9 Absurd Movie Premises That Actually Happened. Even a great movie or TV show isn't above throwing in one ridiculous, larger-than-life character who almost ruins any element of realism in the plot. The genius who's too smart, the hero who's too cool, the rebel who breaks the rules but somehow never gets punished for it. Hey, you know where else you find ridiculous characters like that? Real life. The Ridiculous Premise We're so used to Sylvester Stallone playing sneering, invincible killing machines that we forget that the whole point of Rocky was that the guy was a vulnerable, everyday schlub who worked odd jobs because he stunk at boxing. Hell, half of you reading this probably only saw the sequels and don't even realize the original Rocky ended with him losing the match.
Despite punching so much meat The Reality The real guy's name was Chuck Wepner. Neil Leifer"Take some of the light off his face? Instead of Apollo Creed, Wepner simply had to face one of the best boxers in the history of human civilization - Muhammad Ali. Getty. 6 Hugely Popular Books That Accidentally Screwed The World. Even if you're not a famous writer or politician or brilliant scientist, you probably dream of doing something to change the world. Even if it's just a small thing, like being the guy to single-handedly catch bin Laden and throw him from a helicopter into the rotors of another helicopter. But be careful what you wish for; as numerous authors have found out, sometimes your "world-changing" work doesn't necessarily change things for the better. Like... Jaws, by Peter Benchley It's the book that made the entire planet collectively shit their pants, go swimming, and then shit their pants all over again once the movie came out.
Seriously, what was Peter Benchley's problem with our unsoiled pants? Together, the Benchley-Spielberg tag team established Robert Shaw as a badass, Richard Dreyfuss as Richard Dreyfuss, the Jaws theme as the last thing you hear before you die, and the fact that the great white shark proves Mother Nature only wants to murder us. The Ugly Aftermath: The novel: The 5 Most Terrifying Side Effects of Exercise. So you've decided to get back in shape. Congratulations! Your heart, your lungs and your long-suffering significant other thank you. No doubt you've read or been told that before you start any exercise program, you should see a physician. This is great advice, especially if your heart has spent the last decade or so pumping the equivalent of maple syrup. Now, we would never call a physician inadequate, but after seeing one, you might want to turn to us for real medical advice*.
Because there are a lot of terrible things they don't tell you about exercise. *Never turn to Cracked for real medical advice. Running Makes You Poop Yourself Congratulations -- you've decided to take up running! GettyAnd while you're at it, stop hanging around with seventh-graders, you weirdo. And to your surprise, you actually do it. Running is one of the more jiggly sports. Just ask Paula Radcliffe. womans-running.comThis is Paula Radcliffe totally smoking some dude during a 10K while she is seven months pregnant. 5 Famous Sci-Fi Weapons That They're Actually Building. Ever find yourself watching a movie, and at the moment the villain whips out an elaborately sinister doomsday device, you say, "Hey, I wouldn't mind having one of those things! " Well, it turns out defense contractors are thinking the exact same thing. The only difference is they have billions to spend to make it happen. Coming soon to a battlefield near you: The Advanced Tactical Laser, Boeing's Flying Laser Cannon We've been waiting for a good freaking death ray for, oh, about 70 years.
Now, Boeing's already doing a few interesting things with laser technology on a smaller scale (like mounting devices to Humvees and using them to detonate bombs from a safe distance. That's where the Advanced Tactical Laser comes in. Designed to engage (that is, utterly destroy) ground targets, the ATL is a weapon fitted to an aircraft like a C-130 transport plane. Or should we say, tanks. This space age, science fiction gadget is scheduled for live fire demonstrations later this year.
Independence Day. 7 Simple Questions You Won't Believe Science Just Answered. One advantage of living in the information age is learning new things every day. Even more interesting is when we learn stuff that we thought we already knew but apparently didn't, like the fact that the sun is a sphere. Yep, science just found that out in February 2011. Next they're going to tell us that they just figured out whether the chicken or egg came first. Actually .... Which Came First: The Chicken or the Egg?
If you're anything like us, you probably spent a good part of your college years in a Denny's booth debating the universe's biggest mysteries, like how rad exactly is Dave Matthews Band live? And will baby tees and chunky Rachel layers ever go out of style? What We Just Found Out It was the chicken. Via Wikimedia CommonsNot such a big man now, are you, Hawking? In the summer of 2010, British researchers cracked the eneggma when they discovered that the protein necessary to create the eggshell was fowlnd exclusively in the ovaries of the chicken. Via summeroflovecraft.com. 8 Creepy Video Game Urban Legends (That Happen to Be True)
The urban legends of every era always seem to reflect whatever teenagers are doing at the time: Forty years ago, they told stories about serial killers attacking kids making out in cars and escaped criminals hiding in someone's backseat, because they didn't have jetpacks yet. Today, most young people seem to spend their time sitting or standing in front of video game screens, so it makes sense that we should get legends like ...
Super Mario Galaxy 2 -- The Shadow People of Hell Valley In a game like Mario, you're usually too focused on not falling off the crumbling catwalk into the lava below to ever really stop and look around. Especially in Mario Galaxy, where you are zipped across space from one world to the next, the vastness of the game world just whipping by you in a blur. GettyFor the same effect, we recommend huffing spray paint. But if you ever do get the chance to stop and stare into the distance, you'll find some extremely creepy shit. Via gonintendo.comThey're just THERE. Getty. The 6 Creepiest Things Hiding in Your DNA. We're all just one impulsive Google images search away from facing the unblinking darkness that lurks within the heart of man.
But that black pit of twisted evil and decay shouldn't surprise anybody; it's rooted in our genetic makeup. Literally. Back in biology class, you were probably taught that DNA was a sensible, organized system. When they called it "the building blocks of life," you probably pictured DNA as a series of neatly edged Legos snapping together to form a cohesive whole. When in reality, DNA is more like an old scrapbook that someone has torn up, pasted back together, filled with old newspaper clippings about murder and then taken into the bathroom with them.
Photos.comShe knows what she did. A large part of this internal mess comes from the endogenous retrovirus. In the distant past, retroviruses picked up by our ancestors would occasionally find their way into the sex organs, and the newly virused-up DNA was passed along to their children. Via Yikrazuul"Get in the car. 6 Fitness Tips Everyone's Heard (That Don't Work at All)
So this last year, I've been trying to do the old lose-weight-get-strong thing, so I can fit into a bikini and smash through walls. You know, the same thing millions of other Americans are striving for. Deep down, we all want to be She-Hulk. When I started out, I thought, naively, that different things work for different people and I should look around and try different ideas to see what works for me.
I was a fool to have thought that. According to countless self-proclaimed fitness experts, there is only one way to avoid obesity and early death: their way. Among the tips you'll have screamed at -- from website and magazine headlines -- are ... You MUST Eat Breakfast This advice comes with one or more all-capped words most of the time, for some reason, as if implying that if you DON'T eat BREAKFAST you might DIE. Why is breakfast so LIFE and DEATH? Via Spencer195The trays aren't bad, if crunchy.
Unfortunately, studies show that's not the case. My point isn't that you should skip breakfast. 5 Inspiring Religions That Worship Penises. Some articles demand a profound introduction. Others ... not so much. If we were a different website we might use this space to talk about how America is the biggest penis-worshiping-religion of them all. But we're not that website (in case yesterday's bowl of penises didn't tip you off). We assure you, this is no metaphor. You will find no pop psychology or vaguely phallic imagery in this article. . #5. The Lingam is the symbol of a very special part of the Hindu god Shiva's body.
In Hindu mythology, when Shiva is killed, the goddess Kali squats over his body, rips out and eats his organs, and then mounts his still erect manrod to complete the cycle of creation. The object in the foreground is a "yoni" (literally: vagina) and they are most often shown together, in full penetration: How Big Is It? Huge. On Your Knees: Worshiping the linga is pretty straightforward.
. #4. Quite respectable, thank you very much. Now, see if you can guess which country made our list twice. Give up? #3. . #2. . #1. The 8 Most Ridiculously Badass Protesters Ever Photographed. Protesters are, by their very nature, badass. Whether or not you agree with whatever it is they're standing for, you have to agree that it takes balls to go up against an entire system of government -- one comprised of thousands of highly trained, expertly equipped police and soldiers -- using whatever you find in the street on the walk down to the battlefield.
There are two current protests that might be changing the world for the better: One in Wisconsin, trying to preserve what very few bargaining rights public workers still have, and another in Libya, that has since turned into a full scale revolution. It's the least we can do to support them, by spreading the word and increasing awareness.
Oh no, wait, the least we can do is to look at a bunch of pictures of badass protesters and make jokes about them. Let's do that instead: This picture was taken at the Amona outpost, West Bank, when armed-to-the-teeth riot police raided the unarmed shanty-town to evict the settlers. She. Is. A Journey to Hell: My 'Earth Hour' Without Electricity. 8:28, March 28, 2009 Woo! T-minus a couple minutes till Earth Hour starts, and weve got enough candles to choke a whore (like if you didnt want to pay her or something). I swear, I better not smell like sandalwood after this is over. Anyway, the idea is to get as many people on the planet as possible to turn off all lights and electric devices for an hour to help raise awareness of the Earth or how Edison sucked or something.
Lara invited some peeps over to play board games, and Im going to keep writing in this journal and see how that goes. 8:34, March 28, 2009 Wow, look at me, writing by candlelight. Ive got to say, shutting down my computer was a little tougher for me than I thought it would be. 8:41, March 28, 2009 The weirdest thing just happened! Maybe Id better watch some Conan on the TiVo and call it a night. 9:02, March 28, 2009 Kamchatka. At least I won. 18 Minutes of Hell Remaining, March 28, 2009 Tried to restore power to the main breaker, but the unbelievers stopped me. 5 'Unspoiled' Locations That Are Actually Pretty Spoiled. Even if you're not the outdoorsy type, you don't have to listen to your neighbor's car alarm going off for very long before you imagine what life would be like in some beautiful, quiet place, unspoiled by humans.
No crowds, no lines, no broken beer bottles anywhere. After all, with corporations and reality shows getting their dirty fingers all over everything these days, it's comforting to know that there are some places on earth modern man still hasn't cheapened and ruined yet. Well, that's what you think until you get there, and see how long the line is to get in. Yes, even at places like ... If you climb Mt. Everest, you're forever known as a badass. Impossibly high, impossibly cold and utterly inhospitable to humans, when you reach the peak you know you're one of a scant few members of the species to survive it.
Well ... that was true at one time. After all, who can forget Sir Edmund Hillary's historic email from the summit of Everest? Via destination360.comEverest Base Camp, China. 6 New Anti-Pervert Technologies (We Really Shouldn't Need) Technology is the endgame of humanity, the culmination of man's eternal drive to improve, and the embodiment of his cunning. But for the most part, it's really only there to help people put their dongs into other people, or to prevent others from getting unwanted dongs put into them. This eternal technological sex conflict is called the Great Pervert War, and here are the latest weapons: The Perversion: The groping of asses in crowded spaces like trains and subways. These are basically subsonic rape bullets. The Counter: A cell phone application designed to confront gropers directly when the actual person is unable or unwilling.
Even though there are seriously signs everywhere ... Finally, if the groper just isn't getting the message, perhaps wondering why this uppity phone keeps telling him to back off when he hasn't even touched the damn thing, on account of he's got his hands full of its owner's ass -- the app goes for the throat: "Shall we head to the police? " Upskirt shots.