Funny
Encyclopedia of Humor
1 Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table. The mother asks the oldest boy what hed like to eat. “Ill have some fuckin French toast,” he says.
Much of the brain is still mysterious to modern science, possibly because modern science itself is using brains to analyze it. There are probably secrets the brain simply doesn't want us to know. But by no means should that stop us from tinkering around in there, using somewhat questionable and possibly dangerous techniques to make our brains do what we want. We can't vouch for any of these, either their effectiveness or safety. All we can say is that they sound awesome, since apparently you can make your brain... Think You Got a Good Night's Sleep (After Only Two Hours of Actual Sleep)
5 Ways To Hack Your Brain Into Awesomeness
LOTS OF PUNS
...A guy goes into a nice restaurant bar wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission. So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't have one. He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets the ends dangle free. He goes back to the restaurant and the bouncer carefully looks him over for a few minutes and then says, "Well, OK, I guess you can come in -- just don't start anything." ...This mushroom walks into a bar and starts hitting on this woman...There was once a brown fix who lived peacefully in a heavily wooded area with his wife and two young cubs. One day, Virgil, the youngest of the two cubs by 7 minutes, ventured away from his mother while she slept with the rest of the family. He soon found himself in a place he had never been before, but had lost sight of his mother and the safety of the cave he called home. Virgil looked out onto the large dandelion filled field, and stared in wonder at all of the swaying yellow flowers that lay before him. Never before had he left the woods in his short life, and he was both terrified and amazed at what he saw. Just then, Virgil heard a loud noise, unlike anything he had ever heard before in his short life.
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50 State Stereotypes In 2 Minutes (VIDEO)
What would these United States be without our quirky differences? Not to mention the well-worn stereotypes those quirks have born. Oversimplified conceptions truly are American! Author Paul Jury has some fun with that notion in the promo for his book below called "50 State Stereotypes In Two Minutes." We think you'll enjoy Jury's descriptions of both the states you hate as well as the ones you love (if not, how about that delightful background music?).
Listen: Samuel L. Jackson narrates "Go the Fuck to Sleep"
Author Adam Mansbach, after repeated struggles to get his two-year-old daughter to fall asleep, once sent out a jokey Facebook post reading: "Look out for my forthcoming children's book, 'Go the Fuck to Sleep.'" The one-liner amused many of his Facebook friends, and the next thing you know, Mansbach had assembled some verses, and bootleg PDF copies of the profanity-laced opus were suddenly going viral. The thirty-two-page Go the Fuck to Sleep was picked up by a small Brooklyn publishing house, and even reached number one on Amazon's bestseller list ahead of memoirs by Tina Fey and Steven Tyler, well before its official publication date, which was yesterday. So this children's book for adults is now a full-blown phenomenon, and has weathered a little controversy, as New Zealand Christian group Family First has lobbied New Zealand's booksellers not to sell the book.
If you're not familiar with the work of Boswell D. Rabbitsmith, he's the famous erudite scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates." His mind sees things differently than most of us do, to our amazement and amusement. Here are some of his gems: (He also makes his living as a comedian by the name of Steve Wright....)
ERUDITE CONCEPTS
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Cats