The Onion - America's Finest News Source. Comics, Quizzes, and Stories. How to Be Awesome. The other day I was talking with my friend Phil, a doctoral student in philosophy. Phil is much smarter than me – of that there is no doubt – but he’s struggling with the process of working through a draining series of requirements to receive his terminal degree. A Ph.D. in a field like philosophy usually requires at least 5 years of study beyond the 4-year bachelor’s degree. Some students do it in less time, but many others require six, seven, or even eight years.
Even after you get the degree, the training process continues with an average of six more years working as an Assistant Professor. In other words, it’s a hard struggle for a long time. Phil, on the other hand, is good at what he does and enjoys the academic environment much more than me. “Why not find another way?” “That’s what everyone says,” Phil told me. Go and be awesome. The thing is, the answer Phil is getting is completely true. However, I also understand the challenge. Think about this every day: I hung out with J.D. Funny Anti Jokes.
Man walks into a bar and pauses: at the other end of the bar, there's this guy with a big orange head. Just kind of sitting there, mooning into his drink. So the man asks the bartender, "Say, what's up with the guy with the big orange head? " And the bartender says, "It's an interesting story. Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell it to you. " So the man walks over and introduces himself and offers to buy a round. The guy with the big orange head says, "Yeah, I'll bet you want to know the story, huh? " To which the man replies, "Sure, if you don't mind. " The man with the big orange head sighs and says, "You know, I've gone over it in my mind a million times. "The genie thundered, 'You have released me from my ten-thousand year imprisonment, and I am in your debt. The man at the bar is agape. "The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' "So I said, 'Amazing! "The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' "The genie booms, 'You have one wish remaining.'"
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