30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself. The Fear of Hurting the Other and the Inhibition of Self. Click here to contact Beverly and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile Even when it is unintended, some people find it intolerable to hurt someone they love.
To experience hurting the other can create shame, guilt and strong “I am a bad person” feelings. As a result, we may avoid saying what is on our mind and put aside our own feelings and needs. This inhibiting of the self can be harmful to our relationships and can create the conditions for developing anxiety and depression.
Marlene, a 27 year old married woman, came into my therapy office feeling anxious and depressed. What Marlene described to me suggested that she had issues she needed to work on as an individual and that as we did this she would be more able to address the difficulties in her relationship with Ben. While Ben might be particularly subject to feeling hurt or slighted, Marlene’s inability to tolerate hurting Ben and talk with him about these issues, made the relationship difficult. “Why Women Can’t Have It All” Cross-posted at Jezebel.
I’ve been watching the response to Anne-Marie Slaughter’s Why Women Still Can’t Have It All roll out across the web. Commentators are making excellent points, but E.J. Graff at The American Prospect sums it up nicely: Being both a good parent and an all-out professional cannot be done the way we currently run our educational and work systems… Being a working parent in our society is structurally impossible. It can’t be done right… You’ll always be failing at something — as a spouse, as a parent, as a worker. In other words, the cards are stacked against you and it’s gonna suck. And it’s true, trust me, as someone who’s currently knee-deep in the literature on parenting and gender, I’m pleased to see the structural contradictions between work and parenting being discussed. But I’m frustrated about an invisibility, an erasure, a taboo that goes unnamed. Ten Very Good Reasons You Aren't Married Yet. Marriage May Not Be the Elixir of Life for Every Couple. I had this really pretty post, but then I clicked the wrong button and it went away.
Le sigh. Basically, I think that there are two very important variables here: 1) economics 2) the social acceptability of children outside of wedlock #1 should be obvious: weddings are expensive, and unfortunately more Black people tend to be impoverished than White. As for #2, I don't know if other White people's parents are the same way, but mine freak the eff out when they know someone having a baby out of wedlock. Science of Relationships - If you want to read about love and marriage you've got to buy two separate books. ~ Alan King Popular wisdom suggests that intensely passionate love is a rare phenomenon in long-term partnerships.
The assumption is that passion peaks in the early stages of a relationship and then fades over time. In a recent study, however, researchers found that intense love for a partner (even after 30 years or more together) may not be as rare as people assume. In two samples of married individuals in the U.S., researchers asked people a series of questions about their relationship including how intensely they love their partner. Contrary to expectations, in response to the question “how in love are you with your partner?” What was different about people who reported very intense love for their partners compared to those who didn’t? Frequent affection, such as hugging, kissing, and holding hands, was also more common among those who reported intense love.
30 Ways to Improve Your Relationship. Good Relationships: 7 Characteristics. Relationships are essential if you want to live your life to the fullest.
75 Ways to Show Love - For Healthy Relationships. 1. - Boost Your Sex Appeal in 30 Days. 50 Best Cheap Date Ideas - Handmade Wedding. Posted July 20, 2012 | 110 Comments The weekend is right around the corner and we thought it was a great opportunity to share this fun weekend-ready post.
For some couples, once they get engaged the ‘dates’ go right out the window, traded in for constant wedding planning. We say… bring on the date nights! Take a (temporary) wedding planning break once in awhile to remember why you’re tying the knot in the first place. Be spontaneous. P.S. 50 Cheap Date Ideas 1. Photo by lindsey k photography Oh, and bring your pup.
40 healthy relationship signs. Tiny Buddha: Wisdom Quotes, Letting Go, Letting Happiness In - StumbleUpon. “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
~Lao Tzu Ten years ago I thought I was going to marry my college sweetheart and become a young bride, which made it all the more devastating when happily ever after didn’t pan out. When we broke up, I felt literally like I lost a limb, complete with phantom sensations of his hand in mine.