Guérir une naissance. Rituel pour renaitre d’un accouchement difficile. Je crois que l’on se rappelle toutes où nous étions le jour où nous avons découvert que nous étions enceinte. Dans la salle de bain après avoir fait pipi sur un petit bâton rose me direz vous ! Mais en fait je veux dire « où » à l’intérieur de nous… dans un état de surprise, d’euphorie, de bonheur, de doute, de peur, d’inquiétude, de perplexité, d’excitation.
Et s’ il faut neuf mois pour faire un bébé, il faut aussi bien des mois pour faire une mère et cheminer vers le grand jour où ce bébé devra quitter notre ventre, cheminer dans notre antre, pour sortir entre nos jambes avant de revenir à notre ventre. Un long chemin de réflexions, de remises en questions, d’accompagnement et de préparation pour finalement se sentir prête à emprunter ce chemin initiatique, ce rite de passage qu’est la mise au monde d’un enfant … et d’une mère. Un moment parfois craint, redouté, mais souvent rêvé, lu, questionné, discuté, imaginé, puis attendu. Le cœur à marée basse. This birth story is a thank you letter. and a wish list. it’s about my start as a new mother. i hesitated to share it, for it is about a most intimate kind of grief. but if there is only one mom out there, who finds some comfort in it, it was worth it. dear future moms, i’m sad to say this is not a very pretty tale. when i was pregnant, i heard so many horror stories about birth that brought me nothing but fear. i have not the slightest wish to scare you. looking back, there were things i wish i had known. that birthing mothers have fundamental rights. the right to complete information, for instance, and to accept or refuse possible interventions on the basis of this input. to take some time, to consider alternatives, to make room for one’s own intuition. i think there is much to be gained from that.
Healing from birth trauma. Michelle Quashie’s Journey of Healing: A VBAC Birth Story After Two Traumatic Births Michelle Quashie is a mum to 3 boys. Her first two children were born via EMCS (emergency c section), and her third was a vaginal birth that left her feeling so strong. She had always been fascinated by birth but the experience left her fascinated not only by birth but by its unspoken power and left her completely in awe. Giving birth ignited a passion within Michelle too strong to ignore. She now campaigns for women to be given the unbiased information needed to make informed choices throughout their maternity experience and to have their rights respected. Michelle is an active member of the Maternity Services Liaison Committee (MSLC) in the United Kingdom working alongside health professionals to improve maternity care in Britain.
Michelle blogs at Strong Since Birth and tweets from @QuashieMichelle. Resource Links: The Positive Birth Movement Tell Me A Good Birth Story AiMS For A Better Birth. Being honest: a traumatic birth. My eldest son Oliver is now 5, he will be 6 in January, my beautiful bambi eyed firstborn son, a boy that, if I’m honest, I only got to properly enjoy when he turned 10 months old. I had a traumatic birth post induction you see, a crash section, or emergency as it’s more commonly known, but crash defines it so much better-that manic rush to theatre in deep panic, the not knowing, that overwhelming sense of this isn’t how it was meant to be, the loss of control, the trauma.
The pain, physical, emotional, the speed. And then relief. For some. I’ve mentioned Oliver’s birth in passing on this blog, I’ve alluded to how tough my first pregnancy was, but I’ve never written about that time, not fully, not candidly because well I couldn’t really, not until now. I came to terms with that troubled, testing time along with the birth and the hard months which followed, several years ago thanks to my nurturing family and the most empowering, caring counsellor you could ask for.
I was lucky. With love,