You're Driving Me Crazy! Without doubt, there are big problems that afflict relationships; infidelity , abuse, and addiction are not perishing from the earth.
A highly sexualized society delivers an alluring drumbeat of distractions. But it may be the petty problems that subvert love most surreptitiously. The dirty socks on the floor. The way our partner chews so loudly. Like the relentless drip of a leaky faucet, they erode the goodwill that underlies all relationships. Yet irritations are inevitable in relationships. We each have differing values and ways of looking at the world, and we want different things from each other. Sometimes a sock on the floor is just a sock on the floor. But small problems coalesce into a vast, submerged force when they take on a different meaning in your mind—when you add them up as evidence of a character flaw or moral defect. "You don't really live with the partner in your home. But if you want to stay in a relationship, something needs to change.
10 Ways to Perk Up Your Relationship. If you've ever gotten relationship advice, you've probably heard plenty of don'ts.
Don't nag. Don't stonewall. Don't blame. Don't leave the toilet seat up, don't squeeze the toothpaste tube from the middle, and definitely don't assume he's that into you when he's just not. Well, don't listen. The happiest couples focus on do's, not don'ts. Traditionally, couples research has focused more on minimizing negatives (arguments, emotional distance, infidelity ) than on maximizing positives. Positivity has a way of shifting our perspective: While negative emotions shut us down, positive emotions open us up. "Finding ways to inject humor and lightness into a difficult situation is not merely a distraction," says Fredrickson, "It actually helps people see possibilities. " In fact, just setting more positive goals for your relationship can make you happier as a couple. 1: Be grateful. "A lot of people express their appreciation in self-absorbed ways," Fredrickson says. 2: Poke fun at each other.
Beyond Betrayal: Life After Infidelity. Day after day in my office I see men and women who have been messing around.
They lead secret lives, as they hide themselves from their marriages. They go through wrenching divorces, inflicting pain on their children and their children's children. Or they make desperate, tearful, sweaty efforts at holding on to the shreds of a life they've betrayed. They tell me they have gone through all of this for a quick thrill or a furtive moment of romance. Sometimes they tell me they don't remember making the decision that tore apart their life: "It just happened. " Accidental Infidelity All affairs are not alike. Many times a young man has started his career as a philanderer quite accidentally when he is traveling out of town on a new job with a philandering boss who chooses one of a pair of women and expects the young fellow to entertain the other.
After an accidental infidelity, there is clearly the sense that one's life and marriage have changed. Romantic Infidelity.