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5 Scientific Reasons Your Idea of Happiness Is Wrong. Our two favorite subjects at Cracked are the elusive concept of human happiness and Batman.

5 Scientific Reasons Your Idea of Happiness Is Wrong

This article is about the first one. If you're looking for an answer to "How can I be happy? " then the response from the experts is, "You're asking the wrong question. " The better question is why our idea of happiness is so screwed up that most of us wouldn't recognize the real thing if we saw it. Well ... #5. Getty This should blow your mind: The entire concept that you can become happy via some action you can take is a relatively recent invention. Getty"I'd define happiness as less than four types of lice on my body. " Now, before everyone digs out their old goth clothes and screams, "Aha! See, the thing is that humans have never actually settled on what "happiness" is. Getty"I'd say I define happiness as less than three types of lice on my body. " Go back to ancient Greece and it's very simple: Happiness = Luck. Flash forward to Aristotle's day, 335-ish B.C.

Not Knowing What Else To Do, Woman Bakes American-Flag Cake. TOPEKA, KS—Feeling helpless in the wake of the horrible Sept. 11 terrorist attacks that killed thousands, Christine Pearson baked a cake and decorated it like an American flag Monday.

Not Knowing What Else To Do, Woman Bakes American-Flag Cake

Pearson "I had to do something to force myself away from the TV," said Pearson, 33, carefully laying rows of strawberry slices on the white-fudge-frosting-covered cake. "All of those people. Those poor people. I don't know what else to do. " Pearson, who had never before expressed feelings of patriotism in cake form, attributed the baking project to a loss of direction. "My friends Cassie and Patrick [Overstreet] invited me over to have dinner and just talk about, you know, everything," said Pearson, a Topeka legal secretary who has never visited and knows no one in either New York or Washington, D.C. Mixing the cake and placing it in the oven shortly after 3 p.m., Pearson sat at the kitchen table and stared at the oven door until the timer rang 50 minutes later.

Books to make my flist's heads explode: John Ringo. Lately, some folks on my f-list have been looking at Lord King Bad profic. brown_betty gave us LEOPARD LORD, and cereta reviewed THE SHEIK, and burger_eater pointed me to Smart Bitches, Trashy Books's take on Shayla Black's DECADENT.

books to make my flist's heads explode: John Ringo

These books, it should be admitted, are deeply awful, and as portrayals of their authors' ids, they're more than a little alarming. You don't want to look, but you can't look away. So why am I commenting about this? Permit me to introduce John Ringo. Ringo is the author of a bajillion books, including fantasy and military SF. He knew that at heart, he was a rapist. Ladies and gentlemen, *our hero You think that paragraph alone would make this book awesomely bad, but no. GHOST is Ringo's own admitted Lord King Badfic, his id run wild.

So his publisher put it out, and the books are now doing pretty well for them. Post Topic » The Internet Nice Guy Rears His Ugly Head Once More. This lament from “a Former Nice Guy” has been making the rounds of the blogosphere.

Post Topic » The Internet Nice Guy Rears His Ugly Head Once More

The fact that here and most especially over in particularly crazy-ass righty-land are falling over themselves in a rush to agree with this tripe only confirms my worst expectations. But let’s to it, shall we? I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I’d take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven’t figured it out.

What happened to all the nice guys? The answer is simple: you did. That’s not a resentful beginning at all! See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. Hey, wait, I know that guy! Seriously, who the fuck “tags along” with a girl when she goes shopping? How is this shit hard to figure out? The 7 Stupidest Things That Make People Proud. Some people pat themselves on the back for the strangest things.

The 7 Stupidest Things That Make People Proud

You know, people who think liking one band makes them a superior human being to someone who likes another band. Or people who think being able to copy and paste a quote from Douglas Adams into their signature makes them a profound thinker. Or people who are proud of this kind of crap: #7. Not Liking Something Popular There are some people who think proclaiming that Justin Bieber sucks is the freshest, most daring opinion since not liking sliced bread.