5 Absurdly Expensive Pieces of Junk Food. We all dream of winning the lottery and turning our own lives into The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (only in our version, we own the house, damn it).
But once you live in a rich neighborhood and replace your friends with an entourage, there are certain pleasures you'll surely miss. The homemade fireworks that were such a hit in the trailer park won't go down so well in your gated community, and none of the fancy dinner parties you attend will serve hot wings. The 6 Most Incredible Real World Beast Masters. Disney movies make hanging out with wild animals look like a walk in a fun, happy, completely predator-free park.
But in the real world, being around untamed wildlife isn't so much about carefree singing and dancing and monkeyshinin' as it is about running and screaming. Then coming back later to clean up the poop trail you inevitably left behind. Or it usually is, anyway. 20 R-Rated Versions of Classic Disney Movies. 11,201 More Pieces of Terrible Advice. Very few critics are brave enough to scrutinize romance self-help books.
One big reason for this is eunuchism. I'll demonstrate: Concentrate on your lap when you read this tip from 10,000 Ways to Say I Love You: "2206. Give her socks that picture her favorite flowers. " 4 Romantic Books to Disgust and Annoy Your Lover. Some articles require a lengthy explanation in order to give the reader a context in which to view them.
This is not one of those. What I am doing here is simple: I'm proving, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that romance guru and best-selling author of 1001 Ways to be Romantic, Gregory J.P. Godek is the stupidest, laziest waste of stem cells to ever "write" a book. 21 Office Supplies Too Awesome To Exist Slideshow. 15 Unintentionally Perverted Toys for Children. Toys are carefully planned investments that companies spend countless hours developing in the hopes that children will use them to foster memories that they'll cherish for a lifetime.
But sometimes, they just end up looking like dongs. The 6 Cutest Animals That Can Still Destroy You. If animals could talk, they would spend most of their time calling us dicks and telling us to get off their land. The traits we think of as "cute" are often simply tricks animals have developed to get tourists to throw them food. Here are six animals that you'll probably want to steer clear of, no matter how adorable they look on that wall calendars. 6 Insane Dog Behaviors Explained by Evolution. One reason we love dogs is they give us so, so many reasons to feel superior to them.
But much of what they do is so bizarre and unfathomable that you can't help but wonder what the hell they're thinking. It turns out they have their reasons. Weird, disgusting reasons. Look, this is the elephant in the room. If we're going to talk about strange dog behavior, and don't get the "they eat shit" thing off the table right away, we would be shouted down until we addressed it. Dogs eat their own poop, they eat other dogs poop, mother dogs eat the pups' poop (your mom never loved you enough to do that, did she?). So What the Hell Are They Thinking? Back when dogs were wild and roaming the plains instead of riding around inside of tiny purses, predators could find a dog's den by detecting the smell of poop, specifically the kind left by defenseless, tasty puppies. Only imagine that stick is poop. Sniffing Each Other's Asses "Dear Cracked.com article on weird dog behavior.
6 Adorable Cat Behaviors With Shockingly Evil Explanations. There seem to be two kinds of people in the world: those who don't understand cats, and those who think cats are kind of douchebags.
Unfortunately for cat lovers, science has kind of come down on the side of that second group. The 7 Most Terrifying Disney Movie Deaths. Kids, like adults, love it when bad things happen to bad people.
So Disney movies always make sure the villain gets what they've got coming to them in the end. And, sometimes, Disney gives them what they had coming, and then way, way more. Here are seven Disney villains who got dispatched in (sometimes literally) gut-wrenching ways sure to keep the kiddies up for many nights. #7. Exploring the Mysteries of the Mind with the Sims 3. The 8 Most Baffling Food Mascots of All-Time. If you're ever diagnosed with crippling insanity, you can always get a job designing corporate mascots.
For instance: Orville Redenbacher used a reanimated corpse as their spokesperson. Yummy Mummy has one too, and both of them are perfect examples of what happens after you die when you're killed by Snuggle Bear. My point is, most mascots are crazy, and here are the food industry's eight craziest. Please note that I did not include the Grape Nuts character Volto From Mars on this list because this is a "craziest" list, not a "best" list. Kool-Aid Man -- Kool-Aid.