Everyday blues. Photos du journal - Ruined My Week blog. The Pessimist: "The Return of Bittersweets!" Don’t look now (seriously), but Valentine’s Day is just a little more than three weeks away! You probably haven’t noticed, unless you have been in a grocery store at any point in the last month, and been forced to walk through an aisle of heart-shaped boxes and oversized greeting cards depicting naked babies with bows and arrows (which is clearly a safety risk but which we seem to have adopted, without question, as a symbol for romantic love, which is, when you think about it, super weird). But we digress! And we’ve been told that we’re not being paid for digression anymore (which is a shame, because it’s our only real talent). The point is: the approach of V-Day means one thing here at Despair, and that’s The Return of Bittersweets®! That’s right: it’s the heart-shaped candies you know and love (well, tolerate), but with sayings you can actually relate to.
And so many more! Quantities are limited (for real!) That’s all for now! (You can’t.) 11 Types Of Songs Drunk People Like To Sing. 1. Angsty girl rock jams See: “Stay” by Lisa Loeb, “Criminal” by Fiona Apple, “Celebrity Skin” by Hole, “Ironic” by Alanis Morrisette, “Don’t Speak” by No Doubt, “Foolish Games” by Jewel When we get drunk, we all become very sad, lonely women and our inner Liz Lemon comes out. Suddenly, we are that episode where Liz Lemon enjoys a glass of wine on a treadmill and then drunk dials a co-op board, while singing Alanis Morrisette. We’re ladies, we have lady parts, we have feelings, and goddamn it, we want to sing about them. 2. 80’s hair metal and rock anthems See: “More Than a Feeling” by Boston, “Sister Christian” by Night Ranger, “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey, “Sweet Child of Mine” by Guns ‘n Roses “Don’t Stop Believing” is the official national anthem of inebriated people everywhere, and the year the White Sox won the series in Chicago, you couldn’t trip over a drunk person without hearing it. 3.
See: “Rolling in the Deep” by Adele, “Fallin” by Alicia Keys, “I Believe I Can Fly” by R. What It Looks Like When Siri Doesn't Believe You Could Possibly Have Valentine's Day Plans. What it looks like when Siri doesn't believe you could possibly have Valentine's Day plans. posted 02/14/2014 You might be able to put up a good front for friends and coworkers, but there's no hiding how alone you are from Siri. She knows how quiet your phone has been. She knows your late-night texts never get a response. She can see how much time you spend on your ex's Facebook page.
So as Valentine's Day approaches, if you try to make Siri believe you have more going on than you really do, or if you (gasp!) Actually have someone to spend the evening with, these are the kinds of conversation you can expect to have. Uplifting Yo Mama Jokes Funny. Photos du journal - That's What She Said. Kids in the Hall: Head Crusher. Benedict Cumberbatch, George Clooney And Other Celebs Read Out Mean Tweets About Themselves.