Phrases you wish you could say at work. Aladdin explained Funny Pictures Add Funny. New pictures uploaded! Lots of Jokes - Did You Know? Q. Why do men's clothes have buttons on the right while women's clothes have buttons on the left? A. When buttons were invented, they were very expensive and worn primarily by the rich. Since most people are right-handed, it is easier to push buttons on the right through holes on the left. Q. A. Q. A. Q. A. Q. A. Q. A. Q. A. Q. A. Q. A. Mary liked this a lot and when returned to Scotland (not a very good idea in the long run), she took the practice with her. Q. A. Q. A. The Kiss. - TheFunnyPlanet.com - Funny Pictures, Epic Fails, Funny Planet, iPhone Autocorrects, Awkward Texts, LOL Photos, TheFunnyPlanet, Hilarious, Animal LOLs, Troll Comics, Gags, Cartoon. The Freedom Square of Internet. The fact that you don't want a poodle. Your new poodle.
The fact that you don't want a poodle is truly irrelevant. You're getting a poodle, whether you like it or not. I hope you learn to enjoy poodles, because, just a few short minutes from now, you'll have one. Enjoy your poodle. Why am I getting a poodle? Shut up.[1] Can I have an iPod instead? No. Or we could compromise, and you could name it iPood. Besides, when you think about it, a poodle is just as good as an iPod. Good luck with that, though.[2] Could you at least get me another breed of dog?
No. Your poodle sounds diseased. I think you mean your poodle. Citations ↑ I'll fuck you up.↑ I say "good luck", because I've found it difficult in the past to train a poodle to play the trumpet. FukYeah - This guy is a genius. Frustrated wife puts gamer husband up for sale on Craigslist. Guys, be careful how involved you get with this season's awesome crop of video games. Your wife may try to sell you off. The happy couple (Photo credit: ABC News) Kyle Baddley learned this the hard way earlier this month, when his wife Alyse got frustrated by his constant Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 playing and offered him up to the highest bidder on Craigslist.
"I am selling my 22 year old husband," the ad read. "He enjoys eating and playing video games all day. Easy to maintain, just feed and water every 3-5 hours. The ad, of course, was a joke. One woman offered to retrain him. "We didn't think we would get any responses at all, but we've gotten so many," Alyse said. Some people, though, took it a bit too seriously. Among the unconcerned was Kyle's mother. Kyle, it seems, has learned his lesson and has pulled back a bit from his Modern Warfare 3 playtime.
Kyle's taking it in good humor -- but he points out for the record that his wife was in line with him when the game went on sale. The Alot is Better Than You at Everything. As a grammatically conscientious person who frequents internet forums and YouTube, I have found it necessary to develop a few coping mechanisms. When someone types out "u" instead of "you," instead of getting mad, I imagine them having only one finger on each hand and then their actions seem reasonable. If I only had one finger on each hand, I'd leave out unnecessary letters too! If I come across a person who seems to completely ignore the existence of apostrophes and capital letters and types things like "im an eagle and im typing with my talons, so dont make fun of me cuz this is hard," I like to imagine that they actually are an eagle typing with their talons. It would be a hassle if you had to hop in the air and use your feet to karate-chop two keys simultaneously every time you wanted to use the shift key to make a capital letter.
Also, eagles lack manual dexterity, so I can understand why they'd want to leave out apostrophes. Eagles are all about efficiency. The Party. At some point during my childhood, my mother made the mistake of taking me to see an orthodontist. It was discovered that I had a rogue tooth that was growing sideways. My mom and I were told that the tooth, if left unchecked, would completely ruin everything in my life and turn me into a horrible, horrible mutant.
Unless I wanted to spend the rest of my natural life chained in a windowless shed to avoid traumatizing the other citizens, I was going to need surgery to remove the tooth. I was accepting of the idea until I found out that my surgery was scheduled on the same day as my friend's birthday party. My surgery was in the morning and the birthday party wasn't until the late afternoon, but my mom told me that I still probably wouldn't be able to go because I'd need time to recover from my surgery. I asked her if I could go to the party if I was feeling okay. But it was too late. And then she would let me go to the party. THE PARK!! I sat contentedly at our table for a few minutes. Dog. A lingering fear of mine was confirmed last night: My dog might be slightly retarded. I've wondered about her intelligence ever since I adopted her and subsequently discovered that she was unable to figure out how stairs worked.
I blamed her ineptitude on the fact that she'd spent most of her life confined to a small kennel because her previous owners couldn't control her. I figured that maybe she just hadn't been exposed to stairs yet. Accepting the noble responsibility of educating this poor, underprivileged creature, I spent hours tenderly guiding her up and down the staircase - placing biscuits on each step to lure her and celebrating any sign of progress. When she still couldn't successfully navigate the stairs at the end of her first week with me, I blamed it on her extreme lack of motor control.
The next clue came when I started trying to train her. I was wrong. She tries really hard. At that moment I realized that I needed to know for sure whether my dog was retarded or not. Lesson579.jpg (JPEG Image, 670x515 pixels) Troll letter - Sico8. Awesome Japanese Troll FTW! TM): LAPD, FBI, CIA. Rq5MJ. If you can... Engineers vs. Lawyers. Three lawyers and three engineers are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three lawyers each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?
" asks a lawyer. "Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer. Give me more. Bush and the Bible - George Bush Bible Joke. What I think about religion | Funny Pictures, Images & Really Very Funny Pics. Cute animals videos too.