6 Real People With Mind-Blowing Mutant Superpowers. If the insane, explosive popularity if superhero movies is any indication, we are fascinated by people who are insanely better than us at any given thing.
Probably because, in real life, we're all such a bunch of incompetent boobs that we've been enslaved by blue paint, flashing lights and crying French babies. But it turns out, superpowers are real. And not just the secret ones that everyone has, or even the ones everyone thinks they have -- this Cracked Classic is about a group of people that, in a sane world, would already have multi-colored leather jumpsuits, delightfully mismatched personality traits and a skyscraper shaped like whatever they decide to call themselves. We've all dreamed of having superpowers at some point (today), but the majority of us have to accept the sobering reality that preternatural abilities simply aren't possible. For instance ... #6. As with most superpower discoveries, Xiangang found his by acting like a braying jackass.
So What's Going on Here? #5. . #4. 6 Real People With Mind-Blowing Mutant Superpowers. #3.
Kim Peek Remembers Everything By the time Kim Peek passed away in 2009, he had perfectly memorized 12,000 books, simultaneously making him both the best and the worst person to be stuck next to on a bus. Dmadeo"Anyone up for a stirring monotone recitation of Finnegan's Wake? " One reason he was able to put away so many books is that he could read them two pages at once, one page with each eye, because apparently that's something you can do. It is claimed Peek had an eidetic memory, or photographic memory, something that people aren't even sure actually exists. Peek's story was also the inspiration for the film Rain Man. In your face, Hoffman. 7 Innocent Gestures That Can Get You Killed Overseas.
If you've ever had your penis cut off and/or been executed while on holiday, you'll probably know that it's easy to offend people from other cultures. Unless you learn the ways of the place you're visiting, even the most well-meaning tourist can regularly find his oesophagus stuffed with burning goat. But surely just plain common sense and good manners will save you, right? Wrong. Extend Your Hand, Palm Outward in Greece What you think you are saying: "Phew! What you are actually saying: "Phew! The 11 Most Unnecessary 'How To' Guides on the Web. Who says there's nothing useful on the Internet?
From Yahoo Answers to the countless How-To sites, the web is full of non-experts telling you how to do everything from change a muffler to castrate a llama. But some of these "how-tos" seem so grossly unnecessary, we're wondering if these people aren't just getting paid by the word. How to Use Kitchen Scissors This guide is there to save those of us who didn't take those scissors operation classes in college. Most Important Step: Step 2: "Put the scissors in the kitchen in an easily accessible place. " Well, that makes sense. The article goes on to recommend situations where your newfangled kitchen scissors can come in handy.
"Chopping up whole tomatoes from a can. " The 11 Most Unnecessary 'How To' Guides on the Web. The day anyone learns how to drive from reading about it on WikiHow, is the day we abandon the road entirely.
Most Important Step: Step 1: "Get a driver's or learner's permit, if your state requires one. " FYI, there's only one state in the US that doesn't require a learner's permit: New Hampshire. So keep that in mind while walking around the streets of New Hampshire, a certain percentage of drivers just climb behind the wheel, utterly unfamiliar with the concept.
Then we get to step five: "Watch others while they drive and ask questions. " Most Important Tip: "Remember that the person in the car behind you cannot read your mind. " Well that's good, because when driving the only thing going through our mind is a mental image of us ramping our car over a row of school buses and a ring of fire.
"Vrrrrroooooommm! Most Important Warning: "Don't stop suddenly. " Really? Related Article You're Likely To View Next: "How to be a better driver. " 99 Blinks per minute = Normal ocular behavior. Almost. Nope. The 10 Most Devastating Insults of All Time. The French call it "l'esprit d'escalier," or "staircase ghost.
" To the rest of us, it is known simply as the comeback, that divine and tender coincidence of all the universe's comedic forces at the perfect moment. A truly good comeback can instantly turn tables, elevate the terminally zinged to the status of champion, and reduce the zinger to a stuttering fool. Sadly, many of us will go our entire lives without scoring a decent comeback, doomed to pause awkwardly and mutter some pathetic variation of "your face” for the rest of our miserable lives. For us, it must be enough simply to marvel at the comebacks of the better equipped, and possibly memorize them for later personal use. After all, you never know when you're going to have to take that bitch Lady Astor down a peg. John Wilkes vs. The Players: Setting the Scene: When not revolutionizing the consumption of sliced meats and cheeses, Montagu was known for his incompetence, cruelty, lechery, and Satan-worshipping.
“invoking Satan.”