Let's put the wild back into our wilderness. Eight months into the 10-year rendition of Tian Tian and Yang Guang and already we are discovering exquisite new ways of torturing them.
Last week, it was Tian Tian's ninth birthday and so the beast-masters at Edinburgh Zoo made a birthday cake for the poor and bewildered panda. It was a three-tiered effort with carrots instead of candles and made to a secret recipe of rice, soya and honey. We can only guess at the reasons why the recipe is "secret". Perhaps the zoo has "secret" plans to market it as a high-protein and healthy alternative to Mr Kipling's stalwart confections.
Unsurprisingly, the birthday girl refused to co-operate. The barbaric deal our government struck with the foul Beijing regime to lock up the two giant pandas simply reveals Scotland's perverse attitude to wildlife. Indeed, even those few majestic species we do allow to bide in Scotland are at risk from gamekeepers, those rural social misfits whom absentee landlords pay to keep their sporting estates well stocked. 7 Reasons the 21st Century is Making You Miserable. Scientists call it the Naked Photo Test, and it works like this: say a photo turns up of you nakedly doing something that would shame you and your family for generations.
Bestiality, perhaps. Ask yourself how many people in your life you would trust with that photo. If you're like the rest of us, you probably have at most two. Even more depressing, studies show that about one out of four people have no one they can confide in. The Sad Bear 1, by Nedroid The average number of close friends we say we have is dropping fast, down dramatically in just the last 20 years. . #1. That's not sarcasm. The problem is we've built an awesome, sprawling web of technology meant purely to let us avoid annoying people. Get stuck in the waiting room at the doctor? From outofbalance.org Now that would be awesome if it were actually possible to keep all of the irritating shit out of your life. Oh, yeah. . #2. Lots of us were born into towns full of people we couldn't stand. We Need To Do More When It Comes To Having Brief, Panicked Thoughts About Climate Change.
The 20 hottest years on record have all taken place in the past quarter century.
The resulting floods, wildfires, and heat waves have all had deadly consequences, and if we don't reduce carbon emissions immediately, humanity faces bleak prospects. We can no longer ignore this issue. Beginning today, we must all do more when it comes to our brief and panicked thoughts about climate change. Indeed, if there was ever a time when a desperate call to take action against global warming should race through our heads as we lie in bed and stare at the ceiling, that time is now. Many well-intentioned people will take 20 seconds out of their week to consider the consequences of the lifestyle they've chosen, perhaps contemplating how their reliance on fossil fuels has contributed to the rapid melting of the Arctic ice cap. And I'm not talking about letting the image of a drowning polar bear play out in your mind now and then.
To do anything less is irresponsible. If I Go Extinct I Swear I Will Take As Many Humans With Me As I Can. I think people always expected that when the time came for us to go extinct, we'd go down all quietlike—that just because we're small blue butterflies with a wingspan of an inch, we wouldn't put up a fight.
Well, I can assure you that before my kind dies out there will be a reckoning. Blood will run in the streets. Human blood. I swear to you on all that is good and holy that before the Karner blue goes extinct, myself and the last remaining members of my species will take out as much of the human race as we possibly can. There will be mayhem. You can take that to the bank. I know when you look at me all you see is a pretty little insect with a taste for the nectar of wild lupine plants. Here's the thing: I'm actually fine with going extinct.
You think I'm kidding around? Maybe then you'll take land conservation a little more seriously. And guess what we'll be doing while you're gasping for air? And the look on your children's faces is going to be priceless.