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Historical Nonsense

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Norton I, Emperor of the United States. Joshua A.

Norton I, Emperor of the United States

Norton So much has been written about Emperor Norton, and interest in this ninteenth-century character continues into the twenty-first century. Many of the “decrees” attributed to Norton I were fakes; written in jest by newspaper editors at the time for amusement, or for political purposes. Those “decrees” listed here were, we believe, actually issued by Norton. September 17, 1859 – Joshua A. December 2, 1859 – Norton I dismissed Gov. February 1, 1860 – Decree from Norton I ordered representatives of the different states to assemble at Platt’s Music Hall to change laws to ameloriate the evils under which the country was laboring. July 16, 1860 – Decree from Norton I dissolved the United States of America. 6 Things From History Everyone Pictures Incorrectly.

It's a running theme here at Cracked that a lot of what we think we know about history has been filtered through many centuries of utter bullshit.

6 Things From History Everyone Pictures Incorrectly

Our image of the past is largely made up of Hollywood inventions, propaganda and uneducated guesses. So you will probably be surprised to find that... Note: We don't want to be cruel, but your life is pretty much the most boring life that could possibly exist. 8 Historic Symbols That Mean The Opposite of What You Think.

If you want to motivate people, you don't rely on logic and reasoning.

8 Historic Symbols That Mean The Opposite of What You Think

No, what people need is a symbol. A slogan, a flag, the face of a hero to stick on a T-shirt. So what do you do if the real world doesn't provide you with something people can rally around? You just make that shit up. Misunderstood By: Anarchists, 4Chan. Despite anarchists' general failure to unite long enough to make any meaningful progress against their ideological enemies (democracy, capitalism, communism and Internet forum moderationism), they do have a few running themes and symbols in common.

The comparison is probably most recognizable to popular culture as the basis of the graphic novel/box office catastrophe V For Vendetta, in which a dude dresses up like Fawkes and brings down an evil dystopian theocracy. Because hey, why not? While anarchists may be right that Fawkes was the only person ever to enter Parliament with honest intentions, they've forgotten what those intentions were. Fawkes' face of freedom. The 5 Most Horrific Ways People Have Tried to Discourage Sex. About 95 percent of everything males have ever done has been with one goal in mind: to impress the ladies and hopefully get one of them to touch their wiener.

The 5 Most Horrific Ways People Have Tried to Discourage Sex

But parallel to that runs an alternate universe of people whose entire goal is to stop themselves or others from having sex. How far would they go? Horribly, disgustingly far. No, some of this is not for the faint of heart. Male infibulation is the technical term for a procedure that basically wires your dick shut to prevent sex or masturbation. And... how do you take a leak?

Who Did It (and What in God's Name was Wrong with Them)? In Ancient Greece and Ancient Rome, the last thing a slave owner wanted was to have his slaves fornicating and masturbating when they could be out picking grapes or being killed by lions for entertainment. The practice branched beyond the slave trade towards the fine arts as well. A tradition that lives on today. 7 Insanely Advanced Weapons History Somehow Forgot About. As we have mentioned before, technological breakthroughs aren't always built upon or improved -- oftentimes they're just outright forgotten, destroyed or lost to some ridiculous accident.

7 Insanely Advanced Weapons History Somehow Forgot About

The same goes with military technology. Some ancient weapons were literally centuries ahead of their time yet wound up in the trash when society decided they were simply too awesome for their time. Like ... 14th-Century Cruise Missiles. 6 Famous Unsolved Mysteries (That Have Totally Been Solved) One of our favorite pastimes here at Cracked is sucking the mystery out of life like the cream out of a Twinkie, leaving only the bland, dry sponge cake of reality behind.

6 Famous Unsolved Mysteries (That Have Totally Been Solved)

To that end, we've decided to list the often mundane solutions to some of the world's most enduring mysteries, and once again, you're welcome. The disappearance of Amelia Earhart is probably the most well-known mystery in the world that doesn't involve Tom Hanks looking for clues in old paintings. In 1936, Earhart planned to reserve herself a page in the record books by flying around the world; a 29,000-mile journey. On the last 7,000-mile leg of her second attempt in 1937, she disappeared after giving her last radio transmission. The transmission was not anything helpful like, "I'm going to try to just fly through this mountain. 17 Apocalypses We'll Never See Coming Slideshow. 8 Awesome Cases of Internet Vigilantism.

Yet another unintended side effect of the web has been the birth of the Internet lynch mob.

8 Awesome Cases of Internet Vigilantism

Now, everything from child abuse to bad customer service can get the online masses whipped into a frenzy of Old Testament-style vengeance. Whether this is good, bad, or downright terrifying, we'll let you be the judge.