. Step Three: After a month when your beard is full and your tan is noticeable, remove the ring from your finger. Step Four: Remove all your clothes and break into your friend's house. Step Five: Use the knife to cut your body in various places. Step Six: Enter your friend's bedroom and lie face down on the floor.
Step Seven: When she enters the room pretend to be unconscious. Step Eight: When she asks you what's happened you should ignore her questions. Step Ten: If your friend is a curious person she will probably ask 'What worked? ' Step Twelve: Raise your left hand to your face. Aziz is Bored. TOUR UPDATE: Added more shows to meet demand in Austin, SF, Chicago, NOLA, Minneapolis, Charleston, Seattle, Bakersfield, Milwaukee. Buy tickets now at tour.azizansari.com. If you don’t see your city, sign up to be notified when we add it on the site. Here’s full list of shows on sale now: MARCH 7 - 7pm - South Bend, IN - Morris Performing Arts Center MARCH 13 - 7pm - Charleston, SC - Charleston Music Hall MARCH 13 - 10pm - Charleston, SC - Charleston Music Hall MARCH 14 - 730pm - Atlanta, GA - Fox Theater MARCH 16 - 10pm - Saint Petersberg, FL - The Mahaffey Theater MARCH 26 - 7pm - Portland, OR - Keller Auditorium MARCH 27 - 7pm - Eugene, OR - Hult Center for the Performing Arts MARCH 31 - 7pm - Seattle, WA - Moore Theatre APRIL 3 - 10pm - San Francisco, CA - Davies Symphony Hall APRIL 5 - 7pm - Bakersfield, CA - Fox Theatre APRIL 5 - 10pm - Bakersfield, CA - Fox Theatre APRIL 6 - 7pm - Santa Barbara, CA - Arlington Theatre APRIL 19 - 930pm - Austin, TX - Bass Hall APRIL 24 - 730pm - St.
Jackassletters.com. Mike Birbiglia’s Secret Public Journal. March 17, 2014 My 2014 Tour Heads to New Orleans, Houston, Austin & Mesa! I’ve just completed week six of the Thank God for Jokes tour and am heading into Week, wait for it…SEVEN. It’s been super fun and I want to thank everyone for coming out in Wisconsin, Michigan, Minnesota, Utah, North Dakota and all those other states.
It’s by far the most people who have ever come out to one of my tours and it has been, dare I say it, the funniest show I’ve ever toured with. These reviewers think so here and here. but don’t read those if you don’t want any jokes spoiled for you. This week I’ve got a tour bus and a Joe Bags and I’m heading to Columbus, where I recorded the My Secret Public Journal Live!
And there’s more to come after that, so check out out all of my upcoming cities. Take note, HOUSTON. Remember how I haven’t visited in 6 years and you always complain about it on Facebook? How about you, CHARLESTON? You think you’re so cool? How about you, CHARLOTTESVILLE? All my love, Mike Dear Journal, Crummy Church Signs. I'M JUST A BAD BOY, A FAKE MEMOIR. El Guapo in DC. Overheard Everywhere. Booksthatmakeyoudumb. Sexual Moments in Video Game History. Video Games and Sex. In recent years, it seems like the two have been going together like peanut butter and jelly. Grape jelly. With recent titles such as "Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball" and "BMX XXX", it's obvious that sex sells ... especially to horny little gamer geeks. Back in the day, however, this was not quite the case. Well, at least not intentionally... most of the time. In the golden age of video games, there wasn't a whole lot of blatant sexual stuff in games.
The Brunching Shuttlecocks. The Best Page In The Universe. 12th Grade Reading Test. Wired 14.08: Be an Expert on Anything. By Stephen ColbertPage 1 of 1 Stephen Colbert won't be taking the advice offered in this guide. He has dedicated his career to passing himself off as an expert on anything. Colbert honed this skill on The Daily Show With Jon Stewart, where he served as an analyst on everything from the Middle East to presidential gastronomy before gaining the title Senior Expert News Correspondent. He is a specialist in improv comedy, which he says "is partly about making people believe you know everything. " On Comedy Central's hit show The Colbert Report, he goes beyond expertise into the arena of what he calls the anti-expert. "My show is an exercise in willfully ignorant, emotionally based, non-intellectual, -incurious passion about things. For instance, what gives Britannica the right to tell me that the Panama Canal was built in 1914?
Story Tools Story Images Click thumbnails for full-size image: - John Hockenberry PICK A FIELD THAT CAN'T BE VERIFIED. CHOOSE A SUBJECT THAT'S ACTUALLY SECRET. A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the b... Funny McDonald's Job Application. Murphy Laws Site - The origin and laws of Murphy in one place.