Video game characters no-one ever picks. Real-world problems only a gamer could understand. The Top 7… Most shameful ways you've died in a video game. The Top 7… Most shameful ways you've died in a video game. Gaming’s biggest “F MY LIFE!” moments. The boy who beat Ocarina of Time in 22 minutes. The exact moment when Ocarina of Time is completed, according to timekeepers at the Speed Demos Archive, is when Link thrusts his Master Sword into Ganon's skull. That's after climbing the castle as organ music echoes through its chambers, after the lightning-bolt tennis match in the uppermost room of the tower, after the death-defying dash down the escalade with Zelda in tow, after the entire gothic structure collapses under its own weight and after that unforgettable moment at ground zero. In terms of boss battles, it's exhaustive; nearly a full hour demanding watchfulness, precision and the right amount of dare when it matters most.
The violence and unremitting challenge is startlingly un-Nintendo, even for a boss fight, but this final bloody gauntlet is the only way to bring Ocarina of Time - perhaps the greatest work from the greatest mind in games - to its full conclusion. Zoom On first play, it will take anything up to 80 hours to finally thrust that Master Sword into Ganon. The Top 7... Stereotypical gamers we hate. We'd rather be stabbed in our necks with rusty ice picks than try to hold any sort of conversation with one of these imbeciles. Emergency tracheotomies would both be less painful, and more likely to get us shots of morphine. We're referring to rare, but very real individuals who by some astonishing means perfectly embody corny, old gamer stereotypes that definitely shouldn't describe any actual person ever.
The following seven profiles illustrate the stereotypes that are most capable of initiating our gag reflexes. They should be avoided vigorously. 7. Usually plays: Halo 3, Guitar Hero 3Favorite snacks: Brewskies, pizza, passed-out sorority chicks It's hard to tell when these douche bags are actually playing a game as they're just as likely to yell "Score! " These ravenous consumers of all things sequel and all things licensed are the undiscerning gamers that lazy publishers wish we all were. Page 2 - The Top 7... Game characters we (seriously) fell in love with. 1. Garrus Vakarian (Mass Effect) What is there to say about Garrus that hasn't been scrawled onto the back cover of a teenage girl's Trapper Keeper? The guy's a heartthrob, plain and simple. There's just something about him that makes women weak in the knees, and the mere utterance of his name brings panties flying in from every direction.
As a squadmate in all three Mass Effect games, Garrus proves to be 100 percent loyal. Garrus wins our love by discharging pure charisma at all times. Page 3 - The Top 7... Irritating female characters. Annoyed us in: The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (N64/GC/Wii, 1998) Right off the bat, we HEY! Knew we weren't going to get along LISTEN! Well with Navi. In the opening minutes of Ocarina of Time, hero Link - then just a boy - is peacefully HEY! Sleeping in his forest home, when LISTEN! All of a LISTEN!
Sudden Navi barges in and violently shakes HEY! Above: CAN YOU PLEASE JUST SHUT THE HELL UP FOR LIKE FIVE CONSECUTIVE MINUTES Before long, however, it became HEY! To see more GamesRadar Top 7s, head here and read about diverse topics including Damsels you don't want to save, Consoles that never were, Games so bad they had to add breasts and the Worst jobs in the games industry. Hear more about this article in this Friday's TalkRadar. The World According to the United States of America | Alphadesigner Blog. World According to USA Print | Alphadesigner Art Store. The World According To Americans. With the possible exception of the "AIDS" label that's covering half of Africa, some of these American stereotypes of the rest of world are surprisingly lacking in wickedness.
I would have expected less superficial ignorance, and more low blows from the country that claims to be the best at everything. I mean, even my grandma had an arsenal of colorful words to describe Japan, and all of them were way better than "Toyota". Alaska is "Hockey Moms," not "Evolution Stopped Here"? India is just "Curry," instead of "Curry-Scented American Jobs"? Greece is "Democracy," over "Please enter at rear"? Could we maybe get a Trey Parker and Matt Stone revision of this map? The World According to Americans is part of visual artist Yanko Tsvetkov's Mapping Stereotypes project. Groupon. Bad Joke Eel Talks Sports.