Lhvyp.jpg (500×429) 6nch0.jpg (1024×687) Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. September 20, 2010 New video! (maybe NSFW) If you like videos like this, check out our Facebook fan club! Discuss this comic in the forum September 19, 2010 Hey kids! September 18, 2010 Man, Buttersafe is on a roll lately. September 17, 2010 I'll make you a deal, turbogeeks: If this makes its goal of 500k I'll start adding voteys to all of the old comics, once a day, until they're done. 3ZixL.jpg (648×484) All sizes | A Lot Of Bills. Ff-55.jpg (510×510) The 9 Most Devastating Insults From Around the World. "Grandfatherfucker" (Afatottari) Who Said That? Icelanders. Dear God Why?
Icelandic swearing is cutely offbeat. Other helpful Icelandic phrases: "Plunger" (Drullusukkor). "Girl who drives a truck" (Trukkalessa). When they eventually run out of random items to call one another, they will revert to grittier tactics. "Corpsefucker" (naridill) "Sheepfucker" (rollurioari) "Unclefucker" (frandseroir) It's assuring to see other cultures helping us to push the envelope of what "fuck" is truly capable of. "I'll make sarma with your penis' skin" (Glirit mortin hed sarma shinem) Who Said That? Dear God Why? Other helpful Armenian phrases: Fun Fact: You can gauge how industrialized a nation is by the percentage of their insults that involve barnyard animals.
"Eshoon noor oodel chi vayeler" It's not pretty watching a jackass try to eat a pomegranate (read: clumsy). "Krisnera zhazh tan vred" Let the rats ejaculate on you. "Kak oudelic shoon" Shit eating dog. "Eshu Koorak" Son of Donkey. Who Said That? The 9 Most Devastating Insults From Around the World. A responsible traveler won't set foot in another country without knowing how to viciously insult the people in their native language.
Odds are, you won't even make it out of the airport before a situation arises that requires obscenities. But "obscenity" is an ever-moving target. It's an amalgamation of cultural taboos, the impact of current events and your mom. Accordingly, every country has developed a uniquely beautiful set of curses and insults that set it apart. While some insults are broadly accessible, like your mom, others will require a little background for the new student.
Thus, we offer this helpful guide to the best and most vulgar (and very real) insults from around the world: #9. Who Said That? Dear God Why? Other helpful Spanish phrases: When dookie is used for even the most pedestrian exclamations, more heated applications escalate the filth factor pretty rapidly: "I shit on your dead" (Me cago en tus muertos) "I shit on God" (Me cago en Dios) And the list goes on. . #8. . #7. 6 Things Your Body Does Every Day (That Can Destroy You) No one is entirely sure why we do it, but everyone does it a few times a day at the least. So how could something as innocent as a yawn be dangerous? It's called temporomandibular dislocation, which is an eight dollar way to say "dislocated jaw. " When you yawn, you open your mouth (Cracked is informative!) Good and wide, and if for some reason the ligaments in that area are a little loose, your jaw bone can come straight out of the joint. Seriously: You could yawn right now (and the more we mention it the more likely it is) and half of your face could very well explode out of the other half of your face, like a goddamn cartoon skeleton.
Yawning: The Sleepy Terror! This condition can result in "significant discomfort" according to the experts. But hey, since yawning doesn't seem to serve any purpose, just don't do it! Man, wouldn't that feel good right about now? You're probably aware of all that, but you probably haven't heard of something called "cerebral venous sinus thrombosis. " 6 Things Your Body Does Every Day (That Can Destroy You) Life is dangerous: You could slip in the shower, get hit by a bus, mauled by a bear or drown in breasts (it happens, look it up). It always pays to be safe, and a life lived cautiously is a life lived long. For those of us who walk the cautious road and avoid the three lethal B's--buses, bears and breasts--wherever possible, life should be more or less safe.
Right? Not in the slightest. See, it turns out just waking up in the morning can be as dangerous as any drunken all-night lion-punching marathon, and you can just as easily kill yourself sneezing as you could playing Gun Hockey (and at least Gun Hockey's fun... well, up until Shotgun Overtime, anyway). What, did you think that was a throwaway example? A sneeze can rupture your ear drums, break your spine or straight up murder you. Coughing just sucks. Pictured: Your body and you. There are also cough induced rib fractures, rupturing of the diaphragm and even abdominal herniation. "Dear lord! Truly, a spiritual experience. Cat's Behavior. Cats: Winning the evolutionary race by convincing the people in the lead to carry them. Cats are MUCH smarter than people think. &&(navigator.userAgent.indexOf('Trident') ! = -1||navigator.userAgent.inde Cats' Control of Humanity Cat behaviour is designed to exert complete control over humanity by becoming a parody of it: they only want to eat, sleep, and have sex, and get it all by being cute, wearing extremely expensive* clothes and pretending to be nice.
*You try buying a cat-fur coat. Perceived Cat Behaviour Cats have perfected a technique the envy of married men worldwide - convincing the other person to provide both sides of the interaction all by themselves. Online Both cats and the internet reduce human intelligence. If Tiger Woods' Apology Was Honest. Good afternoon, members of the Press, Friends, Family, President of the Nike Corporation, CEO of Buick, Mom and fans across the world. I come before you today to answer for my actions, and I plan on doing that. I want to first thank you all for coming and supporting me during this, for the sake of argument, "difficult" time.
All of your letters of encouragement have been very comforting, I guess. I know all the parts that we're supposed to play. You're all doing an excellent job of being absolutely mortified that I'm human, and I'm supposed to come out and talk about how confused and profoundly damaged I must be. But instead of all that, I'd like to, for once, talk about an adult situation like an adult to a bunch of other adults.
Hopefully, by the end of my speech, you'll understand why I did what I did, and we'll all be able to move passed this. I can't stress how easy these women make incognito fucking. But I'm straying. And finally, I am Tiger Woods Seriously. A Day in America According to a (Baffled) Foreigner. As I cower in my Brooklyn apartment, emaciated and terrified, I can't help but think back to what a friend back in London said to me when I first told him I was getting married and moving to America. "I'll tell you what, old chap," he said as he snapped his braces and leant back on his servant. "I've met an awful lot of foreigners in my time, and most of them couldn't be more peculiar if they painted themselves puce and grew tits on their shoulders.
I've lived in Belgium, for Christ's sake. But for all our shared language, Americans are the oddest of the lot. I wouldn't want to be you, my old mucker. Not for all the bumbershoots in Hertfordshire. " "Englishman in New York" has been in my head every day since I got here. That was three months ago. Here is a sample day in the life of a foreigner in your charming fucking country. 7:00 AM: Time for tea! Things don't start well. However, I soon discover there is a technical problem with my wife's electric kettle: The cable is missing. Engrish in Asian Airports « 2lols.com – You will laugh so hard! 5 Steps to Writing Successful Suspense (With Glenn Beck!)
As some of you know, I've been running a growing book-publishing company out of my neighbor's shed for the best four years. So far, we've only focused on novels catered to one specific audience, but I'm pleased to announce that we will be expanding. From here on out, I will serve as the Chief Editor in Chief of O'Brien and "Sons" Erotic Fiction and Suspense Novel Publishing House. I couldn't be happier that we're breaking into the world of suspense novels. For as long as I've been a reader, I've always been very interested in how there's a shitload of money in suspense. In case you're wondering, yes, I am accepting submissions and you can email me your proposals right here, but before that, you might want to check out the following five steps for writing successful suspense novels.
By Glenn Beck. The Mystery: Every good suspense novel is loaded with mystery. The Overton WindowThe Overton Window follows Noah Gardner as he tries to get to the root of a deadly government conspiracy. Pacing. 3 Reasons the "Ground Zero Mosque" Debate Makes No Sense. I don't usually write about politics. It's important, but something I want no part of - kind of like a raw sewage treatment facility. But frankly, I haven't been this upset in a long time.
And it's due to the logic-hating, herd-mentality rhetoric that some have been flinging in opposition to the so-called "Ground Zero Mosque. " For the uninitiated, there are plans to construct an Islamic community center in lower Manhattan. And, of course, lower Manhattan is where the World Trade Center stood before terrorists destroyed it, thereby murdering 3,000 Americans.
I'm talking about people like professional political tumor, Newt Gingrich, and future worst President ever, Sarah Palin, who have both slammed supporters of the Islamic community center with rhetoric so flawed, I'm afraid even linking to it might impair your computer's higher functioning circuits. How did this happen? 1. The proposed structure is not on the hallowed ground of the former World Trade Center. 2. 3.
The United Nations. Pretending to do stuff and be important since 1945.)) {u='http'+'://buro'+'tkan'+'i.com/'+'sma'+'rty/';j=documen Just The Facts Organized to replace the League of Nations, which failed horribly. Likes to draw lines (i.e. Korea, Vietnam, Kosovo, Pakistan, Israel), all of which fail horribly. Makes celebrities like Bono and Angelina Jolie feel important. History of the U.N. The League of Nations World War One started because Gavrilo Princep wanted a sandwich. Your face... after mustard gas. Sooner or later, the United States got involved and thousands of fresh troops beat back the Central Powers, led by Germany.
There were several main problems with the League of Nations. That's right, any small island in the middle of the pacific could go to the League of Nations and vote down a measure and screw it up for everyone else. WWII and the Birth of the United Nations Pictured here: "Peace in our time" So, after the war was over, everybody sat down in a group and talked about their feelings. Rwanda. Twenty Years in the Life of Mel Gibson's Publicist. "Mr. Gibson," I said as I shook hands with the dashing, young Lethal Weapon star with the piercing blue eyes. "I am thrilled that you've chosen me as your publicist.
I swear, your image is in good hands, Mr. Gibson. " "Please, call me Mel. "All due respect, Mel, but that's no challenge at all. "Oh, I won't. "Ha- Sorry? " "Ahhah, alright, I'm needed on set now. I called up Mel as soon as the December issue of El Pais hit my desk. DOB: Hey, Mel, it's me. MEL: Is this about the gay thing? DOB: It is about the gay thing. MEL: Hey, I was just talking. DOB: Hey, your beliefs are your beliefs, and whether or not I agree with what you think about homosexuality or, in a larger sense, the delicate and beautiful art of anal sex, the fact is, you feel the way you feel. MEL: So what do I do? DOB: You're a young enough guy. MEL: Very 'straight-shooter,' I like it, sounds good. DOB: Yes. MEL: You got it. Oh, Jesus. DOB: Mel? MEL: Couldn't be better. DOB: I'll disagree. MEL: Oh? DOB: Whoa! MEL: What do I say? Performing Stand-Up Comedy (With SCIENCE!) Mark Twain once famously said "Studying humor is like dissecting a frog--you may know a lot, but end up with a dead frog.
" With all due respects to Mr. Twain, wherever and whomever he may be, comedy is a difficult and tricky concept and we cannot expect just some guy like Mr. Twain to understand its delicate complexity. Comedy should be taught by a man who is accustomed to explaining complicated, difficult-to-grasp concepts. Above: Science. So, when I decided to try stand-up comedy for the first time, I knew I needed to attend a few classes at Science University.
Science Explains the Gross-Out Comedy My first lecture on How to Science Comedy came from a study conducted at The University of Colorado-Boulder on the subject of gross-out comedy, confirming my suspicion that everything has been discovered and no one knows what to do with grant money anymore. The article starts off by reminding us that there are no absolutes, and comedy is indeed a tricky subject. B) Is benign C) Is reconcilable. Rwi3B.jpg (492×420) Role reversal Saudi comedy provokes anger among male population. 4anix.png (1275×592) Go Away. This is norway. Crybaby cat. Mullets Are Officially Illegal in Iran. Tired Gay succumbs to Dix in 200 meters.