At this moment, a whole lot of people, most of them 15 to 20 years younger than me, are protesting in every major city.
Somewhere, right now, an adult is quoting an interesting animal "fact" that he actually learned from an old cartoon. Or from some other equally unreliable source. This is why sayings like "blind as a bat" persist even though bats can in fact see (tip: try substituting the more accurate phrase, "Blind as a man with two assholes in his face instead of eyes").
Many people have described writing online as being slowly lowered into a vat of acidic bile, without the benefit of being Batman first.
The butterfly effect isn't just a confusing mess of a movie about prison beatings and child molestation starring the guy from Punk'd , it's an actual scientific principal . Every day, seemingly insignificant things can make changes on a global scale.
Every grizzled mentor worth their salt will tell you that success takes a lot of work. Getting a good job requires an education, good health requires discipline and good hair requires vigorous conditioning. But science says that while those high-octane achievers may make more money and climb the career ladder faster, it's the slackers who prevail in the end.
Ridiculous times call for ridiculous measures.
The ability to think outside the box is a valuable skill that tends to bring its possessor fame and fortune.
Although it seems that modern technology is all about making everything smaller, when it comes to unlocking the secrets of the universe, science is all about going big . Really big. Right at this moment, scientists and engineers are in the process of building -- or using -- instruments that look like the engine for a Star Destroyer.
Most supervillain schemes are pretty stupid, when you think about it: Lex Luthor wanted to get rich with a ridiculous real estate scam in the first Superman movie, and that's considered a classic. Again: a real estate scam . YOU HAVE MISSILES, DUDE!
Some classic movie bad guys have great motivations, like Darth Vader ("corrupted by the Force"), Voldemort ("I don't have a nose") or the shark from Jaws ("I am a shark"). Others are just crazy, like the Joker.
I'm Going to See Avatar .
Zombies are the best imaginary enemy because they let you indulge in psychotic fantasies while still pretending to be the good guy. You're not a demented serial killer, you HAVE to slaughter your way through the crowds of people you see every day!
Let's face it, Halloween will never be as cool as it was when you were a kid.
The Internet has introduced a golden age of ill-informed arguments. You can't post a video of an adorable kitten without a raging debate about pet issues spawning in the comment section .
Whether she's playing a drunk girl , an obnoxious co-worker or a reluctant would-be porn star , Eliza Skinner's performances are always 100% committed; authentic to the point of making you uncomfortable.