The Cynics Sanctuary - StumbleUpon. If you still have any illusions that "all is for the best in this best of all possible worlds," you're about to lose them right here! Read my personal list and enjoy the bitter pleasure of cynical commiseration. Be warned: it's a LONG list. If you have to break for dinner or electroshock therapy, I'll understand. (Just use the handy numbers to remember your place in the list, so you can pick up where you left off.) As long as it is, my list only scratches the surface. Leaders. 16 Reasons Why God Never Received Tenure at the University. How to Hunt Elephants - StumbleUpon. MATHEMATICIANS hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing out everything that is not an elephant, and catching one of whatever is left.
EXPERIENCED MATHEMATICIANS will attempt to prove the existence of at least one unique elephant before proceeding to step 1 as a subordinate exercise. PROFESSORS OF MATHEMATICS will prove the existence of at least one unique elephant and then leave the detection and capture of an actual elephant as an exercise for their graduate students. COMPUTER SCIENTISTS hunt elephants by exercising Algorithm A: Go to Africa. Start at the Cape of Good hope. EXPERIENCED COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS modify Algorithm A by placing a known elephant in Cairo to ensure that the algorithm will terminate. ASSEMBLY LANGUAGE PROGRAMMERS prefer to execute Algorithm A on their hands and knees. DATABASE ADMINISTRATORS do not need to go out and capture elephants when they can retrieve them simply with an ad hoc query: STATISTICIANS hunt the first animal they see N times and call it an elephant.
Normal_769912219.jpg from riemurasia.net. 34130_700b.jpg from cloudfront.net. To all my blog friends, this coffee cup is my Christmas gift to you. LOL Movies: Star Wars. Parking Lesson Leaflets - Mental Discharge - StumbleUpon. Application for a night out - hisnhers. Funny Shit Funny Shit (home) → genderwar → Application for a night out - his'n'hers Application for a night out - his'n'hers → Check out more Funny Shit More: The Gender War.
I Laugh at Your Expense - ILAYE - 50 Websites to Keep Yourself Entertained. Some Useful Condescending Phrases. Rep-speak-for-dummies-how-to-communicate-with-customer-service-reps.jpg (JPEG Image, 800x9873 pixels) - Scaled (8%) TOP 100 funniest one-liners, quotes and jokes on the internet! Part 2. Open Thread. If World War I Was a Bar Fight. Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria’s pint.
Austria demands Serbia buy it a whole new suit because of the new beer stains on its trouser leg. Germany expresses its support for Austria’s point of view. Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit. Serbia points out that it can’t afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria’s trousers. Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it’s looking at. Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in doing so. Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that its sufficiently out of order that Britain not intervene.
Crazyvsreligion.png from blacksunjournal.com. Skippy's List & Skippy's List: The 213 things Skippy is no... A quick note: I don’t mind if you want to quote a few items from my list of your site.
But please do not copy the list in it’s entirety. Explanations of these events: a) I did myself, and either got in trouble or commended. (I had a Major shake my hand for the piss bottle thing, for instance.) b) I witnessed another soldier do it. (Like the Sergeant we had, that basically went insane, and crucified some dead mice.) c) Was spontaneously informed I was not allowed to do. (Like start a porn studio.) d) Was the result of a clarification of the above. How Much is Inside Planters Mixed Nuts? The more we searched, the more scandal we uncovered. Favourite Cat Quotes through Time. Man has always been intrigued and fascinated with the cat so it's not surprising that there are so many cat-related quotes throughout time.
This is a selection of some of my favourite quotes that I have collected over the years that I know all feline lovers will enjoy. This page will be updated with new quotes from time to time so please feel free to come back again soon! "In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat. 40 Different Looks At Common Things. Water is dangerous. This was found on the newsgroup: rec.humor.funny A student at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair, April 26.
He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. Hospital Know It All. At the end of the tax year, the IRS office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital.
While the IRS agent was checking the books he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said, “I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there’s too little left to be of any use?” “Good question,” noted the CFO. “We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every now and then they send us a free box of bandages.” “Oh,” replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. The Bible is Like a Software Licence. TM): Great quotes by comedians. Great quotes by comedians ----- Begin NetScrap(TM) ----- Great quotes by comedians "If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me.
" --Bobcat Goldthwait "I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money. " --Kevin Meaney "My mom said she learned how to swim. Someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. Po-tate-o, Po-tat-o. "Look at that dumb fuck, Daddy," said my 3-year-old from his car seat.
"Where? " I asked. Troops (Star Wars COPS Parody) Sentencewithoutspaces. 15 Things Worth Knowing About Coffee.