30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself. When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you.
As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back. Here are some ideas to get you started: Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. Update: Read our follow-up to this post: 30 Things to Start Doing for Yourself. The Fear of Hurting the Other and the Inhibition of Self. Click here to contact Beverly and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile Even when it is unintended, some people find it intolerable to hurt someone they love.
To experience hurting the other can create shame, guilt and strong “I am a bad person” feelings. As a result, we may avoid saying what is on our mind and put aside our own feelings and needs. This inhibiting of the self can be harmful to our relationships and can create the conditions for developing anxiety and depression. Marlene, a 27 year old married woman, came into my therapy office feeling anxious and depressed.
“Why Women Can’t Have It All” Cross-posted at Jezebel.
I’ve been watching the response to Anne-Marie Slaughter’s Why Women Still Can’t Have It All roll out across the web. Commentators are making excellent points, but E.J. Graff at The American Prospect sums it up nicely: Being both a good parent and an all-out professional cannot be done the way we currently run our educational and work systems… Being a working parent in our society is structurally impossible. Ten Very Good Reasons You Aren't Married Yet.
Lists are lame.
So I'm going to make my own lame alternative! 1.) Marriage May Not Be the Elixir of Life for Every Couple. I had this really pretty post, but then I clicked the wrong button and it went away. Le sigh. Basically, I think that there are two very important variables here: 1) economics 2) the social acceptability of children outside of wedlock #1 should be obvious: weddings are expensive, and unfortunately more Black people tend to be impoverished than White. As for #2, I don't know if other White people's parents are the same way, but mine freak the eff out when they know someone having a baby out of wedlock. Science of Relationships - If you want to read about love and marriage you've got to buy two separate books. ~ Alan King Popular wisdom suggests that intensely passionate love is a rare phenomenon in long-term partnerships.
The assumption is that passion peaks in the early stages of a relationship and then fades over time. In a recent study, however, researchers found that intense love for a partner (even after 30 years or more together) may not be as rare as people assume. In two samples of married individuals in the U.S., researchers asked people a series of questions about their relationship including how intensely they love their partner. Contrary to expectations, in response to the question “how in love are you with your partner?” 30 Ways to Improve Your Relationship. Good Relationships: 7 Characteristics.
75 Ways to Show Love - For Healthy Relationships. 1. - Boost Your Sex Appeal in 30 Days. 50 Best Cheap Date Ideas - Handmade Wedding. Posted July 20, 2012 | 110 Comments The weekend is right around the corner and we thought it was a great opportunity to share this fun weekend-ready post. For some couples, once they get engaged the ‘dates’ go right out the window, traded in for constant wedding planning. We say… bring on the date nights! Take a (temporary) wedding planning break once in awhile to remember why you’re tying the knot in the first place.
Be spontaneous. P.S. 50 Cheap Date Ideas 1. Photo by lindsey k photography Oh, and bring your pup. 40 healthy relationship signs. Tiny Buddha: Wisdom Quotes, Letting Go, Letting Happiness In - StumbleUpon. “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
~Lao Tzu Ten years ago I thought I was going to marry my college sweetheart and become a young bride, which made it all the more devastating when happily ever after didn’t pan out. When we broke up, I felt literally like I lost a limb, complete with phantom sensations of his hand in mine. It didn’t take long for a dark guilt to bubble up—a constant festering reminder of all the mistakes I’d made. I was highly unstable and insecure back then, and most of my relationships revolved around holding me up. In the ruins of that romance, I didn’t know what scared me more: that someone else might hurt me again or that I might hurt them enough first to deserve it. I simultaneously felt an aching need to fill in the hole where he’d been and an overwhelming sense of nausea at the thought of being with someone else.