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"Honest Shopping Mall Map" by Owen Parsons on CollegeHumor
Quite the earful So back when my cat was still in his kitten phase I found him on one of the tables in my house. He was scratching his ear with his back paw and had gotten his paw stuck in the ear. This caused him to freak out and pull even harder, so hard that he pulled himself off the table and landed on the floor with a large thud.
"9 Things Us 90's Kids Realize Now" by Christopher Hudspeth on CollegeHumor
Doug Funny undeservingly put Patty on a pedestal. That’s right, Patty Mayonnaise is arguably the most overrated piece of cartoon ass that I’ve ever seen. Doug was always willing to do anything Patty wanted at the drop of a dime and I never understood why. I know it’s difficult to judge a cartoon by her looks but I can think of a long list of female cartoons that were far more aesthetically pleasing. TGIF ’s 1995 lineup of Family Matters, Boy Meets World, Step By Step & Hangin’ With Mr. Cooper was epic.
"9 Things Us 90's Kids Realize Now (Part II)" by Christopher Hudspeth on CollegeHumor
It beats Adam West’s portrayal back in 1000 B.C. It tops George Clooney’s hard nipple bat suit and it damn sure beats Christian Bale’s “on the toilet after eating Chipotle” Batman voice. The morning after pill, whiteout, tape, glue, Ctrl+Z — these are some of the great quick fixes in the world. BUT , none of them compare to blowing. That’s right, all it took was a huff, a puff and a blow into the cartridge and BOOM , it magically worked."If Ikea Made Instructions for Everything" by Caldwell Tanner and Susanna Wolff on CollegeHumor
Fighting fire with fire. I worked in a small fast food restaurant for two years. Only once has anyone ever played the "Fire in the Hole" prank on me. Fortunately I had heard of it before, and I managed to duck out of the way on time, but it got all of my supplies soaking wet, meaning we'd have to throw away about $30 worth of straws and napkins, not to mention the meals the customers behind them had ... Read More » ordered that we already had ready. Naturally, I was pissed.
"If Videogames Were Named After the Phrases Said Most While Playing Them" by Tommy on CollegeHumor
Emails are not websites. My mom and I had both received invites to my childhood friend's bridal shower. Over the phone my mom asked if I'd RSVPd, which I easily had through email. She then told me she couldn't get "into it" to respond.
Not the prom night surprise I was expecting. I told my date a million times to wear a purple tie, and he showed up in a blue one that looked horrible next to my dress. I told him to go get a tie from my dad's closet to take pictures. When he came out, he had a huge smile on his face and started whispering to all our friends we were sharing the limo with. One of them told me later he had found my dad's old porn magazines.