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The Internet makes people crazy. We all know this. The guy on the message board who just called you a shitclown for owning a different video game console than him probably would have been perfectly polite had you met in real life. In fact, we're thinking it's time they updated the psychological diagnostic manuals with this list of new disorders that only seem to kick in once the person opens a web browser.
In the eyes of the average person, ballet is little more than a surefire cure for insomnia, despite consisting largely of flexible girls in revealing clothing. Composer Igor Stravinsky knew this, and wanted to set some space between himself and his boring-ass brethren. So, when he composed his 1913 Rite of Spring ballet, he figured he'd give the audience something different. Supervillain different. ballet.co.uk We assume he put on an extravagant costume and wildly exaggerated all his movements.
Perseverance is what makes mankind great. Where would we be if George Washington stayed home smoking his weed and boning his slaves? How many of us would still be masturbating to our mom's old issues of Glamour if the guys who invented the Internet hadn't stuck with it?
We all laugh when some nutjob calls 911 because McDonald's ran out of McNuggets . But the world is full of crazy people, they all own phones and 911 is the one number they all know. We shouldn't be surprised. No, the horror stories happen when regular folk in an emergency call 911 and find the craziness happening at the other end of the line.
Hollywood, we have to talk. I’ve spoken to every ticket-buyer in America and we’ve all decided that you need to make more movies about badass women. Like, starting yesterday. Oh sure, every now and then you will throw us a Salt or maybe even a Salt II , but face it, Hollywood, many of your attempts at a woman-driven action movies have been half-assed at best and soul-crushingly awful at worst (see Electra, Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li , or, dear God, Sucker Punch ). It should not be that hard, Hollywood. All we, the ticket-buying public of America want is a good story about a woman or a bunch of women who fight and shoot and do other badass things badassedly.
The universe is full of weird substances like liquid metal and whatever preservative keeps Larry King alive. But mankind isn't happy to accept the weirdness of nature when we can create our own abominations of science that, due to the miracle of technology, spit in nature's face and call it retarded. That's why we came up with... What do you get when you suspend nanoparticles of iron compounds in a colloidal solution of water, oil and a surfactant?
Fire is awesome. And dangerous. Fortunately for us, people who enjoy toeing the line of complete self immolation for the sake of a brief spectacle continue to find creative ways to satisfy their urges, and to post them on YouTube. We're comfortable showing you these without fear that you'll accidentally torch yourself and everyone you love because one, they're fairly complicated to pull off and involve stuff you probably don't have lying around the house; and two, we have faith our readers are not morons. Still, we're leaving this warning for when you come back and read this while feeling drunk and adventurous: Don't do any of these yourself, ever. Turn Bacon (Or a Cucumber) Into a Welding Torch
All right, so how the hell do you get milk to explode? Well, first you have to take the water out of it, and get powdered milk (a primary ingredient in things such as baby formula and chocolate candy). However, if its particles become suspended in the air and are somehow ignited, the resulting fire is oxygenated so quickly that you've got yourself a dust explosion .
A conservative commentator recently made headlines by claiming 10 percent of all of the world's Muslims are terrorists . An amazing claim, considering that equals 150 million terrorists and if each were to pull off an attack killing just 40 people, they could exterminate all non-Muslim life on earth. Either they're not all that dedicated to terrorism, or the claim is utter insanity. Well, if there's one thing everyone thinks of when they hear "Cracked.com" it's "friend of Islam." Which is why we feel compelled to clarify a few misconceptions for our readers.
Riot Shields Make Good Sleds Ah, the humble riot shield: Whether it's bashing in the faces of hippies, liberals, college students, or hippie liberal college students, the riot shield is the premier emblem of police brutality and oppression by the man worldwide. And now, also for sledding! No, that isn't really a euphemism for something terrible.
History is full of great men and women who laid down their lives for a cause they believed in. What the history books don't tell you about, however, is the small handful of bull-headed people who've given their lives for causes that really didn't matter to anyone but them. Here are six people who proved a very important point: It's really easy to die doing something retarded. What He Tried to Prove: That he was both an awesome inventor and that the law of gravity simply did not apply to him.