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best-of-craigslist
April 24; 2:04 AM: Suspicious Conditions 89000 block, Hill Rd. Complainant has advised of drugs & disputes at house down the street was told if she saw a certain vehicle at the house to call. April 26: 10:15 PM: Shots Fired 87000 block, Cedar Flat Rd. Caller reports 2 shots were fired from a blue low rider Chevy pickup with Wisconsin plates. Caller was unable to see the occupants of the vehicle. Prior to that, subjects were moving in the yard with a flashlight.
Reflections Sheriff's Report
The Official Real”ad”tor Awards
If there is anything that I hope you can take away from this blog, it’s this: if your name is Steve, you’re done. As in, screwed, washed up, finished. But wait Steve, you’re not alone. In fact, if your name is Ted, Mary, Crawford, Joboo, Jimbo, Jane, Brian, T-bone, Jason … or whatever — you’re toast. Just pack up your pencils, aluminum signs and mortgage calculator and call it a day.
henryalford.com
By Henry Alford • November 19th, 2011 • So, the two big pre-publication reviews that a book is likely to get are those from Publisher’s Weekly and Kirkus Reviews. I’ve just received a review from the latter, for my book about manners that will come out in January. The funny thing about Kirkus reviews is that they always close with a single sentence, pulled out from the preceding paragraph, that is what I call the blammo sentence. Meaning that, if the preceding 300 word-long review is marked by simmering disappointment, then the blammo sentence will be an outright dismissal, a cannon volley, a thunderclap. So you can imagine my relief when, after a couple of hundred words bearing phrases like “highly idiosyncratic” and “highly subjective”, the blammo sentence below was actually a nice blammo—a dollop of whipped cream, a bit of tongue.
This suicidal pedestrian trying to lie down in front of an oncoming car in a misguided attempt to snuff it. Unfortunately for the guy trying to kick the bucket, he lies down in the road too early and the driver decides that the man can’t go on the cart yet, gets out of the car and gives the bloke a good hiding. Did he deserve to be beaten like that? Did you think the driver possible knocked some sense into the guy? Coldplay’s ultra-mellow of the Beastie Boys classic “Fight For Your Right”, recorded live at the at the Hollywood Bowl in tribute to the late great Adam Yauch.
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British adults will misplace an incredible 198,743 items in their lifetime, it has been revealed. Research revealed the average Brit will lose up to NINE items every day, some briefly, with car keys, house keys, mobile phones and paperwork vanishing most regularly. The findings emerged in a study of 3,000 adults, which also revealed ten minutes a day is spent searching for items such as sunglasses, wallets and phones. Furthermore the study found men are far worse at losing things than women – with a third of wives claiming their husband regularly misplaces household items. Nikki Sellers, of esure, which conducted the research, said: "Most Brits blame their bad luck or a hectic lifestyle for constantly misplacing items or even losing them completely.
Odd News | newslite.tv
#161990 ( 29 /91 ) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag The thing about porn is that a) there is a lot of it and b) it isn't going to go away or stop. Do you really need to store a lot of it for archival purposes? It's kinda like getting horny for a girl you used to fuck, and being able to have her nake in front of you instantaneously. And when you're done, she goes the fuck away. Oh jesus..
QDB: Quote Database Home
Picking up where I left off before Christmas and proving once again that an old man can flog a theme within an inch of its life – some suggestions that would vastly improve our quality of life in 2012. A Customer Service Renaissance It used to be that if your television broke down you could call up the CEO of Magnavox directly and 3 days later a man in a smart blazer and jaunty bowtie would show up at your door with a replacement, an apology and a firm handshake.
The Problem with Young People Today Is…
Step Seven: When she enters the room pretend to be unconscious. Allow her to turn you over and try to wake you for a few seconds before you open your eyes. The injuries to your body will serve as a distraction to your nakedness. She will be more concerned about your wellbeing instead of fearing the naked man in her room.
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jackassletters.com
I regret to inform you I will be unable to attend your “Mike the Headless Chicken” festival in 2012. My friend Anthony Imperioli will also be unable to make it. We were looking forward to this festival and both believe if we’d been given more advanced notice we might have been able to attend. My friend Anthony would like pointers on creating his own headless chicken. He’s got the time and the chickens, so if you have anything I should pass along I will be sure to do so.
Mike Birbiglia’s Secret Public Journal
Dear Journal, I’m sitting on a flight from California to Chicago. Just went through the “that’s gotta be way too much radiation” machine at security. You’ve got that friendly choice at the airport these days of “so much radiation your future children will be mutants” or “We’re gonna go ahead and grab your wife’s boobs.” So while I opted for teenage mutant ninja children , I watched as the guard felt my wife up, and I couldn’t help but think, “I don’t think I’m even allowed to do that.”I do not write to you today with something good to say. In fact, of late, there have been tears slowly dropping and clinging to my mustache. My beautiful mustache that is so lustrous in the spring is now damp with Latino sadness. And trust me, Guatemalan tears are often cultivated by gypsies to keep raccoons away, so this is no good. Spring is my favorite time in DC.
El Guapo in DC
Female Latin professor, explaining difference between active and passive verbs : You know what the best verb for this is? "Fuck." There is a big difference between fucking and being fucked. Also, "to stab" or "to be stabbed."