Anagrams - StumbleUpon. Worth the read (I did not write this, I found it on the net) English language did you knows. Animals Got Talent: Is this the dancing-est dog in the universe? We think so... It took us a while to become fully convinced that the footage above wasn't made using some sort of video trickery.
But Carrie, the dancing-est golden retriever we've ever seen, is neither computer-generated nor a figment of your imagination. She's just a bizarrely talented dog. Carrie the Perrita Bailarina, as she's known to her fans, dances about a million times better than we do, and we have legs designed to walk upright. So it's with mixed feelings that we watch her take to the dance floor, tail wagging furiously and goofy golden retriever grin on full display.
Viewer reaction to her videos (which can be found in large numbers on YouTube) seems to run the gamut from shock to awe to a general sense of creeped-outness. It's difficult to get over the strangeness of seeing a dog decked out in a fancy getup dancing the merengue, but we have to hand it to Carrie -- the dog's got talent, and her facial expressions really put her dancing over the top. -- Lindsay Barnett.
Things People Said: Courtroom Quotations. The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity. Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child? "Witness: "I only have one, you know. " Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
" Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse? " The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail. Lawyer: "What is your date of birth? " Lawyer: "Can you tell us what was stolen from your house? " Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? " Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like? " Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all? " Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you? " Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? " HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF.
ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659 -- from Joe Burton. Cat Physics. 1. Law of Cat Inertia: A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force, such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse. 2. Law of Cat Motion: A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction. 3. Law of Cat Magnetism: All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32.
See also Cat Section. Jokes &Humor. LOTS OF PUNS. ...A guy goes into a nice restaurant bar wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission. So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't have one. He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets the ends dangle free.
He goes back to the restaurant and the bouncer carefully looks him over for a few minutes and then says, "Well, OK, I guess you can come in -- just don't start anything. " ...This mushroom walks into a bar and starts hitting on this woman... ...This horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey, buddy, why the long face... ...These two strings walk upto a bar... ...This grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Hey! ...This baby seal walks into a bar and the bartender says,"What'll ya have... " ...A neutron walks into a bar. Back. You might be a grad student if... Water is dangerous. This was found on the newsgroup: rec.humor.funny A student at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair, April 26.
He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical "dihydrogen monoxide. " And for plenty of good reasons, since: it can cause excessive sweating and vomiting it is a major component in acid rain it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state accidental inhalation can kill you it contributes to erosion it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes it has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical.
He feels the conclusion is obvious. Human World. Human World The women of the Tiwi tribe in the South Pacific are married at birth. When Albert Einstein died, his final words died with him. The nurse at his side didn't understand German. St Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland, was not Irish. The lance ceased to be an official battle weapon in the British Army in 1927. St. Many sailors used to wear gold earrings so that they could afford a proper burial when they died.
Some very Orthodox Jew refuse to speak Hebrew, believing it to be a language reserved only for the Prophets. A South African monkey was once awarded a medal and promoted to the rank of corporal during World War I. Born 4 January 1838, General Tom Thumb's growth slowed at the age of 6 months, at 5 years he was signed to the circus by P.T. Because they had no proper rubbish disposal system, the streets of ancient Mesopotamia became literally knee-deep in rubbish. The Toltecs, Seventh-century native Mexicans, went into battle with wooden swords so as not to kill their enemies. WebRiddles.com - Riddles. Not Very - Super Effective.
Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes & Search Results ... Mature people truths. It is possible to understand Engineers - Where theres a will, theres a way. Understanding Engineers #1 Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike? " The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want. " The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice, The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway. " Understanding Engineers #2 To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. Understanding Engineers #3 A priest, an ophthalmologist, and an engineer were golfing one morning behind a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? The doctor chimed in,"I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf! " The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. He said, "Hello, George. The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. They were silent for a moment. All I Need to Know... Nerd Paradise : How to Write a 20 Page Research Paper in Under a Day. Posted on: 10 Cado 7:0 - 5.27.29 So you've procrastinated again. You told yourself you wouldn't do this 2 months ago when your professor assigned you this. But you procrastinated anyway. Shame on you. It's due in a few hours. Pick a Topic The more "legally-oriented" your topic is, the better.
Make a list ...of every possible outcome that this issue could cause in...the near future...the far future...of every person that this topic affects....of any instances where this topic has come in the news....what you would do about this topic if you had the chance/power/enough-sugar...any little detail you can think ofThe important thing about this is to think of ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING, no matter how silly or far-fetched. Reorder everything Put your most obvious argument first. Then put weird off the wall stuff, regardless of importance. Put the strongest argument for your case next. Now list the incidents that will help argue for your point. It's best to keep all this in the form of an outline. Spaces. Was Rebecca Blacks &Friday& Really About the Kennedy Assassination?... UCB Parents Jokes &Quotes: 8 rules for dating my daughter. This page is brought to you by UC Berkeley Parents Network Back to the Jokes & Quotes Collection 8 rules for dating my daughter Copyright 1999 W.
Bruce Cameron ==> Please do NOT remove the copyright from this essay! <== When I was in high school I used to be terrified of my girlfriend's father, who I believe suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughter's chest. He would open the door and immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a hand that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamonds. Now, years later, it is my turn to be the dad.
The opinions and statements expressed on this page are those of parents who belong to the UC Berkeley Parents Network and should not be taken as a position of or endorsement by the University of California, Berkeley.