All About Beer. If you are easily offended, maybe you had better go BACK!!! Stage 1 - SMART This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG.
This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART. Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. Stage 3 - RICH This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. Stage 4 - BULLET PROOF You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. Stage 5 - INVISIBLE This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. "Wow! " English. Six Comedians We Wish Would Return to Standup. I've always rejected the idea that standup comedy is useful as merely a stepping stone to other things (movies, a sitcom, writing gigs).
In my opinion, it’s as noble a final destination as any other. That’s what made Seinfeld documentary Comedian so refreshing to watch — a legendary, insanely-wealthy comic heading enthusiastically back into the standup fray, while a virtual no-name claws and screams as he tries to escape it. That’s not to say that a successful standup shouldn’t venture out into other areas. Obviously, comedians should explore the creative impulse in any direction they feel drawn. But while doing this, many comedians lose their way. Here are a few comedians that are overdue for a return to the stage: Jim Carrey His recent return to SNL was a tease — offering an all-too-brief glimpse back inside the mind of a comic genius that has for the most part been wasted for a decade.
Maybe he’s lost his spastic comic edge. Adam Sandler Eddie Murphy Michael Richards Drew Carey Larry David. THINGS YOU LEARN IN COLLEGE | The Career Closet. I had to post this hilarious list from www.funny2.com/collegeBut you don’t learn these things in class Quarters are like gold.Flip-flops become as important as soap, and shampoo. Asleep by 2:30 AM is an early night. New additions to the food groups: Mountain Dew, Doritos, Ben & Jerry’s, Ho-Hos and Oreos. Make sure your alarm clock has back-up batteries.
Duct tape heals all wounds. Showers become less important. Sleep becomes more important. 10 minutes is more than enough time to get ready for your first class. Going to the mailbox was never an ego-booster (or ego-breaker) before. You begin to nap again. The book your professor wrote is always required for his class. E-mail becomes your second language. Frat parties are exactly like they are in the movies. Ten-page papers used to sound impossible, now they’re a Godsend. You never realized so many people are smarter than you. You never realized so many people are dumber than you. Professors are like celebrities: you see them, but they never see you.
Popular. Evidence of Cultural Decline.