5 Horrible Things Nobody Tells You About Legally Growing Pot. We're not interested in taking one side or other in the whole pot-legalization thing. Maybe you're passionate about legalization, maybe you're not. Maybe you use the stuff, maybe you don't. We're not here to make assumptions. But unless you're rich (and you're not -- we will make that assumption), you've surely thought about what an easy life it must be for people who are able to legally grow the stuff, right? Or, maybe not. . #5. Say you're an aspiring pot grower living in one of the states where medicinal marijuana is legal. GettyPresident Obama, seen here demonstrating the largest legally acceptable blunt size.
Confused? And even if you steer clear of all of their rules, there are hundreds of other little conditions to consider, like the number of "mature" plants you are allowed to have (and what qualifies as "mature") and how much "manicured" product you're allowed to carry at any given time. Getty"Alright, we'll overlook the pot, but we've got to ticket you for not buckling it up. " 6 Absurd Movie Scenes (That Actually Happened) As much as certain comedy sites seem to revel in mocking the absurdity of classic movie moments, the fact is, that's what Hollywood films are for: We watch them because we want to see things that could never happen in real life. Except that some of those moments actually did happen, either because they were inspired by reality or because someone saw the movie and said, "Hey, let's do that, too. " #6.
Face/Off -- The Cops Ram a Bad Guy's Plane Off the Runway The Absurd Scene: In Face/Off, John Travolta is an FBI agent and Nicolas Cage is a dangerous lunatic (he plays a terrorist). It warped poor Nic forever. Earlier in the film, before the two switch, Cage is trying to escape in a plane and Travolta stops him by ramming a helicopter into it: Travolta prevents the plane from taking off and forces Cage to crash into a warehouse made entirely from fireworks, apparently. This is about a thousand pensions worth of damage. The Reality: Unless we're talking about a cop from Brazil, that is. . #5. . #4. 6 Obnoxious Old People Habits (Explained by Science) How many times have you gotten behind some large sedan going 30 mph on the highway, only to notice it's being driven by someone born during the Great Depression? Do you stop to say, "One day, that'll be me! " Because it will. Science is busy understanding why old people are the way they are, and they've come up explanations for things like...
Some elderly types have a kickass sense of fashion while others stopped buying clothes just after Lyndon Johnson left office. But regardless of fashion sense, most elderly men seem entirely unaware that their waists don't move up and down their torsos like some kind of wrinkled slide whistle. As you get older, your body goes through changes even more awesome than the ones you experienced in puberty, which is to say everything puberty gave you falls the fuck apart. He used to be 6'7". At the same time that you're developing your brand new pant-suspending gut, your ass vanishes along with your hips.
Smelling Like Yesteryear. 8 Customers Everyone Hates. Let's face it: most of the people reading this have had jobs in the service industry. Waiter, barista, the shoe guy at the bowling alley. Everybody does it at one point in their lives. A low point. After all, no matter how much you love people, dealing with customers still pretty much sucks. Here are the ones that all of us in the customer service brigade have learned to hate: Distinguishing Characteristics: Tomato Eyes, Jamaican flags. Now don't get us wrong; there's nothing wrong with the occasional trip to Stoneyville. "What happens now? " Enter the Stoner, the guy who has no shame at all for being ripped off his ass. But it's not like the extraordinarily complicated system of menu-order-wallet-money changes once you've decided to puff the magic dragon.
"I'd like eleven hundred tacos. Come on guys, either wait until after you've got your food to smoke, or get a grip for the 30 seconds it takes to order a churro. Suitable Punishment in Hell: Being constantly stoned out of their minds. 21 Images You Won't Believe Aren't Photoshopped (Part 8) This is the latest edition of our most popular feature, in which we demonstrate that the truth is stranger than Photoshop. Here are more photos that will make every poster in the comment section scream "FAKE!
" but are absolutely real. In case you missed the previous episodes, here's Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, the gritty reboot that doesn't acknowledge the previous editions, Part 6 and Part 7. And now ... #21. You Are Now Ascending to the Fourth Circle of Hell ... Via Buzzhunt.co.uk This looks like a bank of escalators seconds before they were buried under a lava flow, but it's actually one of about a hundred decorated subway stations under Stockholm, Sweden, where the natural bedrock ceiling has been painted.
If nothing else, it has to make it a hell of a lot easier to figure out if you're at the right stop. Via Wikimedia Commons"Hmmm ... this has less magma than I remember. " #20. Via Forbes Via ForbesAdmit it -- you would have drawn a dong. #19. Via Parisdailyphoto.com #18. . #17. The 5 Most Impractical Aspects of Superhero Costumes. Ruby Rocket is a professional cosplay model, which means she gets to dress up like a super hero for a living. In case you're wondering how she snagged your dream job, first of all she looks like this: The one standing outside of the car. Also, Ms. Rocket hand makes each of the costumes that she is hired to wear at conventions. The amount of time she's spent making and wearing super hero costumes has given her unique insight into parts of a costumed crime fighter's life that you might have taken for granted.
Below, she and Cracked writer Jacopo della Quercia give you a privileged look at what it would actually be like to wear the unnecessarily tight pants of some of our favorite superheroes. You Don't Want Your Costume to Be Too Cool What They Tell Us: Look, the entire point of a superhero costume is to look cool. Ruby as Loki, the Norse godess of memorable superhero costumes. Why It's Bullshit: "I've gotten requests where a client wants exactly 10,000 rhinestones on a costume. Ms. Ms. The 5 Worst Sources of Advice on Television. Entertainment and good advice rarely cross paths. This is partly because most good advice--don't run with scissors, watch your money, don't bring a bong to a job interview--isn't fun to watch.
No, it's far more fun to watch people flail and flounder than to succeed at life, and that's exactly what bad advice accommodates. With that in mind, here are five of the most entertaining purveyors of awful advice to be found on television. Mystery from VH1's The Pickup Artist Mystery, the star of VH1's The Pickup Artist, has dedicated his career to teaching men how to seduce women through seminars and bootcamps that he hosts around the world. And like the other professions that exist exclusively within the conference rooms of the La Quinta Inn chain -- knife sales, pyramid schemes, sports memorabilia auctions, beauty pageant workshops for children - the fact that Mystery charges money for the advice he dispenses seemed more likely to send him to Hell than cable television.
Vests. Why Tech Support Sucks: A Look Behind the Scenes. I sacrificed several months of my life, sanity and dignity working in tech support to amass the dark knowledge I share in this article. I may have even helped you with a computer problem at some point. If so, I'm sorry. Now, it probably seems like every time you call tech support you're playing a game of dipshit-roulette that by and large you can't win. You probably spoke to one of three people: The outsourced guy in India who, as best you can tell, is either explaining how to reset your BIOS or reading you amateur erotica; The mouth-breather who refuses to believe that you've already power cycled the modem and that you are fully aware that a computer needs to be plugged in for it to properly function; If these three characters sound familiar, you're not unlucky.
The Suck: Around the 15th time the recorded voice assures you of your importance, you begin to imagine what you're certain is a faint whiff of sarcasm in her voice. The Reason For The Suck: Goddamnit. Reason for the Suck: "Great!