8 Celebrities You Didn't Know Were Geeks. As any nerd can tell you, being smarter than everyone else has a price.
Poor social skills, being grossly over or under weight, being terrible at sports. Skin problems, probably bad eyesight ... you get the idea. Yet, there is a whole class of nerds who break that universal rule, who somehow wind up smarter than us, yet also, are so good at being tough or being hot that they've got legions of adoring fans. Maybe they're just lucky, or maybe they turned their backs on God and sought solace in the infernal embrace of a giving demonic patron. The fact is, it is not fair that these people exist and we suggest you take it up with your local clergy.
The 5 Most Baffling Sex Scenes in the History of Fanfiction. When traveling in the vast, anonymous, lawless expanse known as the Internet, it's a given that you're going to run into some weird shit.
Maybe none of it is weirder than the world of erotic fanfiction. This is where fans lovingly write up tales of, say, Legolas and Gimli going at it, in excruciating detail. But dig deeper and you find stories featuring such random matchups of character that it'll send your mind, and boner, reeling: 5 Movie Fan Theories That Make More Sense Than the Movie. At some point, we've all seen the finale of a TV show or movie and thought, "I could have written a better ending than that.
" (We're still bitter about 24 not ending with Jack Bauer exploding from all the accumulated urine in his body, like our write-in campaign suggested.) That's why there is a thriving culture of fan theories that flood the Internet in anticipation of every show, movie or book. Though these theories turn out to be wrong approximately 100% of the time, we like to point out the ones that really do seem to improve on what the actual writers came up with. Tell us the below movies or series wouldn't be improved if it turned out...
(To watch Cracked improve Star Wars, click here.) In the world of Harry Potter, Neville Longbottom is the resident doofus. Also to make Harry Potter look like less of a dork in comparison. The Awesome Fan Theory: Basically, that Harry Potter dude was just a distraction. The 7 Biggest Dick Moves in the History of Online Gaming. Tens of millions of adults spend all their free time in fictional worlds that are full of more tedious work and assholes than most real-life jobs.
Combining Internet anonymity with people who have absurd amounts of free time, massive multiplayer online role-playing Gamers (MMORPG)are a better guarantee of asshole-ry than a digestive system, and yield uglier results. But there are some spectacular douche bags who have put more work into screwing with strangers than should be humanly possible.
The 6 Most Important Things Humanity Just Plain Forgot. If you could draw a graph showing the growth of mankind's knowledge and technology, you'd think it would look like a staircase, steadily edging upward year after year as we get a little bit smarter than our ancestors.
It's not true, though. Some of the most amazing things ever discovered wound up lost or forgotten for centuries, for utterly ridiculous reasons. Why Batman Is Secretly Terrible for Gotham. The 6 Most Childish Things Ever Done in Congress. As an institution, you can't get much less respect from the public than the U.S.
Congress does. Ask people why and they'll talk about under-the-table deals, lobbyists and in general not doing a whole lot to fix everyday problems of the working man. 6 Things You Won’t Believe Got Banned By Modern Governments. As much as we love thinking of ourselves as the rebellious kids fighting against an oppressive society run by unreasonable old men, the truth is that most things that are illegal are illegal for a reason.
Society just doesn't enjoy your public urination as much as you do. But sometimes, the grownups get it wrong. Hilariously wrong, in fact. Good old 1998. El Nino dominated the news, Microsoft was sweating the antitrust case, and you could still put a gallon of gas in your car for about a buck and a quarter. Via canceledmodillionKah! We're talking about Furbies, some kind of nightmarish mechanical rabbit with a beak that quickly became the must-have toy for Christmas in 1998 and 1999. Via Chris FritzBecause Fridays are only "Bring your Cabbage Patch Kid into Work Day. " Via asmo23The NSA's Furby, after strip searches and shouting "reveal your secrets robot!
" What the NSA failed to realize is that Furbies didn't actually develop or learn anything at all. Greece Bans All Video Games. The 7 Most Terrifyingly Huge Things in the History of Nature. We may be the undisputed kings of the food chain, but when it comes to being pant-soilingly huge, we come up a bit short.
We can hang out with tiny dogs and house cats until we feel like the T-Rex of our home -- but in the back of our mind, we know. The 4 Most Important Things to Know as a Gamer Parent. The exact moment I knew I was a gamer parent -- that is, a gamer who happens to have kids, and not just the parent of kids who play games -- was when I heard my nine year-old son Drew proclaim, "They won't let you kill kids in this game?
That's a bunch of bullcrap," and immediately realized I was going to have to have a conversation with him about it. He was playing Fable II. One of my games. "Father, let us murder virtual children... together. " The 5 Most Embarrassing Failures in the History of Terrorism. Terrorism isn't exactly rocket science.
The 6 Most Ill-Conceived Weapons Ever Built. Thousands of new weapons are designed every year, and chances are most of them are profoundly stupid. That's OK, though, because there are people whose entire job is to make sure the ridiculous weapons don't get built. However, every once in a while someone manages to sneak one past the reality checkers, and right onto the production line. 7 Legendary Acts of Petty Revenge. Everyone gets pissed off sometimes. The 5 Least Romantic Keys to a Happy Relationship. Any old talk show psychologist can give you the business about date nights and fetish gear to keep the spark alive. That's Talk Show Psychologist Tips For Romance 101. But it takes a ballsy renegade to have the guts to let you know that saving a relationship might be about imagining the most romantic solutions possible -- then doing the opposite.
7 Bullshit Police Myths Everyone Believes (Thanks to Movies) Hollywood has never been afraid to sacrifice realism for the sake of an entertaining story. And since pretty much every movie or TV show features the police in some way, we as an audience get fed a lot of total horseshit about how the law works and how cops operate in the USA. 6 Insane Discoveries That Science Can't Explain. We like to feel superior to the people who lived centuries ago, what with their shitty mud huts and curing colds by drilling a hole in their skulls. But we have to give them credit: They left behind some artifacts that have left the smartest of modern scientists scratching their heads.
For instance, you have the following enigmas that we believe were created for no other purpose than to fuck with future generations. The Voynich Manuscript The Mystery: The Voynich manuscript is an ancient book that has thwarted all attempts at deciphering its contents. It appears to be a real language--just one that nobody has seen before. Translation: "...and when you get her to put the tennis racket in her mouth, have her stand in a fountain for a while.
There is not even a consensus on who wrote it, or even when it was written. 6 Eerily Specific World Events Predicted by Comics. The 5 Most Terrifying Civilizations In The History of the World. They say that those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it, so pay attention for Christ's sake.