Do not go gentle into that good night. Arranged Marriages - Past and Present. Although arranged marriages are no longer common in Europe, they are still a frequently used method of matchmaking in other areas today.
There are, however, some critical differences between historical arranged marriages and the contemporary variety. The most key change is that in many cases, the potential bride or groom has the option of rejecting the mate chosen by the family, at least in theory. In reality, though, there can be enormous familial pressure to agree to a spouse, once both families have determined the match to be a good one. There is another difference between traditional and modern arranged marriages, which is that in contemporary arranged marriages, efforts are made to ensure that the bride and groom are compatible.
A key similarity between the traditional and modern versions is that there is no expectation that the couple will be in love at the time of their marriage. Should arranged marriages be outlawed. Arranged Marriages. After a lecture I gave at a university in India in the 1990's, two professors asked me to evaluate the curriculum vitae of an Indian psychologist with a recent American PhD. I assumed they were considering him for a position in their department. Not so. It turned out that the professors were married to each other, the other man was planning on staying in the United States, and they were trying to decide whether to arrange for their daughter to marry him.
In Western cultures, the choice of a spouse is up to the individual. We have institutions like dating that give young people a chance to accumulate relevant experience over a number of years, so that they can make an informed decision. In traditional societies, parents or other designated individuals choose a person's spouse (and occupation). Because the choice of spouse is not up to the individual, some traditional cultures keep young men and women apart to prevent sexual temptation from wreaking havoc. Does love last longer in arranged marriages?
NEW YORK – Elke Thompson and Sam Quinn got engaged the old-fashioned way: their parents arranged it.
Quinn, 23, a quiet engineering student from Springfield, Mo., wanted to settle down, and asked his parents to play matchmaker. Through church friends, they found Thompson, an apple-cheeked 17-year-old from Manhattan, Kan. "We spent one day together, and then his dad said, 'Yes or no? We're leaving tonight with an answer,'" Thompson recalled with a giggle. Most of the courtship occurred among the parents. "I was very sure that I was going to take whoever they thought was right for me," Thompson said. Fifteen months later, Thompson wore a wedding dress and Quinn donned a dark suit as they sat in a hotel ballroom in New York City, quietly fidgeting around a table adorned with white flowers, waiting with 42 other couples for the Rev.
Thompson's high-school friends think she's nuts, she said.