Maybe You Don't Know What Love Is. We sit silently.
My friend stares deeply into her empty glass, occasionally shuffling the ice around with her straw. “Wow,” she says. I sit and wait for her to say something else. What started out as a festive night somehow became a long, deep discussion about love, what it consists of, and how rare it actually is. Maybe You Don't Know What Love Is. Maybe You Don't Know What Love Is. 6 Toxic Relationship Habits Most People Think Are Normal.
There’s no class in high school on how to not be a shitty boyfriend or girlfriend.
Sure, they teach us the biology of sex, the legality of marriage, and maybe we read a few obscure love stories from the 19th century on how not to be. But when it comes down to actually handling the nitty-gritty of relationships, we’re given no pointers… or worse, we’re given advice columns in women’s magazines. Yes, it’s trial-and-error from the get-go. And if you’re like most people, it’s been mostly error. But part of the problem is that many unhealthy relationship habits are baked into our culture. A lot of the self-help literature out there isn’t helpful either (no, men and women are not from different planets, you over-generalizing prick). Fortunately, there’s been a lot of psychological research into healthy and happy relationships the past few decades and there are some general principles that keep popping up consistently that most people are unaware of or don’t follow. 1.
Wrong. 2. 3. 4. 5. The Guide to Strong Boundaries. This post is long overdue.
Since I wrote Models: Attract Women Through Honesty and mentioned the importance of maintaining strong personal boundaries, people have been asking me what boundaries actually are, what they look like, how to build them and maintain them, do they help that much, are they that important, do they stop your girlfriend from farting too much in her sleep, where are my keys, have you seen my keys, where are my damn keys? PSA: Setting strong personal boundaries are not a cure-all for your relationship woes (or your lost keys). In fact, they’re more of a side effect of having a healthy self-esteem and a general low level of neediness with people around you. Boundaries work both ways: they create emotional health and are created by people with emotional health. They are something you can start working on today with the people close to you and you’ll begin to notice a difference in your self-esteem, confidence, emotional stability, and so on.
Love is Not Enough. Mark Manson - Author. Thinker. Life Enthusiast. How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship. Long distance relationships are the worst.
“Is he/she worth waiting for? Are they feeling the same way I do?” “Am I kidding myself thinking this can work?” “Would I be better off dating the mailman instead? At least he comes to my house every day.” I get it. As a young man who was terrified of any sort of commitment whatsoever, I found that I could only allow myself to fall for a girl if she was at least 500 miles away.1 All three of my significant relationships have involved long distance in some way. So I guess what I’m saying is, I’ve seen both sides of the long distance relationship coin. When it comes to surviving the distance, here’s what I’ve learned is most important: 1. What kills long distance relationships is the constant underlying uncertainty to everything. The longer you two are apart, the more these uncertainties will fester and grow into legitimate existential crises. 2. A funny thing happens to humans psychologically when we’re separated from one another.
Screw Finding Your Passion. Remember back when you were a kid?
You would just do things. You never thought to yourself, “What are the relative merits of learning baseball versus football?” You just ran around the playground and played baseball and football. The Most Important Question of Your Life. Everybody wants what feels good.
Everyone wants to live a carefree, happy and easy life, to fall in love and have amazing sex and relationships, to look perfect and make money and be popular and well-respected and admired and a total baller to the point that people part like the Red Sea when you walk into the room. Everyone would like that — it’s easy to like that. If I ask you, “What do you want out of life?” And you say something like, “I want to be happy and have a great family and a job I like,” it’s so ubiquitous that it doesn’t even mean anything. A more interesting question, a question that perhaps you’ve never considered before, is what pain do you want in your life?
Everybody wants to have an amazing job and financial independence — but not everyone wants to suffer through 60-hour work weeks, long commutes, obnoxious paperwork, to navigate arbitrary corporate hierarchies and the blasé confines of an infinite cubicle hell. Because happiness requires struggle.