7 Creepy Urban Legends That Happen to Be True (Part 6) Well, it's that time of year again. Specifically, the time of year when we make you shit your pants with stories that sound like they must have been made up, but are actually terrifyingly true. We have done this five times before, and somehow humanity keeps topping itself ... #7. The Homemade Self-Decapitation Machine Photos.com The Legend: As humans, we're pretty emotionally attached to our heads, which probably explains why there are so many urban legends that incorporate accidental or intentional decapitation ("Then the man fell out of the elevator ...
Well, buckle up. Photos.comDon't let the picture fool you -- there's nothing wacky or cute about what you're about to read. The Truth: Usually, when cops get a call about a domestic disturbance, it's just another day at the office. "Come on out so we can have sex with you. And that's when one of the firefighters noticed the wire around the driver's neck ... the wire that went out the back window and was snugly tied to a tree 10 feet away. The 6 Most Spectacular Low Points of Modern Pop Culture. Brothers and sisters of the Internet, we are living in a Golden Age of the strange. On any given day, you may see Germans declare war against all ice and motherfuckers or watch the proud people of Norwegia have some time with traditional burga moving.
Yet in the lifespan of every medium there is a sweet spot -- a place where the perfect timing meets the perfect failure or the perfect enthusiasm to create a moment of sublime insanity that will never be duplicated. Let's look back on the "best" moments from six different areas of America's rich and absurd pop culture. #6. Literature -- How to Be Famous, 2009 There have always been and will always be celebrities who are famous for nothing. The fact that they exist tends to baffle and infuriate industrious people, but that's a good thing -- uniting in our disgust of objectively terrible people is how we won World War II.
Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were probably the worst examples of this. Huh. Does the book work? #5. Gasp! #4. 5 Reasons the Scariest Thing Ever Written Is a Kids' Book. When we were kids in the '80s, pornography was hidden from our eyes for fear it would warp us -- and with good reason. The only way we could see a skin mag was to sneak into the homeless camp at the abandoned drive-in, brain a hobo with a log and take the porn from his lifeless corpse. Now you're a murderer, and it's all because some people look good naked. These days, of course, you can have any kind of porn you want on the Internet, and it won't cost you anything more than some Russian spyware recording your every keystroke. But that horny time was still better than this porny one. (Unless you're a hobo. But if you are, why are you on the Internet? HarperCollins I am more scared of these stories than I am of real dangers. I know you young people think you know horror, what with all the sea monsters and Australian people Cracked gives you the phobias about, but the liquid terror of these books fueled enough nightmares to run Elm Street out of business.
. #5. This is Harold. HarperCollins. The 6 Most Eerily Convincing Ghost Videos on YouTube. YouTube is full of "This is totally real, guys" ghost videos, and if you don't spend at least one night around Halloween browsing through a bunch of them, you're not truly getting into the spirit of the holiday. Here are what we consider the most eerily convincing videos in the genre.* *Note: Science has found zero empirical evidence for the existence of ghosts, aliens, demons or any other supernatural creatures, and these videos will surely not fool an expert in video fakery. Unless he or she watches them alone, late at night, in the dark. Then they become very convincing. #6. Getty It's just a dude strolling through the woods in Russia, when he sees something ... weird: Approximately 99 percent of "supernatural" videos can be revealed as hoaxes simply by asking "Why was anyone filming this?
" Twist ending: The dog is actually several smaller dogs in a suit. A Russian man is out filming his dog in the woods, waiting for something quantifiably adorable to happen. Um, in the ... uh, trees ... The 5 Most Embarrassing Ways Churches Are Trying to Be Hip. Church attendance is dwindling in this day and age, and churches are finally starting to realize that if they don't adapt, they're going to go extinct faster than gingers.
Hilariously, this is the best any of them have come up with so far ... #5. Church Plays Techno Music Like a Club Getty Since most young people these days spend their nights grinding up on each other while synthesized music tears apart their eardrums, priests at Church of All Saints in Stockholm decided that techno music was the obvious solution for recent attendance problems. And, because apparently there are no dance clubs in Sweden, it totally worked. . #4. Bbc.co.uk Sometimes, you just need to rub one out. . #3. Foxnews.com Because apparently we have such a great number of people who can't fit "Get a Tattoo" and "Go to Church" together on their busy schedules between "McDonald's Lunch" and "McDonald's 3 p.m. . #2. . #1. Getty. 4 Truly Scary Facts No One Tells You About Halloween.
To an alien species visiting Earth for the first time, Halloween must resemble a kind of sexy war. People and monsters stumble through the streets, slick with blood, knives plunged through their heads, while erotic nurses bounce between divisions, doing a terrible job of triage. Not even the children are spared. In fact, they are frenzied participants, screaming through the shadows with flaming bags of shit or hustling between cobwebbed houses carrying severed limbs and sacks of teeth-rotting courage all night long, or at least until curfew.
At the end of it all, everyone either passes out from overstimulation or has sex with a stranger; those are the only two options. Our forensics swap will be as mediocre as our costume choices! Halloween is a celebration of reckless indulgence, honoring the dead by living really hard for one night. . #4. Maybe you already know where this is headed. #3. Now that you are an adult with adult faculties, take a minute to really process that logic. 7 Bizarre Ways You Didn't Know 9/11 Changed the World. September 11, 2001 changed the world. Laws changed, regimes changed, the way we look at the world changed and the release date of the Tim Allen masterpiece Big Trouble changed because it featured a bomb on an airplane. But under all of that, the world was affected in a number of bizarre, unexpected ways that largely went unreported, for obvious reasons. But thanks to the action of a handful of terrorists ... #7. The World Got Hotter Getty In the wake of 9/11, something happened that most people never thought they'd see until the utter collapse of human civilization: completely empty skies.
Getty"Welp, it's the end. After the attacks, the U.S. government temporarily grounded every plane in the nation (including crop dusters and those little planes that tow ad banners -- no, that is not a joke). The problem with that is, unbeknownst to most, contrails (those white vapor trails that form out of airplane exhaust) act as mirrors, reflecting heat away from the Earth's surface.
. #6. How much? #5. The 5 Most Terrifying Civilizations In The History of the World. They say that those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it, so pay attention for Christ's sake. It turns out that many of our ancestors achieved levels of violence that take them right out of the realm of "badass" and into the less cool area of ball-shriveling atrocity. These are the civilizations you don't want to face during, say, your next time travel adventure.
And yes, the Spartans are down there. History is kind of spotty on the Celts (they never wrote anything down, and many of the witnesses died brutally) but what facts survived confirm one thing: They had gigantic Celtic balls. First of all, they had a thing for severed heads. After a long and trying battle they'd all unwind at the end of the day by collecting a few souvenir heads.
If they felt that yours was a head of particular importance, they'd embalm it and whip it out at parties to brag about how awesome they were. A modern Celt. So, Were They Really So Bad? Hey, remember Braveheart? Yes. Wait, it gets better! The 6 Most Terrifying Foods in the World. Humans are like goats. We'll eat any damned thing.
Just ask the people who make PowerBars. In fact, you'll find foods in this world that don't even seem possible. Not just that they could exist, but that people would actually stick this stuff in their mouths without a gun to their head. We've found six dishes that seemed to have sprung from Satan's own cookbook. From: Mexico. What the hell is it? The eggs have the consistency of cottage cheese. Wait, it gets worse ... Danger of this turning up in America: We're not sure Taco Bell hasn't snuck this shit into their food already. From: Sardinia, Italy. What the hell is it? Its translucent larvae are able to jump about 6 inches into the air, making this the only cheese that requires eye protection while eating.
Wait, it gets worse ... Danger of this turning up in America: There is significant danger here, as we're thinking the cheese companies have a lot of maggot stock in the back of their warehouse they'd like to get rid of. From: Norway. The 5 Most Depraved Sex Scenes from Important Cultural Myths. If you've spent time studying history at all, you probably already know that depraved sex acts are to religion as rock star groupies from the '70s are to depraved sex acts.
In other words, they go hand in hand. Or hand in some other body part, depending on who we're talking about. And since we've already covered wanton debauchery mentioned in the Bible, we thought it only fair to take a look at the kinkiest stories from other cultures around the world. #5. Loki Makes Horse-Rape Babies Via Wikipedia For most of us, if you mention Norse mythology, the name that comes to mind is Thor.
There's no amount of studs that will make this less homoerotic. Anyway, if you saw the movie based on the comic book adaptation of the character, you were also introduced to Thor's rival, Loki. The convoluted and frankly baffling legend goes like this: When it was time to build Valhalla, the gods hired out the job to a builder. Via WikipediaAs opposed to, you know, shooting it. It Gets Weirder #4. . #3. 5 Giant City-Wide Parties You Won’t Believe Are Real. #2. Talkeetna Moose Shit Festival Ken S. Carol's Place OK, the people of Talkeetna, Alaska, don't call it the Moose Shit Festival.
They go for the more polite but grossly misleading Moose Dropping Celebration. It's hard to imagine how many thousands of eager tourists show up ever year expecting to see moose chucked out of planes to be hilariously splattered on the rocks below, only to realize the "dropping" celebration is a festival honoring dung. We guess that's not that much less disturbing. There's more to the celebration than just the "What if helicopters could poop? " Eaton Farm CandiesEat shit, tourists! And moose-shit earrings: Studio ColdSee, there's this old saying about polishing turds ... Sadly, if this article has managed to convince you to mosey on up to Talkeetna, we're going to have to disappoint you again.
At the moose-shit festival. #1. Rapas das Bestas is not, as every single one of you is thinking, Spanish for "beast rape. " News.com.au.