6 Insane Discoveries That Science Can't Explain. We like to feel superior to the people who lived centuries ago, what with their shitty mud huts and curing colds by drilling a hole in their skulls. But we have to give them credit: They left behind some artifacts that have left the smartest of modern scientists scratching their heads. For instance, you have the following enigmas that we believe were created for no other purpose than to fuck with future generations.
The Voynich Manuscript The Mystery: The Voynich manuscript is an ancient book that has thwarted all attempts at deciphering its contents. And it's not like some idiot just scribbled a bunch of nonsense on paper and went, "Figure THIS out, fuckwads. " It appears to be a real language--just one that nobody has seen before. Translation: "...and when you get her to put the tennis racket in her mouth, have her stand in a fountain for a while. There is not even a consensus on who wrote it, or even when it was written. Why Can't They Solve It? Could you? Don't even try. Our Guess: Gay Bigfoot & the 7 Weirdest Mythical Creatures in the World. It's easy to feel a little down in the morning, as you slump over your wilting shitflakes and ruminate on the day of savage tedium that lies ahead. However, such existential misery can be allayed simply by saying to oneself, "No matter how dull, desperate and lonely my life has become, I nevertheless live in a world where fish can launch fireballs.
" On certain stretches of the Mekong River, an evening walker can behold a magical sight. At around 8pm during the full moon of October, hundreds of egg-sized balls of red flame rise from the water like a myriad misdirected Hadoukens, floating up towards the stars, where they quietly disappear. Locals claim that these fireballs are caused by an eel called the Phaya Naga, specimens of which have allegedly been found. According to legend, the fireballs are an offering of thanks to Buddha, which seems a little ill-advised, even if you are a deity, your first reaction to being pelted with fireballs is probably not going to be, "You're welcome.
" The 5 Most Ridiculously Unnecessary Modern Inventions. They say necessity is the mother of invention. What they neglect to mention is that invention's dad is a moron and he sometimes pops by the house with a new piece of shit idea that's so staggeringly awful that he takes your silent awe as approval when in fact you're trying to think of a new way to say "What the fuck?
" that is at once louder and more vulgar, and somehow requires the assistance of noted scholars and theologians. People invent awful stuff all the time, and while there were a lot of really kitschy patents around the turn of the last century, you'd think that the dumb idea bank would be getting full up in modern times. But it looks like there's still room for people to squeeze one or two new turds through. #5.
The Fliz fliz-concept.blogspot Statistically speaking, it's probably not entirely unlikely that there is someone out there who is enamored with cycling but fears pedals and really gets off on sex swings. Looking at the Fliz, you'll notice a few things right away. . #4. . #3. The 6 Most Insane Ways Going Green Can Backfire. #3. Solar Panels Blind Airplane Pilots Getty Get used to seeing solar panels -- already we're planting the things on parking garages, churches, houses, even long stretches in the middle of the desert only inhabited by man-eating mutant cannibals. So what's the problem with turning sunlight into pollution-free electricity?
No, but in our rush to point as many large mirrors at the sky as possible, we seem to have forgotten to consider the fact that sometimes people like to, you know, go up there for stuff. "Fuck it, I'm just gonna drop the nose and gun it. " As larger solar panel farms are built, the risks become even greater, to the point that the possible side effects read like the warning label from an ACME crate: Scientists have warned that a plan for 170,000 large solar panels in the Mojave Desert could "vaporize birds, blind drivers miles away, flip small airplanes or even attract Air Force heat-seeking missiles.
" Getty"Shit, where's my "Yakety Sax" MP3? " #2. . #1. Photos.com. 6 Insane True Stories Too Awesome for a Chuck Norris Movie. Here's a quick quiz: What do you do when you are a 73-year-old woman who lives alone and you hear a window breaking at 1am on a Saturday night? Answer: Don't open the front door because your robber will stuff a rag in your mouth and proceed with thieving you. Which, unfortunately, was exactly what happened to an elderly woman a few years ago when she let her robber, Juan Garcia Vasquez, right in the door so he could conduct his robbery of her. What Happened Next: The old woman somehow convinced the man to, instead of going straight for the jewels and cash, sit down with her on the sofa instead.
Home-baked cookies may or may not have been promised. So, they're sitting there on the couch, maybe chit-chatting, or maybe just staring at each other awkwardly, when suddenly Vasquez's stomach growled. The daughter phoned the cops and Vasquez was picked up at around 2:45am. Yang Youde: Chinese Rambo This is Yang's angry face. He wasn't just being paranoid. "Duly noted. " Hooray! Fair enough. The 5 Scientific Experiments Most Likely to End the World. Let's face it, we really trust science. In fact, studies suggest that the vast majority of people will murder another human being, if a guy in a lab coat tells them it's OK.
But surely in their insatiable curiosity and desire to put knowledge above all things, science would never, say, inadvertently set off a chain of events that lead to some sort of disaster that ended the world. Right? Well, here's five experiments that may prove us wrong. Recreating the Big Bang Scientists are kind of pissed that they weren't around when the Big Bang happened. The solution, science says, is to make it happen again.
God, 1. What Could Possibly Go Wrong? Well, first imagine an apocalyptic nuclear holocaust. So, Basically It's Like... Imagine you have a huge tanker truck parked outside a children's hospital. How Long Have We Got? Meet the Large Hadron Collider. This is not only the largest particle accelerator ever built, it's the largest anything ever built. Risk Level: 3 The Quantum Zeno Effect Risk Level: 5. The 5 Weirdest Ways Music Can Mess With the Human Brain. It Changes Your Drinking Habits Did you ever wake up in the back of a taxi after a long night of tossing down cognac and prune juice and wonder how your pants got replaced by a thick but clumsily applied coat of colorful body paint? Well, now there's something to blame it on besides your bad childhood: music.
What they play in the bar doesn't just affect how much you drink, but what you drink. Nothing goes with Lady Gaga like cheap, awful tequila. How the hell does music do that? Did you know you can make a person buy more expensive wine just by playing classical music? But in another blind study, different types of music playing in the background caused drinkers to change how they'd described the drinks they already had. Listening to this would inspire us to drink, too. This wasn't because customers thought to themselves, Ah! The people selling you the drinks know all of this stuff -- or at least, the successful ones do. "Here's the check. Italian goes down better with GWAR. 7 Mind-Blowing Structures Built in Secret.
Humans build incredible things. Chances are good that you passed something on your way to work this morning that would make our ancestors accuse someone of witchcraft. But we never stop to wonder what awe-inspiring creation someone could be producing right under our noses, because why would anyone build something impressive and keep it a secret? Plenty of (usually insane) reasons, it turns out. The next time you look out your window, you might be totally unaware that you're staring right at something like ... #7.
Oobject In September of 1924, a truck was driving in Washington, D.C., when its tires sank into the ground. Thelocation"The Morlocks want us to keep the noise down. " Dr. Getty"You think the garbage man will suspect anything if I leave this out on the curb? " Once people got their heads around the fact that one guy had really done this all by himself, the search must have been on for all the dead people he'd dug the tunnels to store. "I did it for exercise," he said. . #6. Getty #5. 5 UFO Sightings That Even Non-Crazy People Find Creepy. If you want to research UFO sightings, we hope you like bullshit. Because you're about to be drowned in sensationalist books and blogs from UFO enthusiasts who declare every blinking light in the sky to be the opening scenes of Independence Day.
It's no coincidence that so many people who encounter UFOs also really want to believe in them. However, buried deep within the U.S. military's own records are some very bizarre, and very well-documented sightings that have to give even a skeptic second thoughts. Are they aliens? The Chiles-Whitted UFO Encounter It's not all that uncommon for airline pilots to spot UFOs. Named after commercial airline pilots and World War II veterans Clarence Chiles and Charles Whitted, this sighting occurred in the wee hours of July 24, 1948, when both Chiles and co-pilot Whitted reported having to evade, what could only be described as a giant, flying ... dildo. Aphrodite: "So that's were that went! " The Unsettling Evidence: The Official Explanation: ...yet. 9 Normal Things That Look Trippy Under a Microscope. Whoa. So deep down, every pina colada is like staring at peacock feathers after dropping, like, all the acid. We're surprised we've never pissed out Joseph's Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat after overindulging on these.
You might think there's some computerized color enhancement at play here, but that's actually a photograph taken by BevShots, which achieved the effect by allowing the drink to dry on a microscope slide, shining some natural light onto it and taking an extreme close-up with a plain old 35 mm camera. Let's look at a few more. Via Bevshots.comFaith and Begorra! What, not artsy enough for you? Via Daily Mail And while that looks like some kind of experimental artwork from the '70s, a margarita ... Via Telegraph ... is channeling Georgia O'Keeffe. We're honestly surprised by how beautiful all of these are. Via Daily MailIt's the only drink that judges you while you sip. 6 Images of Abandoned Weaponry You Won't Believe Are Real. Rare, expensive materials, cutting-edge designs and top-secret prototypes are all hallmarks of the military industrial complex.
It's how they produce all their beautiful toys: the stealth fighters, nuclear submarines and flying fortresses that are the cornerstone of our childhood fantasies and Michael Bay movies. But what happens when you get bored of your new toys? Why, you just toss them out into the middle of a field somewhere. Sure, they are worth a billion dollars and took dozens of years of intricate design and revision, but have you ever built a garage? That shit is hard. #6. Via Wikipedia Pack up your towel, your shaky folding chairs, your ineffective cooler and those hilarious shorts that make it look like you're naked from the waist down, because you, sir or madam, are going to tear it up at the beach. Via Themaritimeblog.comHalf of us just got tetanus simply from looking at that. Via Wikipedia Now looks like this: Via Scotthaefner.comWait, is that ...?
#5. Via Englishrussia.com. 5 Reasons Immortality Would be Worse than Death. Time Speeds Up Until You're Insane How many of you out there are old enough to notice time speeding up? For those of you who aren't, can you remember when you were a kid and the school year finally ended and the summer was about to begin? It seemed like you'd been waiting half your life for it, while at the exact same time your mom was going, "Gah! Summer is here ALREADY?! " The fact is your perception of time speeds up with age. It's just math. Every year of your life seems shorter than the previous one since each passing year represents smaller and smaller portions of your life.
So when you're 100 years-old, a minute will seem six seconds long compared to a minute when you were 10. "What was her name? Live to be a million, and people will seem to be just exploding in and out of existence around you, like a time lapse video of a mountain slowly eroding over eons while cities and nations appear and disappear around it, unnoticed. See, this is why Dr. Now what? 6 People Who Defied Gravity (And Then Kicked It in the Nuts) Gravity sucks. It's always keeping us down, preventing cars from hovering and cruelly denying people the God-given right to have Inception-like fights on the ceiling of hotel hallways.
And yet, despite limitations, brave people throughout history have heroically told gravity to go straight to hell. And some of them even lived through it. #6. Getty We're pretty sure that Colonel William Rankin experienced something that no other member of the human species has experienced. Rankin was flying along in his fighter jet in 1959, zipping over some storm clouds at about 50,000 feet. Getty"Clouds are nature's soggy pillows. This being summer and North Carolina, Rankin wasn't exactly dressed for a blizzard. First, massive updrafts kept thrusting him back up into the storm, again and again. Fedoradudescommentary.blogspot.comWe repeat: This man almost drowned ... in the sky. Unfortunately, Rankin did die after the incident. . #5. WikiFurther proof that no sane man has that mustache. #4. 7 People From Around the World With Real Mutant Superpowers. They walk among us! Some even fly among us! They may even take the bus among us from time to time! Homosapiens-Superior is here, and can do things that have scientists scratching their heads.
We're carefully tracking their progress, so that one day soon we may gather them together and fight crime. Or maybe commit crimes. We haven't decided yet. Real Name: Unknown Uberboy's name is being kept secret, presumably to protect the lives of his loved ones once Uberboy dons a mask and begins patrolling the streets of the world righting wrongs. Superpower: Bona fide Super-Strength. One day in 1999 a little baby boy was born in Germany, at first glance no different from any other. But how did this happen? It's not clear what will happen as Uberboy grows up. What we do know is that at 4-years-old, Uberboy could lift six times more weight than an average kid. Real Name: Ben Underwood Superpower: Super Echolocation That's a fancy way of saying he can "see" with sounds. Wait, video games? 10 Creepy Plants That Shouldn't Exist. We spend a lot of time here at Cracked pointing out horrors of nature that slither on the land and lurch through the sea.
But staying under the radar in nature's landscape of nightmares is the twisted carnival of things that grow out of the ground. Like ... Bleeding Tooth Fungus The bleeding tooth fungus looks kind of like a wad of chewing gum that leaks blood like a rejected prop from The Shining. They're also called the strawberries and cream, the red-juice tooth, and the devil's tooth. Whoever is in charge of naming scary bullshit seems really insistent that this thing looks like a tooth, while mostly skirting over the fact that it freaking sweats blood. Oh, and they are listed as "inedible," which implies that someone attempted to eat one at some point. Chinese Black Batflowers There's a good reason that Batman uses bat imagery to strike terror into the hearts of Gotham's criminals, rather than, say, some kind of shrew. ... and here ... Oh, sorry that last one was an actual bat. 6 "Non-Lethal" Weapons That'll Make You Wish You Were Dead. 5 Real Life Soldiers Who Make Rambo Look Like a Pussy.
5 Seemingly Random Factors That Control Your Memory. 6 Real People With Mind-Blowing Mutant Superpowers. The 6 Most Terrifying Foods in the World. 5 Seemingly Harmless Things That Are Stressing You Out. 8 Things You Won't Believe Plants Do When No One's Looking. 5 Things You Won't Believe Are Making You Dumber. 6 Badass Tricks You Can (But Shouldn't) Do With Electricity. The 7 Most Terrifying Rejected TV Ads. The 6 Most Badass Murder Weapons in the Animal Kingdom. 5 Insane Ways Words Can Control Your Mind. 6 Ways Your Sense of Smell Is Secretly Controlling Your Mind. 5 Creepy Forms of Mind Control You're Exposed to Daily.
The 5 Most Spectacular Landscapes on Earth (That Murder You) 7 WTF Military Weapons You Won't Believe They Actually Built.