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News: September 20, 2010 New video! (maybe NSFW) If you like videos like this, check out our Facebook fan club ! Discuss this comic in the forum September 19, 2010 Hey kids!
"Grandfatherfucker" (Afatottari) Who Said That? Icelanders.
A responsible traveler won't set foot in another country without knowing how to viciously insult the people in their native language. Odds are, you won't even make it out of the airport before a situation arises that requires obscenities. But "obscenity" is an ever-moving target. It's an amalgamation of cultural taboos, the impact of current events and your mom. Accordingly, every country has developed a uniquely beautiful set of curses and insults that set it apart. While some insults are broadly accessible, like your mom, others will require a little background for the new student.
No one is entirely sure why we do it, but everyone does it a few times a day at the least. So how could something as innocent as a yawn be dangerous? It's called temporomandibular dislocation , which is an eight dollar way to say "dislocated jaw." When you yawn, you open your mouth (Cracked is informative!) good and wide, and if for some reason the ligaments in that area are a little loose, your jaw bone can come straight out of the joint. Seriously: You could yawn right now (and the more we mention it the more likely it is) and half of your face could very well explode out of the other half of your face, like a goddamn cartoon skeleton.
Life is dangerous: You could slip in the shower, get hit by a bus, mauled by a bear or drown in breasts (it happens, look it up). It always pays to be safe, and a life lived cautiously is a life lived long. For those of us who walk the cautious road and avoid the three lethal B's--buses, bears and breasts--wherever possible, life should be more or less safe. Right? Not in the slightest.
Cats: Winning the evolutionary race by convincing the people in the lead to carry them. Cats are MUCH smarter than people think. Cats' Control of Humanity
Good afternoon, members of the Press, Friends, Family, President of the Nike Corporation, CEO of Buick, Mom and fans across the world. I come before you today to answer for my actions, and I plan on doing that. I want to first thank you all for coming and supporting me during this, for the sake of argument, "difficult" time. All of your letters of encouragement have been very comforting, I guess. I know all the parts that we're supposed to play. You're all doing an excellent job of being absolutely mortified that I'm human, and I'm supposed to come out and talk about how confused and profoundly damaged I must be.
As I cower in my Brooklyn apartment, emaciated and terrified, I can't help but think back to what a friend back in London said to me when I first told him I was getting married and moving to America. "I'll tell you what, old chap," he said as he snapped his braces and leant back on his servant. "I've met an awful lot of foreigners in my time, and most of them couldn't be more peculiar if they painted themselves puce and grew tits on their shoulders. I've lived in Belgium, for Christ's sake. But for all our shared language, Americans are the oddest of the lot.
As some of you know, I've been running a growing book-publishing company out of my neighbor's shed for the best four years. So far, we've only focused on novels catered to one specific audience, but I'm pleased to announce that we will be expanding. From here on out, I will serve as the Chief Editor in Chief of O'Brien and "Sons" Erotic Fiction and Suspense Novel Publishing House.
I don't usually write about politics. It's important, but something I want no part of - kind of like a raw sewage treatment facility. But frankly, I haven't been this upset in a long time. And it's due to the logic-hating, herd-mentality rhetoric that some have been flinging in opposition to the so-called "Ground Zero Mosque."
Pretending to do stuff and be important since 1945. Just The Facts Organized to replace the League of Nations, which failed horribly. Likes to draw lines (i.e. Korea, Vietnam, Kosovo, Pakistan, Israel), all of which fail horribly.
"Mr. Gibson," I said as I shook hands with the dashing, young Lethal Weapon star with the piercing blue eyes. "I am thrilled that you've chosen me as your publicist. I swear, your image is in good hands, Mr.
Mark Twain once famously said "Studying humor is like dissecting a frog--you may know a lot, but end up with a dead frog." With all due respects to Mr. Twain, wherever and whomever he may be, comedy is a difficult and tricky concept and we cannot expect just some guy like Mr.
In a move of government oppression we can sort of get behind, Iran's culture ministry has banned a number of men's haircuts including the mullet and other "decadent Western cuts." What else is deemed illegally unstylish? Pony tails and elaborate spikes are also deemed immodest, so aging rockers and the cast of Jersey Shore should probably stay out of Tehran for awhile. There is actually a guide to which styles are now acceptable for male citizens.