Low income college graduates excluded from elite institutions, upward mobility. 5 Big News Stories That Left Out the Most Important Part. News stories are often more about the shock factor than the actual relaying of information.
The news media is in and out quicker than a high school kid on prom night, hyping up the most outlandish elements of a story and then dropping it like it's an infant (for the sake of this simile, the news media is the parent of a future TLC reality show star). And apparently, that's just the way we like it. That's too bad, because these stories look very different when you hear how they ended ... #5. Faster-Than-Light Neutrino Disproves the Theory of Relativity! Getty Scientists seem to take a perverse sort of pleasure in trying to prove Albert Einstein wrong, we guess because calling the smartest man in history out on a mistake means that everyone else moves up one notch. WikipediaGood call, dumbass. 6 Sensible Things You Should Never Do in a Zombie Outbreak. If you have any kind of active fantasy life, you've got at least a vague idea of what you're going to do when society turns into zombies.
Maybe you've picked a favorite weapon or a defendable location. People argue about the best zombie survival plans like it's a religion, and it sort of is, because unless something extremely unlikely happens, we will have wasted billions of hours on pointless speculation and planning. This is not an article to debunk survival methods. 5 Ways the Modern World Is Killing Nostalgia. Remember when you were a kid and you did, you know, stuff?
Hold on to that. Hold on to the act of remembering, because we're killing it as surely as E! Is killing the definition of entertainment. Modern technology, as awesome as it is, also hates your sense of nostalgia and is circle booting it in a field like so many unreliable copy machines. "But Ian," you begin, unbuttoning your blouse, "I remember all kinds of things from my childhood! " #5. Getty. 4 Words That Someone Should Have Invented by Now. I bump into things a lot, I stutter, I'm not tall enough to scare anyone and I sweat so much that no business can actually insure me if I'm doing any work that involves regularly using my hands.
As a result, I deal exclusively with words as my job, right here at Cracked.com. Words are literally the only thing I can be trusted with (and I'm not even grate with words all the thyme, if I'm being honest). I've spent a lot of time around words, so I've learned which ones are terrible and should be removed from the dictionary entirely, but I've also found our collective vocabulary seriously lacking. Every once in a while, I see moments where I have to explain a situation in full sentences, because one word to represent that situation doesn't exist. And I hate using lots of words instead of one word, because I am a whirling, twirling, spinning, terrifying, motherfucking hurricane of efficiency. 6 True Stories That Will Restore Your Faith in Humanity.
Fun fact: If people were actually as bad as we say they are, civilization could not exist.
So while the headlines are dominated by our weekly mass shootings, the reality is that day to day, we common folk make little sacrifices for each other and let insults slide and feel bad when we act like douchebags. Once the riot is over, cops and rioters will both stand and make small talk in the same line at Burger King. Via Chicago Tribune"If anyone disagrees with this place having the best chicken nuggets, I will change your mind with pepper spray.
" 5 Seemingly Harmless Things That Are Stressing You Out. Ever fly into a rage for no reason?
You think you're calm, but something comes along and pricks your balloon, and suddenly you're screaming at the car in front of you to JUST GO JESUS CHRIST IT'S GOING TO BE YELLOW FOR LIKE THREE MORE SECONDS. It's almost like you were stressed out and on the verge of snapping for hours before that. But that's strange -- you didn't feel stressed out. There's no life crisis going on at the moment. Well, the hormones that trigger what we call "stress" are affected by all sorts of seemingly harmless things that science is just beginning to understand.
. #5. 6 One-of-a-Kind Things You Won't Believe Had Duplicates. They say that there's nothing new under the sun, and that applies to more things than you realize.
Whether you're talking about famous historical events or entire cities, the real world often winds up feeling a lot like Groundhog Day. #6. 6 Shockingly Evil Things Babies Are Capable Of. As anyone who's ever encountered babies in the wild can tell you, they're shiftless little balls of deception and greed.
Those of us who stand up to walk, and sit down to poop may not be Mother Theresa, but it turns out we had a long way to go from our babbling drooling selves. 7 Mind-Blowing Ways Jobs Are Being Outsourced to Animals. In this economy, millions of workers know what it's like to have their job outsourced to another country, or to get replaced by a robot. It's hard to hear that all of your advanced skill and dedication can be replaced at a fraction of the cost. What would be worse than that?
Hearing that your job is now being done by an animal. Because we're telling you, animals are figuring this stuff out. Also, they don't complain and they don't get paid. . #7. Getty First of all, yes, this is a tiny horse wearing sneakers. 5 Scientific Explanations Behind Everyday Nuisances. #2.
Salt That Clumps in the Shaker Clumped-up salt is a common nuisance and a gateway to many an awkward situation, as anyone who has been walked in on while hammering the salt shaker with an ice pick can attest to. 5 Reasons Immortality Would be Worse than Death. If you're reading this, congratulations on having achieved the primary goal with which we begin each day: You have avoided death.
We're big on this idea of not dying. We love stories of immortal vampires and invincible superheroes, each of us wishing on some level that was us. If we didn't have to worry about death, we could finally get shit done. 5 Things You Won't Believe Are Making You Dumber. Tell people that their diets or habits are making them fat or out of shape and they shrug -- we hear that crap every day. Tell them that their habits make them stupider and you're about to have a fight. We all know that our brain is a part of our body, but nobody likes to think of their intelligence as something that can get weak and flabby due to things that are out of our control.
Science says otherwise. Studies have shown ... #5. Getty. 5 Popular Forms of Charity (That Aren't Helping) Giving to charity is one of the most selfless things you can do. You're giving away your hard-earned money and expecting nothing in return, save the personal satisfaction of making the world just a little bit better (and the unquantifiable moral superiority you get to feel for a while).
It's easy, too -- literally all you need is whatever cash you can spare and a tiny bit of awareness as to who you're going to give it to. So by all means, do it. Just please, please avoid messing it all up with one of these mistakes. 6 Mind-Blowing Things People Built in their Backyard. If you are lucky enough to have a backyard instead of just, say, an alley full of garbage cans or the ass end of your neighbor's trailer, you probably feel like a hero just for keeping the grass cut.
Maybe if you're really ambitious, you've done some landscaping, or maybe you're handy and have built a deck. It really doesn't matter -- whatever you've got back there doesn't compare to these mind-boggling one-man projects ... #6. The Miniature Paris. 5 Ways to Trick Your Body Into Being More Awesome. You might know that the main way our body regulates its biological clock (and circadian rhythm) is through light. So when your brain is detecting light, it has your body behave as it should in the daytime (higher energy, greater strength, more bowel movements, etc.), and when the brain notices that the environment is dark after an extended period of brightness, then it imagines you're about to go to sleep, and it releases hormones (like melatonin) that make you sleepy.
What you might not have known is that scientists recently found a second clock, and instead of depending on light, this one is food-based. The food-clock desires this. 7 Real Suits That Will Soon Make the World A Cooler Place. From the gilded chest plate of the Greek demigods to the worsted wool of the modern day word warrior (me), humanity inherently understands the power of a suit. Every CEO, every super hero, every high-powered lesbian knows that a good suit can change the way the world sees the wearer. 14 Photographs That Shatter Your Image of Famous People. 6 Saints With Superpowers Straight from the Marvel Universe.
If your only knowledge of Christian saints is that certain holidays and cities are named after them, hang on to your asses. Some of these guys went down in history because they supposedly could fly, slay dragons and function without heads. Here are the saints who were only an adamantium skeleton away from joining the X-Men. 5 Bad Ideas for Dealing With Bullies You Learned in Movies. Recently, I've had several people ask if I could talk about bullying. I'll be perfectly honest here, I had no idea what I could possibly say about the subject. When I was in school, we just kind of had to deal with it as best we could, any advice coming from sitcoms and movies about nerds overcoming jocks by recording their girlfriends naked in the bathroom. 10 Common Words You Had No Idea Were Onomatopoeias. Whether it's the "Pow! " of Batman punching somebody in the face or the "Whop!
" of somebody punching Batman in the face, onomatopoeias are everywhere in our culture. 5 Real Animal Friendships Straight Out of a Disney Movie. Cartoons notwithstanding, we are generally raised with the knowledge that animals kill one another. 6 Isolated Groups Who Had No Idea That Civilization Existed. The 6 Most Certifiably Insane Acts of Writing. Fun fact: All writers are crazy, to some degree. 5 Simple Things That Every Bad Cook Does Wrong. 5 Ways College Accidentally Prepares You for the Real World. My freshman year of college was filled with some pretty depressing realizations. After all, like so many high school kids, I'd dreamed of college as a magical place where all petty, small-minded behaviors would magically float away. 5 Ways You Don't Realize Movies Are Controlling Your Brain. So there was a mass shooting during a Batman movie and, goddamn it, it turned out the killer owned a Batman mask and called himself "The Joker. " By now, several talking heads have come to the conclusion that the movie somehow triggered the massacre, or whatever.
You know the game at this point -- sadly, we've seen this whole cycle play out more than once. As always, this knee-jerk reaction by old, scared talking heads will predictably result in most of our audience scoffing and saying that movies can't influence people to do anything, because movies are make-believe and every non-crazy member of the audience knows how to separate fact from fiction. Well, the thing is ... that is equally wrong. But not for the reason the talking heads think. #5. Getty.