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http://www.humanistsofutah.org/2002/WhyCantIOwnACanadian_10-02.html

Why Cant I Own a Canadian?

October 2002 Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show.
“ Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. ” Mark Twain “ I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. ” Lily Tomlin “ I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. ” Woody Allen “ I haven't spoken to my wife in years.

Sarcastic Quotes, Funny Quotes - P. 11 - Sarcasm Society

http://www.sarcasmsociety.com/sarcastic-quotes/11.html