Citizen of the Month » The Incident in The Car. When I was in high school, there was a girl I liked in my class. She was smart and pretty, and she came from a wealthy family. I came from the “other side” of Queens, so our relationship had all of the potential of a Lifetime movie. One spring day, after math club, I walked her home. I bought her an ice cream cone at Baskin-Robbins. We sat in the sun and talked about how our SAT scores were going to determine the rest of our lives. The fact that we were sitting there together was a sign that she liked me. That weekend, a group of our friends went to “the city” to see some movie at the Ziegfeld Theater on the big screen. To this day, I do not remember what the movie was that we saw at the Ziegfeld or what we did afterward. As we drove home, we took the same seats in the car. I turned to her in the back seat. The next five seconds have haunted me for decades. I didn’t speak to anyone for the rest of the trip home.
The scars of others should teach us caution. « Spin Me I Pulsate. There was the time the neighbour liked to touch me, numerous times, mostly blocked from my memory. I’ve bored myself with those stories. There was the boy who cornered me in an old rusted stairwell, whimpering in his older voice that this was how we played hide and seek, and he had found me, and he could do what he wanted, his hands like fingerless paws on my skin. There was the boy who thought playing Go-Bots or whatever we were playing meant he could put his hands down the back of my pants before I squirmed away, startled. The boys who played me like a fiddle between them, daring each other to see how far the sad eyed girl would go. The boy who thought coercion meant ok. The friends of my father who leered and tried to grab. About then I got big enough to hurt back, and mostly, it stopped.
All have left their marks. There’s a kerfuffle, which I won’t link to because drama? I understand speaking of it all. We make mistakes, all of us. They build. I’m much stronger than any of those boys. OrdinaryArt » Blog Archive » Silence is a Weapon Women Use Again. MaggieDammit: I've got to pull away, res... Citizen of the Month » Next Post. Let’s see, Sophia’s step-father is in the hospital, I am struggling with my marriage, and I have work stress. What can I do for a little relaxation? How about I write a blog post where I present myself as a horrible person?! Why did I write the last post? Here’s the truth. I’ve been sleeping in the same bed as Sophia, and we sometimes end up doing something called “the tushy-push,” where we end up sleeping back to back, our behinds touching each other.
Two nights ago, I thought about how much I missed sleeping with someone in bed — the human contact. I was a little uncomfortable writing this, but I figured most of you know me long enough now that I can create a fuller character. I’m not sure you can make any generalizations from the story, as if I was an asshole in high school and a great guy now. Recommended for you Real Writer: Halloween Story, 2013 “Do you know what makes a piece of writing go viral on the web?” Citizen of the Month » Last Post On This. I had a very long conversation with Maggie Dammit this morning, and she helped me understanding why the post I wrote two days ago upset so many of my online friends — too many of you have been just like this girl in the car. There’s not much more I can say about this incident from years ago. What I’d like to walk away with is an understanding that this was aggression towards a woman, and I was a jerk towards her.
I was rather clueless when I published this post. I had no idea that it would provoke such intense emotions. That is a problem in itself. I don’t think most men realize how many women walk around with painful memories. I spoke a great deal with Maggie about this comment from my friend, Deb on the Rocks: I have never been quite sure if your crushes, your proclamations about women’s physical attributes, and your impulsivity/agressiveness on Twitter was humor or truth.
This comment bothered me, because it is about NOW, not the past. Thanks. Ordinaryart: @Neilochka I'll admit I re... Ordinaryart: I find it interesting that... Neil Kramer: @ordinaryart I edited it b... Neil Kramer: What I am learning is that...