6 New Personality Disorders Caused by the Internet. The Internet makes people crazy. We all know this. The guy on the message board who just called you a shitclown for owning a different video game console than him probably would have been perfectly polite had you met in real life. In fact, we're thinking it's time they updated the psychological diagnostic manuals with this list of new disorders that only seem to kick in once the person opens a web browser.
Online Intermittent Explosive Disorder (a.k.a. The Thin-Skinned Rage-o-holic) Like serial killers, these people seem pretty normal at first. In Real Life it's Called... Intermittent Explosive Disorder. Out in the real world, IED is an impulse control disorder that can make a person act like their entire family has been murdered just because Burger King forgot to put their fries in the bag. This guy just found out the movie he wanted to go to is sold out. IED Guy: Hey guys I made this Photoshop, can I get some constructive criticism? (This continues for 2,000 words or so). The 5 Most Embarrassing Things Angry Mobs Have Rioted Over. #2. A Ballet In the eyes of the average person, ballet is little more than a surefire cure for insomnia, despite consisting largely of flexible girls in revealing clothing. Composer Igor Stravinsky knew this, and wanted to set some space between himself and his boring-ass brethren. So, when he composed his 1913 Rite of Spring ballet, he figured he'd give the audience something different.
Supervillain different. ballet.co.ukWe assume he put on an extravagant costume and wildly exaggerated all his movements. First, he made it all about pagan rituals and sacrifice. Wikipedia"My inspiration? Then he just unleashed the whole thing unto the unsuspecting ballet crowd, possibly cackling maniacally behind a metal mask throughout. The Riot: The Paris premiere for Stravinsky's ballet didn't go as smoothly as planned. After just a couple of minutes of discordant music and spastic dancing, the crowd began to boo and make catcalls. NvbesAll that jerking around was perfect for dodging missiles. #1.
7 People Who Never Gave Up (But Absolutely Should Have) Perseverance is what makes mankind great. Where would we be if George Washington stayed home smoking his weed and boning his slaves? How many of us would still be masturbating to our mom's old issues of Glamour if the guys who invented the Internet hadn't stuck with it? But for some people, perseverance beats them up, slaps them around and makes them dance around in a pretty pink dress. These are the people who should have known when to quit... but didn't. Troy Hurtubise, Bear Fighter His Dream: Designing and constructing grizzly bear-proof armor. His Quest: The strange journey of Troy Hurtubise begins with two seemingly unrelated events. Three years later, when he was in college, Hurtubise was struck with the inspiration to build a grizzly-proof suit of armor while watching Robocop.
"Your move, Bear. " But Should Have Quit Before... Hurtubise spent the next seven years and over $150,000 constructing this: Keep in mind that this is the Mark VI. Darius McCollum, Train Thief "Hey. Her Quest: 5 Horrifying Tales Of 911 Incompetence. We all laugh when some nutjob calls 911 because McDonald's ran out of McNuggets. But the world is full of crazy people, they all own phones and 911 is the one number they all know. We shouldn't be surprised. No, the horror stories happen when regular folk in an emergency call 911 and find the craziness happening at the other end of the line. For instance. . . Nashville Operator Doesn't Give a Shit People have been known to call 911 for some pretty stupid reasons: keys locked in the car, slow traffic, loud fireworks, knife wielding ex-boyfriends breaking in the house threatening to kill them.
After her first call went unanswered, Jones called back and got fantastic news. What could be more important than a potential stabbing? But the shenanigans don't stop there. Nice. So, What Happened? Fortunately, Jones's boyfriend never did get around to actually killing her, presumably because even he started feeling sorry for her after the police failed to show. We use this pic whenever we can. Nope! 8 Real Women Who Deserve Their Own Movies. Hollywood, we have to talk. I’ve spoken to every ticket-buyer in America and we’ve all decided that you need to make more movies about badass women.
Like, starting yesterday. Oh sure, every now and then you will throw us a Salt or maybe even a Salt II, but face it, Hollywood, many of your attempts at a woman-driven action movies have been half-assed at best and soul-crushingly awful at worst (see Electra, Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li, or, dear God, Sucker Punch). It should not be that hard, Hollywood. All we, the ticket-buying public of America want is a good story about a woman or a bunch of women who fight and shoot and do other badass things badassedly. And guess what? You don’t even have to make up any stories on your own. Don’t know where to start, Hollywood? 8. Lozen was the sister of an Apache chief. 7.
Seriously, I don’t know, I actually never saw Top Gun. 6. Seriously, guys, Robin Hood and King Arthur probably never existed. 5. 4. 3. 2. Yay, more elephants! 1. 7 Man-Made Substances that Laugh in the Face of Physics. The universe is full of weird substances like liquid metal and whatever preservative keeps Larry King alive. But mankind isn't happy to accept the weirdness of nature when we can create our own abominations of science that, due to the miracle of technology, spit in nature's face and call it retarded. That's why we came up with... #7. Ferrofluids What do you get when you suspend nanoparticles of iron compounds in a colloidal solution of water, oil and a surfactant?
A ferrofluid is a liquid that reacts to magnetic fields in trippy ways that make you think that science is both magical and potentially evil. Tell us that didn't look like the birth of the most sinister dildo ever. What happens is that when a magnetic field is applied to the fluid, the particles of iron compound inside align to it. What the Hell is it Used For? #6. It's not the brick in the picture up there, it's the stuff under the brick.
Every once in a while, science rules. #5. 6 Badass Tricks You Can Do With Fire (That Might Kill You) Fire is awesome. And dangerous. Fortunately for us, people who enjoy toeing the line of complete self immolation for the sake of a brief spectacle continue to find creative ways to satisfy their urges, and to post them on YouTube. We're comfortable showing you these without fear that you'll accidentally torch yourself and everyone you love because one, they're fairly complicated to pull off and involve stuff you probably don't have lying around the house; and two, we have faith our readers are not morons. Still, we're leaving this warning for when you come back and read this while feeling drunk and adventurous: Don't do any of these yourself, ever. Turn Bacon (Or a Cucumber) Into a Welding Torch Why waste bacon by stuffing it into a cheeseburger or feeding the homeless when you could be using it to cut through steel?
Next, wrap the hardened bacon in more bacon, continually resisting the urge to dip it in a jar of mayonnaise and shove it into your mouth, and continue baking it. 6 Things That Shouldn't Explode (But Did Anyway) All right, so how the hell do you get milk to explode? Well, first you have to take the water out of it, and get powdered milk (a primary ingredient in things such as baby formula and chocolate candy). However, if its particles become suspended in the air and are somehow ignited, the resulting fire is oxygenated so quickly that you've got yourself a dust explosion. A fucking serious one, too. Some of the aftermath in this video looks like the result of a B-52 bombing run: The dust explosion works the same way that a carburetor does by mixing a burnable material with air.
You know how I do. That's exactly what happened at an evaporated-milk processing plant in Visalia, California in 2008. All told, the explosion caused $200,000 worth of damage and the evacuation of some 200 factory employees, victims of the wrath of dehydrated dairy. Lithium-ion batteries are turning up in lots of consumer electronics these days, including cell phones, laptops and mp3 players. How? 5 Ridiculous Things You Probably Believe About Islam. A conservative commentator recently made headlines by claiming 10 percent of all of the world's Muslims are terrorists. An amazing claim, considering that equals 150 million terrorists and if each were to pull off an attack killing just 40 people, they could exterminate all non-Muslim life on earth.
Either they're not all that dedicated to terrorism, or the claim is utter insanity. Well, if there's one thing everyone thinks of when they hear "Cracked.com" it's "friend of Islam. " Which is why we feel compelled to clarify a few misconceptions for our readers. Also, there is no way this article will ever come back to haunt us in any way. #5. For millions of people in the West, when you say "Islam," the first mental image that pops into mind is this: A two-person Scotch-garded version would sell like hotcakes.
A woman covered head to toe in a burqa. Look at them there, plotting new ways to drive super-slow in the HOV lane. But Actually... Thinking that all Muslim women have to dress like this... The 6 Most Ingenious Misuses of Military Hardware. Riot Shields Make Good Sleds Ah, the humble riot shield: Whether it's bashing in the faces of hippies, liberals, college students, or hippie liberal college students, the riot shield is the premier emblem of police brutality and oppression by the man worldwide.
And now, also for sledding! No, that isn't really a euphemism for something terrible. Wait, what? It's strong plastic, perfectly smooth and even a little concave -- just like all the best ad-hoc sleds. "Wee! That's right: When they're not busting unions and skulls in equal measure, riot police have been spotted gleefully sliding down hillsides like children after the first snowfall. "Guys, no!
These officers were reprimanded for misuse of police equipment after the video first leaked, because riot gear is astoundingly expensive: That's precisely engineered, bulletproof material that the cops are doing their bitchin' jumps off of. Mail via Cruise Missile FedEx ain't shit. Cruise missiles were once used to deliver the mail. "Shit. 6 People Who Died In Order To Prove A (Retarded) Point. History is full of great men and women who laid down their lives for a cause they believed in. What the history books don't tell you about, however, is the small handful of bull-headed people who've given their lives for causes that really didn't matter to anyone but them.
Here are six people who proved a very important point: It's really easy to die doing something retarded. What He Tried to Prove: That he was both an awesome inventor and that the law of gravity simply did not apply to him. The Method:Franz Reichelt, a tailor by trade, dreamed of inventing a fashion accessory that would allow a person to float safely to the ground after falling from a great height (perhaps after jumping out of one of those new-fangled flying machines they were experimenting with at the time). What He Actually Proved: Newton's law of universal gravitation. "Ladies, gentlemen... behold! Reichelt's "coat parachute," pictured above, was supposed to function in the same way as a modern parachute.
"Ha ha! Ouch.