6 Mistranslations That Changed The World. In a rapidly shrinking world, it's becoming more and more important to have translations that are both lightning-fast and actually understandable. To underline how hard this is, here's that sentence translated from English to Thai to Russian to Japanese and back to English, courtesy of Google Translate: Become increasingly important in order to convert the world to fall faster, as well as lightning, to understand the actual.
And as much as that sucked, it's nothing compared to these doozies. A Missed "I" Gives Us Martians Back in 1877, Italian astronomer Giovanni Schiaparelli reported a rather shocking discovery: There were "canali," or canals, on Mars. Since canals are artificial by definition, this caused a shitstorm of speculation about the possibility of a long-vanished race of Martians who must have made the structures to irrigate their crops.
IstockphotosAnother common misinterpretation: "Mars is covered with cannoli. " But it wasn't Schiaparelli who really got Martian fever going. 5 UFO Sightings That Even Non-Crazy People Find Creepy. If you want to research UFO sightings, we hope you like bullshit. Because you're about to be drowned in sensationalist books and blogs from UFO enthusiasts who declare every blinking light in the sky to be the opening scenes of Independence Day. It's no coincidence that so many people who encounter UFOs also really want to believe in them. However, buried deep within the U.S. military's own records are some very bizarre, and very well-documented sightings that have to give even a skeptic second thoughts. Are they aliens? We're not saying that. We're just saying they're really, really weird.
The Chiles-Whitted UFO Encounter It's not all that uncommon for airline pilots to spot UFOs. Named after commercial airline pilots and World War II veterans Clarence Chiles and Charles Whitted, this sighting occurred in the wee hours of July 24, 1948, when both Chiles and co-pilot Whitted reported having to evade, what could only be described as a giant, flying ... dildo. The Unsettling Evidence: ...yet. The 5 Most Mind-Blowing Coincidences of All Time.
We have previously pointed out that the kind of coincidences you'd dismiss as bad writing if you saw them in a movie happen all the time in real life. In fact, history is full of bizarre coincidences that get downright creepy ... John Wilkes Booth's Brother and Abe Lincoln's Son Edwin Booth, perhaps unfairly known today as the brother of assassin John Wilkes Booth, was once upon a time known as the greatest actor in American history. In fact, certain theater historians and steampunk enthusiasts would probably argue that he still is today. His reputation as an actor was described as "mythic," and a statue of him stands in Manhattan's Gramercy Park to this very day. That's what having a brother who killed the freaking president gets you -- in his day, Edwin was as famous as George Clooney, as classy as Clive Owen, as lusted after as Johnny Depp and as awesome as Josh Brolin.
Hell, he even looked suspiciously like Robert De Niro ... But there's something else ... Where it Gets Weird: Well ... The 6 Most Insane Sex Lives in the Animal Kingdom. We have detailed demographic information about our readers, so one thing we know is that most of you reading this have fairly obscene and borderline illegal sex on an almost weekly basis. But no matter how nasty you like to get in your leather-studded Bone Chamber, there are multiple species of the animal kingdom who still put you to shame.
Like... The "Taking One for the Team" Beetle Picture this: You're a guy, and you meet a cute girl at a bar, only to find that she has an asshole boyfriend with her. You come up with a plan. "Hey big boy," you huskily whisper to the douche boyfriend, "how about we go to the alley out back and I'll show you I'm all woman. Also known as the "Bugs Bunny Stratagem" So you lead the Kevin Federline wannabe out behind the dumpster, and allow him to make passionate love to you until he is exhausted from the effort.
This is how every date goes if you are a gamma male stag beetle. Aww, yeah. Totally worth it. So you're a bee this time. Dude. Deeeeeeath! Yeah, probably. The 6 Most Terrifying Foods in the World. Humans are like goats. We'll eat any damned thing. Just ask the people who make PowerBars. In fact, you'll find foods in this world that don't even seem possible.
Not just that they could exist, but that people would actually stick this stuff in their mouths without a gun to their head. We've found six dishes that seemed to have sprung from Satan's own cookbook. From: Mexico. What the hell is it? The eggs have the consistency of cottage cheese. Wait, it gets worse ... Danger of this turning up in America: We're not sure Taco Bell hasn't snuck this shit into their food already. From: Sardinia, Italy. What the hell is it? Its translucent larvae are able to jump about 6 inches into the air, making this the only cheese that requires eye protection while eating. Wait, it gets worse ... Danger of this turning up in America: There is significant danger here, as we're thinking the cheese companies have a lot of maggot stock in the back of their warehouse they'd like to get rid of. From: Norway. The 9 Most Racist Disney Characters. These old Disney movies are a little bit like your aging Uncle Frank.
Honestly, he means well when he points out that Will Smith is "well-spoken. " It's just that he, like the assemblage of clips below, dates from a time when people were unfairly characterized by their ethnic background (the acceptable methods are, of course, religion, geography, sexual preference and income). The Merchant from Aladdin The opening musical sequence from the hugely popular 1992 animated film had to be edited due to protest from Arab-American groups for saying about the Middle East what most of us were merely thinking. Lesson Learned: The Middle East is a barren wasteland where the justice system runs on a clear and simple limb-removal policy. Best (Worst?) Sebastian from The Little Mermaid In this 1989 film, a Jamaican-sounding crab teaches Ariel that life is better "Under the Sea," because underwater you don't have to get a job.
Lesson Learned: Are we reading too much into it? Still too subtle? Best (Worst?) 7 Psychotic Pieces of Relationship Advice from Cosmo. We get it. Guys are tough to figure out: There's like 24 possible combinations that you can make with 1) beer 2) food 3) sex and 4) sports. No wonder their girlfriends have to resort to lady magazines to gain insight into the buzzing hive that is the male mind. We know most women laugh that stuff off as cheap entertainment not to be taken seriously, but what if they actually did listen to all of the advice? It'd pretty much turn into a nightmare of paranoia and petty revenge. He Shares the Details of His Day, Therefore He Must Be Hiding Something Men just aren't as communicative as women, especially when they're stressed. Guess what? "Don't be fooled by a guy who offers up tons of minor bits of information about where he's been or what he's been doing.
"How many more facts before you'll love me? " Yes, according to Cosmo, by sharing so much about the stressful day he just had, the man is actually revealing that he's cheating on his partner (probably with Sarah). Sheesh, what a rough day. 11 Celebrities Who Were Secretly Total Badasses. One of the small comforts of watching a movie is knowing that, yeah, those guys might be idols up on the big screen, but off-camera they're probably just like the rest of us: 30 pounds overweight, living in an abandoned semi-truck cab and selling weed for denture money.
But every now and then, we come across actors whose real lives are even more incredible than their fake ones. Like ... If there's one thing that Han Solo is really good at, besides stupid ear-piercing decisions, it's being America's favorite aging action hero. The assumption, of course, is that in real life, Harrison Ford is nothing like the smooth operator he plays in movies, especially after we get a gander at that screaming midlife crisis of an ear hole up there.
Sure you've flown a blimp Harrison Ford. The Badass: Ford is the real-world Han Solo, if Han Solo piloted helicopters, worked for free and actually liked helping people. "Look, Your Worshipfulness, a friend in need is a friend indeed. " And your father. The 12 Most Unintentionally Disturbing Christmas Ads.
Christmas is the biggest shopping holiday of the year. So it's no surprise that companies spend every December absolutely bombarding us with ads full of cheerful, wholesome, uplifting messages to capitalize on all that goodwill and turn it into something useful: money. And then there are the ads that seem to want nothing to do with cheer and goodwill, but rather to unsettle you someplace deep in your soul, so that you will never be "right" again. We think that's a pretty good idea because -- we don't know -- there's just something about you we plain don't like.
So here, look upon these and despair: No that's not fake. Every picture tells a story, and this one only gets worse the more you think about it. Coca-Cola's Sprite Boy Coca-Cola had been brutally pimping Santa out for years by the time this ad came out in 1948. Two things: Nipples, and Santa has hung himself. Whatever the explanation, Merry Christmas, kids! But you know what's even worse? Look at his sunken, withered eyes. 8 Psychologically Traumatizing Kids Halloween Costumes. I recently purchased three bags of apples, five packs of caramel wrap, and 100 razor blades, which can mean only one thing: it's Halloween time!
A time when millions of children are at risk. Oh, not just those trick or treating at my door, but around the world. I'm talking about the mentally traumatizing affects of certain children's costumes. Seemingly innocent, merry disguises that lead to years of psychotherapy. Can purchasing the wrong costume for your child really cause mental illness? Can you easily slip Rohphynol into a packet of Skittles? (Sure can!) So here's a heads up on the top 8 Halloween costumes for causing psychological scars, replete with the faulty logic that leads to the parental purchase and the inevitable psychiatric opinion to follow years later. "Hmm, my little girl is growing, and while I can see a certain sexuality to the outfit, it's not very revealing. "Aw, fuck it. "Oh, look! "Good news, I've figured out why your 10 year old son keeps molesting himself. 5 Topics Guaranteed to Elicit (Condescending) Advice. Do you know what is even worse than a touchy subject like cat declawing that suddenly turns everyone around you into the Hulk?
A touchy subject that turns everyone around you into Dear Abby. Try mentioning any of the below things to a large group of people -- or just try not hiding any of these things from a large group of people -- and you will have so much condescending advice on your hands that you could, I don't know, build a really annoying house out of it. You'll be surprised at how many people you like and respect will suddenly turn into advice columnists from hell. #5. Diets / Weight Loss Just mention you are trying to lose a few pounds, and you will be inundated with Diet Experts. Some of them may understand the science, and some of them may have lost weight themselves, and sometimes both, but you can probably bet on neither. "Look, here's what you need to do. " "Midnight? Whatever they tell you, they will insist that this is the only right way, that this is THE weight loss secret.
5 Insane Ways Words Can Control Your Mind. On some level we already know that language shapes the way we think. We're automatically more afraid to fight a guy named Jack Savage than somebody named Peewee Nipplepuss, even if we've never seen either of them before. It's totally illogical, but you probably run into an example of that every day, and don't notice it. While we tend to think words are just sounds we make to express ideas, science is finding that language is more like a fun house mirror, warping what we see in mind-blowing ways. For instance ... Speaking English Makes Us More Likely to Blame People Let's say your roommate Steve is jumping on your bed. Maybe you have a Tempur-Pedic mattress and he wants to see if he can make a glass of wine fall over, like in the commercials. How will you answer? Keep in mind, Steve pulls this shit all the time. The answer largely depends on what language you speak.
"Maybe it's a kid-friendly version of Jackass? " Later, the scientists quizzed the subjects on the people in the videos. Hard. 6 Brutal Leaders And Their Ridiculous Secret Hobbies. Everybody needs a hobby, but people find release in many surprising ways. A mechanic might unwind by knitting, a ballet dancer might take up boxing. But what do you do to unwind after, say, a long day at the genocide factory? Just ask these guys: Hitler Loved Disney and Sketched Characters Everybody knows Hitler was an artist, and while paintings of his have supposedly popped up before, recent sketches discovered in 2008 shed a little more light on the twisted mind behind the madman: He was a Mouseketeer.
Everyone needs a hobby. Hitler wasn't just a casual fan either. Osama Bin Laden Ruled the Volleyball Court Osama Bin Laden hates America. We're not making this up; stories of Bin Laden's volleyball prowess come from insiders like his former bodyguard, Nasser al-Bahri. So why is America's number one enemy also the number one fan of the homoerotic near-orgy from Top Gun? You might say he's "built for the game. " Hey, it worked for Robin Hood. Saddam Hussein Wrote Sappy Romance Novels. The 6 Creepiest Places on Earth (Part 2) In Cracked's continuous effort to make your local haunted house look like a boring pile of dog turds, we once again present the creepiest real places on Earth.
Whether it's due to their bizarre histories, suspicious coincidences or good ol' human insanity, these are the locations even the die-hardest of atheists wouldn't venture into without a crucifix and a Super Soaker full of Pope-blessed water. Located smack in the middle of a swamp in the heart of Aztec country is the popular tourist destination La Isla de las Munecas, or Island of the Dolls, a name missing at least two adjectives and the word "fucking. " To get there, visitors have to hire a guide to take them by boat through the canals of Xochimilco, then to the island itself, all the while making the guide promise on a stack of Bibles that he's not going to abandon them once they reach their destination. "Seriously, Pablo? Not that he'd do that, right? Oh. One that will cost tourists sleep for decades. Guess we'll never know. Homey. The 7 Most Horrifying Museums on Earth. Remember being bored out of your skull because your parents dragged you to some stupid museum when you were a kid?
Well, it could have been worse. Much worse. Because there are apparently museums out there capable of inflicting the kind of trauma a person never recovers from. #7. El Museo De Las Momias Location: Guanajuato, Mexico The El Museo is the museum of HOLY SHIT WHAT IS THAT! Why... does that exist anywhere? To say this is a museum full of mummies doesn't even come close to conveying the unspeakable horror of this place. You know one of those hands will reach out and grab you. The Mummies of Guanajuato are naturally preserved bodies from a cholera outbreak that hit Guanajuato way back in 1833. Most of the mummies on display were corpses whose families could not afford to pay a grave tax levied on their families once they died.
You went up on display. Hey, have we mentioned the babies? "Come play with us... " "...forever... " "...and ever... " #6. Location: Palermo, Sicily #5. Location: St.