5 Amazing Buildings of the Future (And How They'll Kill You) Every couple of months you hear about some new, fantastic space-age construction project they're building somewhere in the world.
Towers that stretch a mile into the sky, or rest under the sea. Entire cities built into massive skyscrapers. You can't help but gasp in awe. And by "awe" we mean pants-shitting horror. If this is the future, then the future is filled with terrible, terrible ideas. 5 Real Life Soldiers Who Make Rambo Look Like a Pussy. We all understand that action movies are cheesy escapism.
After all, could one commando really take out a whole compound full of bad guys? Actually, yes. It turns out the history books are full of stories of soldiers doing things so badass they'd hesitate to put them into a film for fear of killing the realism. 5 Shockingly Powerful Kids Who Make You Look Like a Coward. 6 New Weapons That You Literally Cannot Hide From. Wars have been won and lost purely on the ability of one side to hide really well.
Even a superior enemy can't take you out if they can't find you. Give ancient Rome barbarian-seeking arrows, and we'd still be wearing sandals to the bath house to wipe ourselves with sticks. OK, bad example. Finally, in the 21st century, technology is catching up to the problem with weapons that almost seem like cheating. 6 New Weapons That Are Making War Look Like a Cartoon. Let's face it: If you told Genghis Khan or Alexander the Great that current wars are fought using giant metallic birds that poop explosives all over people, they'd think you were shitting them.
Then they'd probably cut your face off and feed it to their dogs, just because. Likewise, when we see the prototypes that weapons designers are testing, we realize the battlefield of the future will be utterly insane. So imagine you're on the battlefield of the future. You're holed up inside a bombed-out building, your future-rifle aimed out a busted window. The door behind you is closed and braced securely. The 6 Most Insane Underdog Stories in the History of Battle. As much as we'd like to believe what Braveheart and Return of the Jedi have told us, real-world battles are rarely won by the ragtag team of underdogs.
Tanks beat horses, guns beat spears. Yet, as we've found again and again here at Cracked, often history turns out to be more awesome than fiction. The Battle of Morgarten. 5 Projects You Won't Believe the US Government Is Working On. The mad inventor from the James Bond movies, Q, is real.
Only there are lots of him, and they have a lot more money at their disposal. 5 Fictional Stories You Were Taught in History Class. Forget about Stephanie Meyer or JK Rowling or Stephen King--at the end of the day, they just write stories and make billions of dollars. No, the writers who really deserve a pat on the back are the ones who wrote completely fictional stories that, over time, were remembered as actual history. In fact, we bet in history class some of you were taught about... Paul Revere's Midnight Ride The Legend: In Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's poem The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere, little children are told a fantastic story of patriotism and late night horse riding. ...or arm themselves, for you non-Wire fans.
The 5 Most Ridiculous Lies Ever Published as Non-Fiction. So you've got an idea for a novel.
Big deal, right? The 5 Most Ridiculous Lies You Were Taught In History Class. High school was hard enough, what with all the video games and boobies to distract us from our homework.
What makes it even harder is having to unlearn all of the stuff they taught us in elementary school that turned out to be utter bullshit. To this day you can even hear some adults repeating these "amazing" historical tales that, years ago, somebody just pulled out of their ass: Columbus Discovered the Earth is Round The story we heard: In 1492, an Italian ponce by the name of Christopher Columbus won his long-standing feud with the monarchy and the Catholic church to get funding for a voyage to East Asia. 6 Lies About the Human Body You Learned in Kindergarten. When we reach the age of 2, we start to have a few questions about our bodies.
At first they're simple. "Will that toy fit into the wet hole in the middle of my face? " But as we mature, the questions become more complex and too numerous for any reasonable human being to answer. It's no coincidence that around this time, our parents ship us off to school, where someone is paid to give us answers. Unfortunately, many of the answers you get there are lies that seem specifically designed to make the world around you seem boring. You Only Have Five Senses. 8 Scenes That Prove Hollywood Doesn't Get Technology. As we have previously mentioned, hilarious things happen when writers try to write characters who are smarter than themselves.
For instance, I don't doubt that some research goes into writing the medical jargon on House, but we all know that at some point they fake it. And that's fine, because what percentage of the audience is composed of not only doctors, but genius doctors? It's probably not even half. But that's why it's so baffling when Hollywood fucks up every scene involving computers or video games. They not only get everything wrong, but give us the most insulting bullshit imaginable on details it would have taken two minutes to Google.
(Note: Credit goes to the tech savvy gang at the NeoGAF forums for hunting down many of these clips, and countless others). NCIS -- Two People Sharing a Keyboard Let's assume you know absolutely nothing about computers. 6 Subtle Ways The News Media Disguises Bullshit As Fact. As anybody who has ever wistfully imagined Keith Olbermann and Bill O'Reilly fighting to the death over a pit of lava knows, most media outlets are biased. 5 Things The Media Loves Pretending Are News. Reporting the news is really hard. We've seen those poor guys standing in the hurricanes, trying to hold on to their microphone while debris flies by. And it's a good thing we have them; blogs and Twitter are nice, but to find out what's really going on in the world, at some point you need good old-fashioned journalism. So can you blame a news outlet for using shortcuts and falling into the same old mistakes and cliches over and over again, just to fill space?
Yes, yes we can. 5 Reasons Life Actually Does Get Better. In the last year you've probably heard "It gets better" used as a motto to encourage gay teens who've been the victims of bullying. This is not a rebuttal of that, because I am not an asshole. What I do want to do is expand that message to everyone that age, whether you have a bully problem or not. I figure it's time, as I tend to write about dark and often brutally depressing subjects, like how I was a smoldering drunk for over half of my life and how much my parents sucked at being parents.