background preloader

Amusing

Facebook Twitter

Funny Anti Jokes. Jpg00000.jpg (426×469) LOTS OF PUNS. ...A guy goes into a nice restaurant bar wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission. So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't have one. He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets the ends dangle free. He goes back to the restaurant and the bouncer carefully looks him over for a few minutes and then says, "Well, OK, I guess you can come in -- just don't start anything. " ...This mushroom walks into a bar and starts hitting on this woman... ...This horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey, buddy, why the long face... ...These two strings walk upto a bar... ...This grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Hey!

...This baby seal walks into a bar and the bartender says,"What'll ya have... " ...A neutron walks into a bar. Back. Things People Said. Ordinary people can be drop dead funny. Latest additions: 1/21/11 Human speech is directly responsible for almost every thought and emotion we have throughout life's journey. The complexity of language and the complex messages we use it to communicate leave the possibilities wide open for just about anything. Among other things, people can say things that are funny. We pay good money to see comedians say funny things, and a lot of them come through. This page features humor that bypasses that. Slips and Gaffes Accident Reports -- Descriptions of accidents as written on insurance claim forms. Questions, Suggestions, and Complaints Forest Service Feedback -- City folk suggest improvements to the outdoors. Things Kids Say Kids' Ideas About Love -- 5 to 10 year olds expound on love and marriage.

Stupidity Warning Labels -- In today's litigious society, products need ridiculously obvious instructions. Famous People Yogi Berra -- Verbal blunders from one of baseball's legends. RinkWorks. 24 Humoristic Toilet Inscription. The art of toilet inscription is as ancient as toilets themselves. Many of our favorite pub jokes have their origins on the damp, mucky walls of the loo. Here, we present 24 such specimens of spontaneously expelled humor. If Historical Events had Facebook Statuses. US Department of Laughs. Top Ten Best Cosplay - Top Ten List - FastTopTen.